so im going to pick this up again
i stopped internet blogging for a while because i thought i'de be more honest with myself and get more of a routine if i started journaling on paper. and it works, but im so scatterbrained, this is almost easier because ten fingers move faster than one pen, to put it simply. i'm slowly getting my eating habits back in order. i went to the gym today. i barely did anything but at least i did something. i'm gonna go again tomorrow morning and do a little bit of cardio at least. maybe some abs. we'll see what im up for. i am bound and determined to lose the last of this weight. it really wont be that bad. alot of the foods i love to eat are healthy foods, it just the struggle of fighting temptation when i want to eat things that are really bad for me. cutting out pop is usually not too hard. cutting oil and fat here and there. every little bit counts, and small changes work better than huge, drastic, extreme changes. bit by bit i can make it happen and voila i'm closer to where i want to be.
looking through this last night and seeing how many of my goals i really did accomplish makes me feel so awesome. and i didnt even know i was doing some of them. i want to quit smoking too, at least cut that down bit by bit. i've only had 2 today... i'll allow myself 2 more. 4 is much better than 20 a day. i guess my father's quit smoking, and my brother wants to and wants me to too. so we'll all be in it together. i know its something i must inevitably do. better now than never. im really excited for the spring when the weather is nice and i can go to the monument and do the stairs in the morning or price park in the afternoon and have a walk. i think i get distracted by so many people at the gym i want to talk to and being in such a confined space.. and the machines get a little monotonous. but, i signed up for 3 years so i'll keep going every once in a while to get a quick jog in or something.
news flash; file under: epiphany.
the past is gone. it's over. it's never coming back. its ok to be nostalgic and reminisce about the past but when it comes down to it you either have to live for right now or for the future, you must grow. you must change, you must adapt and learn and it's a lot easier if you're excited to do so. and i finally think i am. the past was absolutely wonderful. i think i've had an amazing life. lots of up and lots and lots of downs, but that's what life is.
in the process of switching my focus from the past to the future i feel like i want to do everything i can to avoid the hardships i've been through before, and protect myself. but that's just silly. the only way i can really embrace the future is to go at it full force and give myself room to fuck up sometimes. because it's got to happen. so i guess the plan is to set some goals, be more adventurous, learn as much as possible, and TAKE SOME FUCKING RISKS! as much as i don't want to, and believe me, i dont. i have to do it. and i'll do it, and things will either be awesome and i'll have more than ever to be thankful for, or it will crash and burn in my face. either way i took a risk, and i'll be better for it no matter the outcome.
looking through this last night and seeing how many of my goals i really did accomplish makes me feel so awesome. and i didnt even know i was doing some of them. i want to quit smoking too, at least cut that down bit by bit. i've only had 2 today... i'll allow myself 2 more. 4 is much better than 20 a day. i guess my father's quit smoking, and my brother wants to and wants me to too. so we'll all be in it together. i know its something i must inevitably do. better now than never. im really excited for the spring when the weather is nice and i can go to the monument and do the stairs in the morning or price park in the afternoon and have a walk. i think i get distracted by so many people at the gym i want to talk to and being in such a confined space.. and the machines get a little monotonous. but, i signed up for 3 years so i'll keep going every once in a while to get a quick jog in or something.
news flash; file under: epiphany.
the past is gone. it's over. it's never coming back. its ok to be nostalgic and reminisce about the past but when it comes down to it you either have to live for right now or for the future, you must grow. you must change, you must adapt and learn and it's a lot easier if you're excited to do so. and i finally think i am. the past was absolutely wonderful. i think i've had an amazing life. lots of up and lots and lots of downs, but that's what life is.
in the process of switching my focus from the past to the future i feel like i want to do everything i can to avoid the hardships i've been through before, and protect myself. but that's just silly. the only way i can really embrace the future is to go at it full force and give myself room to fuck up sometimes. because it's got to happen. so i guess the plan is to set some goals, be more adventurous, learn as much as possible, and TAKE SOME FUCKING RISKS! as much as i don't want to, and believe me, i dont. i have to do it. and i'll do it, and things will either be awesome and i'll have more than ever to be thankful for, or it will crash and burn in my face. either way i took a risk, and i'll be better for it no matter the outcome.