(no subject)
I guess in a time of absolute solice, boredom, and starting of your montly cycle your world is open to multiple emotions. Sorrow being one of them. To lose a best friend once is hard, i remember back when i was 5 years old and my neighbor jessi moved away, i thought i would never move on. And for years and years i would dial her phone number on my pretend barbie phone and once and a while in real life. One day i called her number expecting to hear the voice of her evil mom diane, and it was just a recording telling me the number was no longer in service. I cried alot after that. Ya i've grown up and experienced alot of trials and tribulations since, but its the same thing. I know that since we're older now we can make visits and trips to see eachother, long distance phone calls and online conversations, but everyone out there knows it isnt the same. It was more concellation to be able to just walk down the street whenever you were having a hard day and it felt a hell of alot better to recieve a hug than just a friendly word or computer generated smile. I guess the first time that you left wasnt that bad, I didnt have to say good bye and i got a phone call mid-trip. And i could just block it out and pretend that you were grounded or sick and your mom wouldn't let you come out. I drove by your house yesterday and i saw your yellow bike, i used to look for that bike everyday as a sign of whether or not you were home. It broke my heart to see it wedged in between some random boxes and other miscelanious trash. Well this time, i took pictures, and i said i prepared myself for you leaving again. But i know that these visits will become less frequent and then pretty soon they will stop all together. And even though the visits stop, and you change your screen name, and the witty texts stop coming my way, doesn't for a second mean i could ever stop loving you. Hopefully, like you said, the OC will stay forever in your mind, and if its because you got alot of pussy while you were here, then more power to you. I just thought i would let you know that Florida will never provide you with the Loving bonds and good times that the OC did. And That Champine park will always be ours no matter if its rennovated and replaced with a shopping mall. Everyone can miss you and everyone can have their little things that remind them of you. You can tell them you love them that you need them and that you'll be "home" soon But just know, i'm not everyone, i'm britney marcell, and i'm already missing you. bye bill.