why can't we just look the other way?
today was a fucking nightmare. i wrote a note to a guy that i've liked on & off & been to hell and back with that basically explained exactly how i've been feeling only to find out that him & his ex-girlfriend, or shall i say, girlfriend are back together. my friend claims he told me that they were back together when i gave him the note to give to this guy, but had i known that was the case, i wouldn't have written the note in the first place. & to think, i actually had confidence. i should know better. after everything i've been through with him, i should have known better.
but i still feel the same for him & i can't help it. & i still don't want to give up. & it's always been that way with him. i never give up. maybe that's a sign. i'm contradicting myself in saying that ultimately i knew i'd end up hurt, but maybe it is a sign. maybe i'm not supposed to give up. maybe something better than i could have ever imagined could come out of everything i've been through the past three or four years. wouldn't that be nice. yeah, right. we'll see.
i'm still not going to get my hopes up. i can't get my hopes up. i used to think that if i were to actually confide in myself and that other person that i would get what i wanted, but it just hasn't happened yet. i just bring myself up to fall back down again.
luckily, i received all of this lovely news before fine arts, so i was able to sketch a new painting.
warning: i had to use my camera phone because the cable for my camera is at work still.
last night;
niether are even close to being finished. & my camera phone makes them look extremely shitty.
[ .001. ] first name: laura
[ .002. ] middle name: katherine
[ .003. ] last name: msd9f!
[ .004. ] nickname(s): lku, lkuchs, flarf.
[ .005. ] gender: female
[ .006. ] age: fifteen.
[ .007. ] birthday: 8/30/89
[ .008. ] height: 5'5ish
[ .009. ] hair color: brown & blonde.
[ .010. ] eye color: blue
[ .011. ] race: white
[ .012. ] do you wear glasses or contacts: glasses
[ .013. ] do you have braces: no
[ .014. ] is your hair long or short: short
[ .015. ] where were you born: hyannis
[ .016. ] current location: " "
[ .017. ] zodiac sign: virgo
[ .018. ] how many languages do you know: english, some french.
[ .019. ] nationality: irish, italian, polish, french canadian & probably more.
[ .020. ] bad habits: biting my cheeks, picking my nails, thinking too much.
[ .021. ] piercings you have: 1st & 2nd holes. cartilige. navel.
[ .022. ] piercings you want: industrial, madonna, nose.
[ .023. ] tattoos you have: small star on my wrist that's fading away.
[ .024. ] tattoos you want: " " done so it'll stay.
[ .025. ] date: may ninth.
[ .026. ] time: 4:28
[ .027. ] ready for a bunch more questions: sure.
: Family :
[ .028. ] mother's name: joanne.
[ .029. ] father's name: todd.
[ .030. ] step-parent's names, if any: -
[ .031. ] brother(s)'s name(s): -
[ .032. ] sister(s)'s name(s): -
[ .033. ] favorite aunt: janet.
[ .034. ] favorite uncle: peter or kevin.
[ .035. ] favorite grandparent: i like them all the same.
[ .036. ] worst relative: well, he isn't actually blood-related to me. but i despise wayne.
[ .037. ] best relative: my cousins whitney & kevin.
[ .038. ] do you get along with your parents: sometimes i do, sometimes i don't.
[ .039. ] does anyone in your family understand you: my dad. sometimes.
: Pets :
[ .040. ] do you have any pets: yes.
[ .041. ] what are their names: maisy.
[ .042. ] what kind of animal(s): cat.
: School :
[ .043. ] are you still in school: yes.
[ .044. ] if yes, Did you drop out: -
[ .045. ] current gpa, or last gpa you got: i don't know.
[ .046. ] favorite grade: ninth. or this year.
[ .047. ] least favorite grade: most of the other years.
[ .048. ] favorite teacher: mrs. cazeault.
[ .049. ] least favorite teacher: fuck you, ms. sullivan. i hope you die.
[ .050. ] favorite subject: history & anything art.
[ .051. ] least favorite subject: math.
[ .052. ] do/did you buy lunch or bring it: both.
[ .053. ] play any sports on the school's team: i did cross country the past two years.
[ .054. ] do/did you do any extra ativities: voice lessons.
[ .055. ] are/were you popular: with the school as a whole, no, not really.
