(no subject)
It’s been awhile since I’ve update about my life. There has been a lot going on, time seems to race by me so fast.
Elisa and Sean visited last week and we had a blast. It was so great to see my BFFs. It’s funny how comfortable I am around them, it was nice to just “be” for a while. This week has been weird. I think most of it is because my best friends aren’t around anymore. I don’t feel connected to anyone, mainly because I’m not as connected with the people here as I am with Elisa and Sean. Whatever the reason is, it’s been annoying.
It might also be due to the fact that I told Matt that I’m moving out. I can’t live with him anymore, our lifestyles are way too different and I can’t take it anymore. I didn’t tell him that, I told him it was for financial reasons which he didn’t believe. Ugh. I guess I’m just going to tell him the real reasons tonight. This is harder than I thought it would be. It’s giving me insane amounts of anxiety, to the point where I’m not sleeping anymore. There is something wrong with me! I’m so anxious now. Ugh. I can’t focus on anything either and I have SO MUCH work to do. O my god, so much to do. It’s hard too because I don’t even really like what I’m doing. This anxiety thing is super annoying though, let me tell you. I can’t relax!
The boy situation is just awkward and weird now. Dave (I know…right?) worked an insane amount this month, working on a campaign, so I rarely got to see him. O yea, did I mention I blacked out and decided to very explicitly tell him everything that had been bothering me? Yea…go me. So we’ve hung out since then and it’s been nice, I’m just not sure what’s going to happen now that the campaign is over. Are we going to be like we were before his life went insane (ideal) or will we stay distanced and let it die? Who knows. Go figure, my life is up in the air. It’s funny because when I have stability, I get nervous and create instability because it’s exciting to me, but then when everything seems to be unstable I just want something to hold on to. And my stability left on Monday .
I’m in a weird place. My VISTA retreat is next week and I couldn’t be more excited. I love those women, they ground me. Maybe I should get together with one of them this week…
Elisa and Sean visited last week and we had a blast. It was so great to see my BFFs. It’s funny how comfortable I am around them, it was nice to just “be” for a while. This week has been weird. I think most of it is because my best friends aren’t around anymore. I don’t feel connected to anyone, mainly because I’m not as connected with the people here as I am with Elisa and Sean. Whatever the reason is, it’s been annoying.
It might also be due to the fact that I told Matt that I’m moving out. I can’t live with him anymore, our lifestyles are way too different and I can’t take it anymore. I didn’t tell him that, I told him it was for financial reasons which he didn’t believe. Ugh. I guess I’m just going to tell him the real reasons tonight. This is harder than I thought it would be. It’s giving me insane amounts of anxiety, to the point where I’m not sleeping anymore. There is something wrong with me! I’m so anxious now. Ugh. I can’t focus on anything either and I have SO MUCH work to do. O my god, so much to do. It’s hard too because I don’t even really like what I’m doing. This anxiety thing is super annoying though, let me tell you. I can’t relax!
The boy situation is just awkward and weird now. Dave (I know…right?) worked an insane amount this month, working on a campaign, so I rarely got to see him. O yea, did I mention I blacked out and decided to very explicitly tell him everything that had been bothering me? Yea…go me. So we’ve hung out since then and it’s been nice, I’m just not sure what’s going to happen now that the campaign is over. Are we going to be like we were before his life went insane (ideal) or will we stay distanced and let it die? Who knows. Go figure, my life is up in the air. It’s funny because when I have stability, I get nervous and create instability because it’s exciting to me, but then when everything seems to be unstable I just want something to hold on to. And my stability left on Monday .
I’m in a weird place. My VISTA retreat is next week and I couldn’t be more excited. I love those women, they ground me. Maybe I should get together with one of them this week…