(no subject)
The lecture starts and he turns his head away from me. On stage a man about my age starts telling his life fucking story . He dranksome beer and smoked some pot as a kid and got sober when he was fourteen. He joined AA and found a higher power and it changed his life. He got streight A's in a high school and went to Harvard. Now he is an investment banker and hes engaged to be married. He still goes to meetinds and places all trust in his higher power, and he gets down on his knees every night and he prays before he goes to bed. As he speaks he refers to pot as grass and beer as brew. He talks about having the spins and taking a flask to a hugh school dance. He talks about the guilt and shame he felt in committing these acts.
I do not relate to this man in any way whatso ever. i do not relate to drinking brew and smoking grass and hte spins and a sip from a flask. i do not connect to these things to any sort of true and dangerous addiction. i do not connect these things to any sort of need for recovery. i suspectthis man would have joined a twelve stip group had he felt he was wathcing too much television or eating too many hotdogs or playing too much space invaders. i suspect that had he not found the twelve stips, he would have found the jehovas witness or the pentecoastal christians or the hassidim or the UFO redemption group. i suspect that his membership to the AA doesnt have anything to do with "grass" and "brew" or any sort of addiction to them, but to a desperate need to belong to somthing.
belonging is not somthing