(no subject)
Yesterday I spent around 4 hours with your beautiful baby and I love her so much. She looks so much like you Nicole. The way she smiles, the faces she makes, her hair. Everything. She's just as beautiful as you were. She's smiling more and more everyday. I remember when you said you were so scared about her starting to cry real tears, so am I.
I know how happy it makes you too, the love we shared for Mia was amazing. I've hated kids my whole life until I met your beautiful child, from the second she was born. I love her even more now because she's all I have of you.
I can't even explain the way it makes me feel not to have you here. I have great friends but no one will could ever be friends like we were. The girl that would be here within minutes if I need her. The girl that I would spend 43423424 hours in Wal-Mart, Target, or even fucking Race Trac.
We were goofy asses who found humor in the stupidest places. We were always laughing together. We thought the same things at the same times and I know there's plenty of times where I told you to get out of my head.
We shared some of the most incredibly moments together and I'll never forget them. I wish there was a way to let you know how really grateful I am for being able to do so.
It's a sad day when you can relate to a Master P song, but seriously dude...
"I keep my memories, try to keep my head strong
But baby it's hard to be strong, when yo main homie gone"
"Even though you gone away
(Even though you gone, you ain't never gon be forgotten)
I know you in a better place
(Cause as long as I'm here
You gon live through me and other TRU playas)
I really miss my homies
Even though they gone away
I know you in a better place
And I hope to see ya soon someday"
"
I pray for you, I'm glad you in a better place
I hope I see ya soon, ain't no more killin
Ain't no more fights, and ain't no more tears"
Nicole, it is amazing how many people you have effected with your leaving. I really hope you know how truly you were loved, your family and friends. Even people that didn't know you are reaching out to embrace your beautiful daughter. She has so much love, so many people around, and I am so happy for that.
Nicole, I'm not a religious person, you know that. I never have been. I pray everyday. I don't know who I am talking to. I don't know who is listening, but I do it anyways. I pray for you Nicole. I pray for Mia. I hope you hear me.
I also hope you hear all of the ridiculous shit Stephanie and I say. We're constantly saying "dude, Nicole would have cracked up over that" or "Nicole would have loved that."
Honestly, how could it be, somebody took my boy from me. My best friend's gone and I'm so alllllllllll alone. I really missssss my homiessssss, evne though you've gone away I know you're in a better place.
