Dreams are where ghosts live; the powerlessness of night lifts the veil between past and present, allowing them to find me again. Darkness reveals truth, and here I cannot hide
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Strong writing and enjoyable to read, even if I am a bit lost. I know quick refresher through your journal would create clarity or reminder for me.
May I suggest a pop-culture reference fix though? instead finding a way to change my name... it should be "trying to decide on my new name before everything disappears" Making you both The Princess and Bastion at once, which is a wonderful thought.
Oh I thought maybe there was something here I should be more clear on. Since not, then... okay. A second reading also makes things much clearer and stronger.
Perhaps I've been reading too much Anne Bishop lately (don't judge me) but I had a hard time connecting this to anything based in reality. It seems to be reaching from some baseline that the reader isn't aware of. If I need to go back and read to clarify lemme know...
The topic was ghosts, and I was trying to relay two incidents that haunt me still...two of many. I had dash marks between each incident...are they not showing??
I think I get the references and what happens. Maybe the time skips are confusing people. You're four, then you're 13, and then it's present day (I think). This entry is so personal (fictional or not) that I hesitate to suggest anything. It was visceral for me as it is.
The second half was painful to read, but in the way that you meant it to be. I don't think you need to edit the Neverending Story reference; that really hit me in the gut. This is strong, eerie, and powerful, and I'll be voting for it.
This is brilliant. Flowing, and just really just perfect. I wish I could come up with a better way of putting it, but I couldn't even imagine a better way that you could have written this. love it. :)
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May I suggest a pop-culture reference fix though? instead finding a way to change my name... it should be "trying to decide on my new name before everything disappears" Making you both The Princess and Bastion at once, which is a wonderful thought.
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Thanks for the tips, and thanks for reading.
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I think I get the references and what happens. Maybe the time skips are confusing people. You're four, then you're 13, and then it's present day (I think). This entry is so personal (fictional or not) that I hesitate to suggest anything. It was visceral for me as it is.
~*~
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The second half was painful to read, but in the way that you meant it to be. I don't think you need to edit the Neverending Story reference; that really hit me in the gut. This is strong, eerie, and powerful, and I'll be voting for it.
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