[ .056. ] favorite dance: i've found that at every school dance i've been to, i've been upset by something.
[ .057. ] favorite memory: i couldn't choose.
[ .058. ] least favorite dance: all.
[ .059. ] least favorite memory: i'm not sure.
[ .060. ] most humiliating moment: i'm not sure.
: Favorites :
[ .061. ] number: 64. i don't know why.
[ .062. ] clothing brand(s): i don't pay attention to the brand. but, my favorite designer is marc jacobs. or de la renta.
[ .063. ] shoes: all of them. sneakers, my dunks.
[ .064. ] saying: dfvnj8m9sidg
[ .065. ] tv show: degrassi, law & order svu, o'grady.
[ .066. ] sport: to watch? baseball.
[ .067. ] vegetable: anything aside from cilantro and beets.
[ .068. ] fruit: all, pretty much.
[ .069. ] movie: i could never choose.
[ .070. ] magazine: nylon.
[ .071. ] actors: edward norton.
[ .072. ] actresses: shannyn sossamon, scarlett johanson, angelina jolie, among others.
[ .073. ] candy: i don't know. probably twix.
[ .074. ] gum: orbit.
[ .075. ] scent: lavender, fire, burning marshmallows, clove cigarettes. no, i do not smoke.
[ .076. ] candy bar: twix.
[ .077. ] ice cream flavor: black raspberry or mint chocolate chip.
[ .078. ] color: green.
[ .079. ] season: spring & summer.
[ .080. ] holiday: halloween or christmas.
[ .081. ] band: i couldn't decide.
[ .082. ] singer: fiona apple.
[ .083. ] group: dj nasty
[ .084. ] rapper: sage francis, hands down.
[ .085. ] type of music: any.
[ .086. ] thing in your room: my bed, sewing machine & paints.
[ .087. ] place to be: the beach, especially at night. in a car with no destination. abandoned places.
[ .088. ] radio station: 90.7
[ .089. ] tv channel: the-n.
[ .090. ] junk food: idmkfs
[ .091. ] overall food: mashed potatos.
[ .092. ] store: whatever.
[ .093. ] shoe brand: lots.
[ .094. ] fast food: wendys.
[ .095. ] restaurant: overpriced/fancy restaurant---> the roadhouse or il maestro. normal---> b2 burrito
[ .096. ] shape: star or heart.
[ .097. ] time of day: sunset, night time.
[ .098. ] country: italy or greece.
[ .099. ] state: f4wfdsg
[ .100. ] boys name: bodiddly
[ .101. ] girls name: scarlett, violet.
[ .102. ] mall: providence place.
[ .103. ] video game: super mario
[ .104. ] shampoo: biolage.
[ .105. ] board game: nsdf9i
[ .106. ] computer game: the sims. or oregon trail.
[ .107. ] car: anything that can get me somewhere.
[ .108. ] music video: dunno.
[ .109. ] swear word: fuck.
[ .110. ] word: i don't know.
[ .111. ] month: june.
[ .112. ] cartoon character: peter griffin. or stewie.
[ .113. ] scary movie: too many.
[ .115. ] possession: my clothes. shoes. pictures. paints. cds.
: What's the first thing that comes to mind when you hear :
[ .116. ] eminem: I RAPPED EMINEM TODAY AT LUNCH. IT WAS ILLNASTY.
[ .117. ] dog: jesse :[
[ .118. ] hot: hot heat
[ .119. ] britney spears: gross
[ .120. ] nsync: pop!
[ .121. ] real world: ruthie
[ .122. ] orange: ade
[ .123. ] choice: sex
[ .124. ] fuck: you.
[ .125. ] bisexual: robb nastal.
[ .126. ] black: blue blue black & blue. red blood sticks like glue.
[ .127. ] icq: ndnf
[ .128. ] insane clown posse: a shotgun.
[ .129. ] linkin park: anime.
[ .130. ] jack: burger
[ .131. ] rainbow: homosexuality
[ .132. ] cherry: cola
[ .133. ] cucumber: salad
[ .134. ] shark: hunt
[ .135. ] life house: the o.c.
