speechles...
i'm so lost in words right now. i don't even know where to begin or what to say. actually, i have lots to say but i don't know how to put it together for you guys to understand. i'm sure the ones who've known joel and matt know what i'm trying to say. especially you brittany because joel was your best friend and i know he's not replaceable and i wish i can hug you or say the right words to comfort you. i don't know what it'd be like if i lost my best friend. i'd feel as if my life would be so pointless. gosh i wish i can hug everyone who is mourning and cry or do something. most of all i wish i can bring those boys back to life so everyone can be happy but i know for sure that is impossible. this has been the roughest weekend ever. it was matt's visitation and funeral yesterday. joel's visitation as well was yesterday and an open casket. i was hoping he'd open his eyes and sit up and be like SIKE FOOLS I'M NOT DEAD DEAD..GET IN THE KITCHEN AND MAKE ME A SANDWICH BITCH! but nope it didn't happen. i think it sort of hit me today at his funeral. seeing his father cry and saying good bye to his son while touching his coffin. parent's aren't suppose to attend their child's funeral...it's suppose to be the other way around you know. gosh, i can't even imagine what their families are going through. like brittany, i'm so angry because all of this is so unfair. they were freak'n 17...WTF!?!? this is all so unreal. i want to smack my face and hope that i'd wake up from this awful nightmare. i'm sorry for just going on and on about this but i just wish i knew what the reason for all of this is. ...
"Shaggy hair, aviator glasses, that infectious laugh. This is the way we knew you Joel, the way we loved you. The way you made us smile, the fun times we shared with you. You were such a good friend, a loving brother, a giving Spirit. You were smart beyond your years and talented at so many things. We will remember you as happy and fun because we know that is what you would want. We will keep you in our hearts and know you are with us always. We will miss you so very much. Know you were and will continue to be greatly loved. Bless us with your smiles through the sun, your laughs through the breeze, and your love through our lives. Be at peace Joel, with the angels."
Joel Tahash and Matthew Carter, you two will always be remembered, loved, and greatly missed. We will see each other sometime in the future.