(no subject)
Just got off work like 10minutes ago. Today was alright besides the fact that my back has been throbbing all day. It really sucked so I took my last pill for my back. It helped pretty good..I need to go back to the doctor to get another prescription this really fucking sucks. I'm all alone in Brandon's dorm. He's in town today...I wish I didn't have to work so I could have gone too. I felt like crying because he got to go run around and have fun and I was stuck making subs. I've been getting a little depressed lately just about dumb shit. I don't feel really satisfied with myself. Sometimes when I look in the mirror I hate myself. I don't think I'm pretty anymore. I feel like I've gained so much weight and I have gained a good bit of weight. I gained 30lbs since last summer and then 5 extra pounds in the last month. I guess you can't really tell, but I feel the weight...just cant see it. I want to go on a diet, but you know me. I have all these things I promise myself I will do and never do...like workout after work..go on a diet... 15 days until our 3month! I'm happy. I already know what I'm going to get him for Christmas..I have it picked out and I can't tell you guys because he might just come across this sometime before then and find out and it's going to be a BIG secret. He'll love it. I'm in the mood to get drunk. Messed up. I want to have fun...and be in a diff. state of mind for awhile. I wish I could go to Ocean City...but they already left to go. Which blows. I love Ocean City..Brandon, Joey, and myself are supposed to get our own place sometime in the next 6months. I gotta turn 18 first though!! Yeah, that's coming up in 5months. I'm actually really excited. But, my 18th is a lot diff than everyone elses. Everyone elses is just...oh yeah i'm 18 cool go by smokes. Mine is yeah...18..buy my own smokes...go bar hopping...get my license...get my ged. See what I mean. It's like I don't know. I'm going to go get some sleep before brandon gets here. Bye guys.