[ .136. ] bat: halloween
[ .137. ] leather: pants
[ .138. ] whip: kinky
[ .139. ] america: george bush
[ .140. ] water: dasani
[ .141. ] volcano: pompeii
: This or that :
[ .142. ] rock or rap: rock
[ .143. ] rock or pop: rock
[ .144. ] rock or r&b: rock
[ .145. ] rock or metal: rock
[ .146. ] rap or pop: rap
[ .147. ] rap or r&b: rap
[ .148. ] rap or metal: metal
[ .149. ] pop or r&b: pop
[ .150. ] pop or metal: either
[ .151. ] r&b or metal: metal
[ .152. ] linkin park or limp bizkit: limp bizkit haha
[ .153. ] tool or korn: tool
[ .154. ] selena or jennifer lopez: poop
[ .155. ] hot or cold: hot
[ .156. ] winter or summer: summer
[ .157. ] spring or fall: spring
[ .158. ] shakira or britney: britney.
[ .159. ] icp or eminem: eminem.
[ .160. ] marilyn manson or rob zombie: neither
[ .161. ] kittie or garbage: garbage.
[ .162. ] mtv or vh1: vh1.
[ .163. ] buffy or angel: neither
[ .164. ] dawson's creek or gilmore girls: gilmore girls
[ .165. ] football or basketball: tag football :]
[ .166. ] summer olympics or winter olympics: summer.
[ .167. ] skiing or snowboarding: both
[ .168. ] rollarblading or skateboarding: i have trouble with both
[ .169. ] black or white: black
[ .170. ] orange or red: red
[ .171. ] yellow or green: green
[ .172. ] purple or pink: pink
[ .173. ] slipknot or mudvayne: neither
[ .174. ] hot topic or pac sun: hot topic, i guess. but i'm not fond of either.
[ .175. ] inside or outside: outside
[ .176. ] weed or alcohol: neither.
[ .177. ] cell phone or pager: cell phone.
[ .178. ] pen or pencil: pen
[ .179. ] powerpuff girls or charlie's angels: neither.
[ .180. ] scooby doo or dino: nipple
[ .181. ] dragon ball z or pokemon: GOTTA CATCHEM ALL!
[ .182. ] star wars or star trek: IDC
[ .183. ] tattoos or piercings: piercings
[ .184. ] prep or punk: robb nastal
[ .185. ] slut or whore: same to me.
: Private life :
[ .186. ] do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend: no.
[ .187. ] do you have a crush: yes.
[ .188. ] do you love anyone right now: yes
[ .189. ] have you ever been in love: i don't think so.
[ .190. ] how many people have you kissed: two.
[ .191. ] who was your first kiss: taylor.
[ .192. ] how many hearts have you broken: not many, if any at all.
[ .193. ] how many people broke your heart: too many.
[ .194. ] best quote to sum up love: love is hard.
[ .195. ] so what is your bf/gf like: -
[ .196. ] do you have a picture of him/her: -
[ .198. ] do you have a picture of yourself: yes
[ .200. ] do you go by looks or personality: personality mainly, but good looks are a plus. im not shallow, just honest. -->agreed.
[ .201. ] ever kiss a friend: considering neither of them ended up being more than a friend, yes.
[ .202. ] are you still friends: no.
[ .203. ] so moving along..do you smoke: no.
[ .204. ] do you smoke weed: no.
[ .205. ] ever trip on acid: no,
[ .206. ] how about a little x: no.
[ .207. ] crack, heroin, anything else: no.
[ .208. ] beer good or beer bad: gross.
[ .209. ] are you the sissy who drinks wine coolers: robb nastal is :[
[ .210. ] do you like smirnoff ice: yes, but haven't had it in a long time.
[ .211. ] prefer beer or liquor: neither
[ .212. ] what kind of cigarettes do you smoke: none.
[ .213. ] are you a virgin: yes.
[ .214. ] if no, when was the last time you got some: never.
: Would you ever :
[ .215. ] bungee jump: yes.
[ .216. ] sky dive: yes.
[ .217. ] swim with dolphins: yes.
[ .218. ] scuba dive: i have.
[ .219. ] rock climbing: yes.
[ .220. ] eat shit for $1,000,000: i don't know...
[ .221. ] turn your back on your friends for personal gain: no.
[ .222. ] steal a friend's boyfriend/girlfriend: no.
[ .223. ] cross-dress: not seriously.
[ .224. ] lie to the police: i don't know?
[ .225. ] run from the police: i don't know?
[ .226. ] lie to your parents: yes.
