(no subject)
Well seeing I’m sitting here home on a Friday night I decided an updated is what I need.
Today was alright I guess, every class was stupid besides for history because we were in the library all hour & Jon made me laugh continually. Keyboarding was so incredibly stupid, I use to like that class but now I hate it with all my might. Then science we watched forces gump because our teacher just so happened to be absent. I made Amanda a little picture, it was cute. Then made Geoff a little thing that he’s going to frame and put in his room.
Jacob walked home with me because I didn’t want to walk alone & the whole time he was talking to me in German & it was just so funny.
So I came home & did what I had to do.
My mom and dad have been gone for not twenty four hours and even though it might sound weird, I miss them. I don’t know.
Ah, coming into high school I was thinking that nothing could ever change between my friends & I and as of right now I’m realizing the dramatic changes. I honestly, seriously feel like I have no one and I can’t trust anyone. For real, its hard to trust anyone anymore, which to me is kind of sad. Because, I have so much to tell & no one to tell it to. Another thing I’ve been realizing is how much people like blow their friends off for the people that don’t even matter & then people who are going to be out of there life in the matter of two months. I mean, I totally understand how it feels to be put in the position of picking a guy/girl or what not over a friend and even though you know the right thing to do is pick your friends… in the end you end up choosing the wrong thing, not your friends.
And I’m not directing this towards anyone what so ever but, I don’t even know what I’m trying to say. So let me just break it down for you all, when you pick someone over your long time friends… & when that someone totally leaves you… you come running back to your friends right? Well… I just don’t think that’s right. I mean once or twice but after so many times it gets irritating. But I guess I should really just shut up about that because everyone makes mistakes & so on.
I’ve also come to the conclusion that the north girls & east girls are still, like not hanging out much… like yeah, a hi here and there but nothing to major… I was so excited for all of us to become one big group… but that’s not how it is in the least.
Moving on.
Lately, all I’ve been doing is thinking… thinking, what if I would have done this, what if I would have done that & I’ve realized all the big mistakes I’ve made through my life time and all the major things I just wish I could take back. Lately I’ve been finding myself getting into such deep thoughts that it just makes me want to cry… like life, I just don’t get it. The average person lives what? 80 years? & the thought of what happens after you die just kills me. I mean, I do have my beliefs… but sometimes you just have to wonder if what you believe is true. So many people believe so many different things that you just don’t know what to believe. I don’t know. I guess everyone thinks about that kind of stuff & I just felt the need to let my thoughts out.
What I do know is that I am like one lucky son of a gun' to have the family that I do. Like seriously, I have the best family ever… I could say five billion things about each & everyone of them. I don’t think I show enough appreciation to them even though I appreciate every bit of everything they do & I wouldn’t trade the world for what I have.
the thought of growing up also scares the bajebies out of me... becoming an adult & then from there on.
or what about the feeling when you like some one so much... & you think about them every second of the day... only because, yeah i don't even know what i was going to say... it's just the thought of that makes me want to hang myself over the pacific ocean. love her.
My birthday is in about eight days & I’m really hoping to get a digital camera… just because I think it would just give me something to do… everything I see weather it’s the sky or a leaf on the ground I always think ‘that’d be an awesome picture.’ yeah, I’m gay. But I think photography just might be my thing. So a camera is all I want for my birthday & if that’s what I shall get- your guarantied to see five billion million pictures posted in my journal.
So yeah, I’m so very excited about this baby- that yesterday I went to the doctor’s with my mom & sister, just so my sister could actually find out how many months pregnant she is & what not. She’s one month and some days pregnant. For some reason I have a feeling that she’s having a girl, which would be awesome. It’s so weird to think that she’s really going to have a baby though… I don’t know why, just the thought of it. Maybe I’m a little bit jealous because I’m the youngest sister & Megan treats me like a million bucks & the thought of things changing is kind of gives me a jealously feeling, which I think anyone would feel. but, hey I’m not going to be selfish about it. I’m happy.
I really want/need a vacation or something. I want to go out to California and learn how to surf, thats what i want to do! that’d just make my life. Another thing I’d like to do is move! Oh, that would also make me sort of happy, I think it’s just the thought of getting a fresh start though.
Well I’m going to end this now because my hands are starting to hurt, I just realized that I've been listening to the same song for the past two hours & my sister Erin just called and wants me to do something with her... so i think i might just end up spending the night over there... even though i don't want to, it'll give me something to do.