[ .227. ] walk up to a stranger and kiss them: no.
[ .229. ] walk out of a restaurant without paying: i've never had to, so i don't know.
[ .230. ] streak: probably.
: Your friends :
[ .231. ] best friend: corri & anna & kelly & jess & jack & jessie.
[ .232. ] known longest: out of them? anna & corri & jessie.
[ .233. ] wish you talked to more: alex.
[ .234. ] wish you saw more: corri & anna. kelly. alex. jessie.
[ .235. ] how many friends do you think you have: enough.
[ .236. ] who drives you insane after a while: anyone can get to me eventually.
[ .237. ] who can you stay around forever and never get sick of: corri, anna, kelly, jack, jess, jessie, ari. most, if not all of my good friends.
[ .238. ] ever lose a friend because you took it to the 'next level': no
[ .243. ] can always make you laugh: most of them.
[ .248. ] hot tempered: me, corri & anna.
[ .249. ] smartest: corri & kelly.
[ .250. ] shortest: brittaney
[ .251. ] tallest: jack
[ .254. ] skinniest:anna
[ .255. ] nicest: all of them
[ .256. ] best personality: all.
[ .257. ] biggest drug user: justin. but he only smokes pot.
: Have you ever :
[ .258. ] flashed someone: "BBBRREEEAAASSTTTSSS" hahahhaa.
[ .259. ] told the person you liked how you felt: yeah, recently.
[ .260. ] been to Oklahoma: no?
[ .261. ] gotten really REALLY wasted: no
[ .262. ] gone to jail or juvi: never
[ .263. ] skate boarded: yes, & failed miserably.
[ .264. ] skinny dipped: mmhmm.
[ .265. ] stolen anything: yeahhh.
[ .266. ] wanted to kick my ass for making this so long: IMA BEATCHU
[ .267. ] kicked someone's ass: playfully.
[ .268. ] pegged someone in the head with a snowball: yes
[ .269. ] broke a beer bottle: yeah. i wasn't drinking it, though.
[ .270. ] gotten into a bar, under-aged: dunno.
[ .271. ] kissed someone of the same sex: on the cheak.
[ .272. ] flipped someone off: yes.
[ .273. ] gone on a road trip: another thing that shall happen this summer.--> YEAH, IT BETTER MIZZ.
[ .274. ] gone on vacation without adult supervision: most of the time in europe we were without supervision.
[ .275. ] been to a concert: yep.
[ .276. ] been to another country: canada & italy & greece.
[ .277. ] talked back to an adult: yeah, haha.
[ .278. ] got pulled over: with someone else, yes.
[ .279. ] got in a car accident: yeah.
[ .280. ] broke a law: yes.
[ .281. ] given money to a homeless person: i don't know. maybe.
[ .282. ] tried to kill yourself: no.
[ .283. ] cried to get out of trouble: probably.
[ .284. ] kissed a friend's brother or sister: no.
[ .285. ] kissed a brother or sister's friend: no.
[ .286. ] dropped something on the floor that you were cooking and let someone eat it anyways: probably.
: Thoughts :
[ .287. ] what do you think...about pop music: whaas long as it's really them, whatev.
[ .288. ] about boy bands: the non-existent ones, you mean?
[ .289. ] about flag burning: nmsdfk
[ .290. ] of the war on terrorists: not getting into it.
[ .291. ] about suicide: tragic.
[ .292. ] about people who try to force their opinions on you: doesn't work.
[ .293. ] about abortion: im pro choice. when teenage sluts get knocked up then i think they should just go ahead & have the baby & suffer. if you were raped or a victim of incest or something severe like that, then OF COURSE you should have the choice of having an abortion. --> agreed.
[ .294. ] about rock/metal music: fine with me.
[ .295. ] where do you think you'll be in 10 years: hopefully in love & successfully doing something with art.
[ .296. ] who do you think you'll still be friends with in 5 years: my best friends as of right now, i hope.
: What did you do :
[ .297. ] last birthday: i don't remember.
[.298. ] yesterday: i'm too lazy to think back.
[ .299. ] last weekend: hung out with anna & corri. then kelly. then jack & jess.
[ .300. ] Christmas: opened presents. ate. spent time with family.
[ .301. ] Thanksgiving: ate. spent time with family.