So, farewell.<3
&youareamazing.
Today was alright I guess, every class was stupid besides for history because we were in the library all hour & Jon made me laugh continually. Keyboarding was so incredibly stupid, I use to like that class but now I hate it with all my might. Then science we watched forces gump because our teacher just so happened to be absent. I made Amanda a little picture, it was cute. Then made Geoff a little thing that he’s going to frame and put in his room.
Jacob walked home with me because I didn’t want to walk alone & the whole time he was talking to me in German & it was just so funny.
So I came home & did what I had to do.
My mom and dad have been gone for not twenty four hours and even though it might sound weird, I miss them. I don’t know.
Ah, coming into high school I was thinking that nothing could ever change between my friends & I and as of right now I’m realizing the dramatic changes. I honestly, seriously feel like I have no one and I can’t trust anyone. For real, its hard to trust anyone anymore, which to me is kind of sad. Because, I have so much to tell & no one to tell it to. Another thing I’ve been realizing is how much people like blow their friends off for the people that don’t even matter & then people who are going to be out of there life in the matter of two months. I mean, I totally understand how it feels to be put in the position of picking a guy/girl or what not over a friend and even though you know the right thing to do is pick your friends… in the end you end up choosing the wrong thing, not your friends.
And I’m not directing this towards anyone what so ever but, I don’t even know what I’m trying to say. So let me just break it down for you all, when you pick someone over your long time friends… & when that someone totally leaves you… you come running back to your friends right? Well… I just don’t think that’s right. I mean once or twice but after so many times it gets irritating. But I guess I should really just shut up about that because everyone makes mistakes & so on.
I’ve also come to the conclusion that the north girls & east girls are still, like not hanging out much… like yeah, a hi here and there but nothing to major… I was so excited for all of us to become one big group… but that’s not how it is in the least.
Moving on.
Lately, all I’ve been doing is thinking… thinking, what if I would have done this, what if I would have done that & I’ve realized all the big mistakes I’ve made through my life time and all the major things I just wish I could take back. Lately I’ve been finding myself getting into such deep thoughts that it just makes me want to cry… like life, I just don’t get it. The average person lives what? 80 years? & the thought of what happens after you die just kills me. I mean, I do have my beliefs… but sometimes you just have to wonder if what you believe is true. So many people believe so many different things that you just don’t know what to believe. I don’t know. I guess everyone thinks about that kind of stuff & I just felt the need to let my thoughts out.
What I do know is that I am like one lucky son of a gun' to have the family that I do. Like seriously, I have the best family ever… I could say five billion things about each & everyone of them. I don’t think I show enough appreciation to them even though I appreciate every bit of everything they do & I wouldn’t trade the world for what I have.
the thought of growing up also scares the bajebies out of me... becoming an adult & then from there on.
or what about the feeling when you like some one so much... & you think about them every second of the day... only because, yeah i don't even know what i was going to say... it's just the thought of that makes me want to hang myself over the pacific ocean. love her.
My birthday is in about eight days & I’m really hoping to get a digital camera… just because I think it would just give me something to do… everything I see weather it’s the sky or a leaf on the ground I always think ‘that’d be an awesome picture.’ yeah, I’m gay. But I think photography just might be my thing. So a camera is all I want for my birthday & if that’s what I shall get- your guarantied to see five billion million pictures posted in my journal.
So yeah, I’m so very excited about this baby- that yesterday I went to the doctor’s with my mom & sister, just so my sister could actually find out how many months pregnant she is & what not. She’s one month and some days pregnant. For some reason I have a feeling that she’s having a girl, which would be awesome. It’s so weird to think that she’s really going to have a baby though… I don’t know why, just the thought of it. Maybe I’m a little bit jealous because I’m the youngest sister & Megan treats me like a million bucks & the thought of things changing is kind of gives me a jealously feeling, which I think anyone would feel. but, hey I’m not going to be selfish about it. I’m happy.
I really want/need a vacation or something. I want to go out to California and learn how to surf, thats what i want to do! that’d just make my life. Another thing I’d like to do is move! Oh, that would also make me sort of happy, I think it’s just the thought of getting a fresh start though.
Well I’m going to end this now because my hands are starting to hurt, I just realized that I've been listening to the same song for the past two hours & my sister Erin just called and wants me to do something with her... so i think i might just end up spending the night over there... even though i don't want to, it'll give me something to do.
So, farewell.<3
&youareamazing.