[ .302. ] new year's eve: i don't remember where i was.
[ .303. ] Halloween: out with kelly, jessie, jessi, & leandra
[ .304. ] Easter: family.
[ .305. ] valentine's day: something gay.
: The last :
[ .306. ] thing you ate: pee-pee freeze!
[ .307. ] thing you drank: coke.
[ .308. ] thing you wore: paper denim & cloth jeans, thrifted polo, black zip up hoodie, roots track jacket.
[ .309. ] place you went: pee-pee freeze!
[ .310. ] thing you got pierced/tattooed: i pierced my second holes.
[ .311. ] person you saw: anna & corri
[ .312. ] person you kissed: george.
[ .313. ] person you fucked: no one
[ .314. ] person you talked to: on aim, kelly.
[ .315. ] song you heard: slow hands by interpol.
: Now :
[ .316. ] what are you eating: nothing.
[ .317. ] what are you drinking: watered-down coke.
[ .318. ] what are you wearing: paper denim & cloth jeans, thrifted polo, black zip up hoodie, roots track jacket.
[ .319. ] any shoes on: white k-mart slip ons.
[ .320. ] hair: down & straight.
[ .321. ] listening to: interpol.
[ .322. ] talking to anyone: no
[ .323. ] are you pissed i made this so long: no, i'm bored.
: Yes or no :
[ .324. ] are you a vegetarian: i was.
[ .325. ] do you like cows: yes
[ .326. ] are you a bitch: i can be.
[ .327. ] are you artistic: yes.
[ .328. ] do you write poetry: yes.
[ .329. ] are you a fast runner: long distances, no.
[ .330. ] can you ski: yes.
[ .331. ] are you British: no.
[ .332. ] do you want to spear britney: i wouldn't go that far
[ .333. ] do the voices talk to you: they are right now dood
[. 334. ] ever give barbie a hair cut: i've done more than that
[ .335. ] would you eat mac & cheese with hot dogs in it: that sounds kinda gross.
[ .336. ] do you think disney creators were on acid when they made 'alice in wonderland': yeah, probably.
[ .337. ] are you straight: yes.
[ .338. ] are you stupid, insane, or physically handicapped: not legally.
[ .339. ] are you fat: not really
[ .340. ] are you skinny: no
[ .341. ] are you short: i think so.
[ .342. ] are you tall: no
[ .343. ] do you own a hot pink shirt: yes
[ .344. ] how about orange pants: no.
[ .345. ] can you see the flying monkeys: no...
[ .346. ] are you evil: 666 SATAN 666 IF IM 555 THEN YR 666.
[ .347. ] did you ever know someone who had a mullet: i don't believe so.
[ .348. ] is britney a whore: if she is, then good for her. i wouldn't know. i don't know her personally.
[ .349. ] are you a teenage zombie: YEAH DOOD
[ .350. ] am i annoying you: considering i don't know who "you" are...
[ .351. ] do you like marilyn manson: THE BEAUTIFUL PIGEONS
[ .352. ] are you secretly from another planet: ARE YOU GAY
[ .354. ] do you shop at hot topic: to get plugs, but that's about it. oh, and my sweet bondage pantz + nightmare befo xmas shurtz l0lz
: Random questions :
[ .355. ] if you could be any animal, what would you be: robb nastal
[ .356. ] if you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be: peirogis
[ .357. ] do you remember any of your dreams: sometimes.
[ .358. ] do you dream in color or black and white: i think color, but i really don't know.
[ .359. ] do you admit when you need help with a problem: yeah, i guess.
[ .360. ] can people read you like a book: no, definitely not.
[ .361. ] what's your biggest fear: loss. death.
[ .362. ] do you talk a lot: depends.
[ .363. ] are you afraid of clowns: not really.
[ .364. ] do you like spiders: no.
[ .365. ] how about grape kool-aid: iamsf9m
[ .366. ] can you drive: yes, but not legally.
[ .367. ] are you spoiled: no
[ .368. ] are you anti-social: when my mood permits
[ .369. ] do you see dumb people: tons.
[ .370. ] do you see dead people: i got duh sixzth sense.
[ .371. ] any last words: orangina
[ .372. ] time: 5:24
[ .373. ] now that this is over, what are you going to do: go to voice.
on a lighter note, bane in twelve days !!