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hEyHEyBeautIfuls ;)
let's see, don't quite remember too much of what has been happening lately. but, saturday i went to heathers. walked up to Bk w/ her lil bro&sis, too cute. got honked at, barked at, whatever you can possibly think of ;) while pushing two strollers, wicked i know. ended up crashing there for the night & almost getting our asses in trouble but we're too slick for that. mhmm, i love her& i missed her. left heathers around 12-ish on sunday came home showered & cleaned. meredith&adam made us dinner & dessert & then hung out w/ ray for the rest of the night<3 monday- definitely slept all day & finally got around to showering around 4-ish becauz of those damn construction guys =\ scrubbed all day then watched napolean dynamite w/ adam andrew meredith & ray. tuesday went to the dentist & out to lunch & of course bummed around w/ my baby till practice @7:30 then watched realworld which definitely made me bawl my eyes out, yeap i'm lame & yet also made me think about a lot of things which i will vent about ina little, so im warning you.. don't read it if you're just gonna bitch at me. today went to harsens island, ah it's so gorgeous. layed out-swam,jet skiied ;)- & drove the golf cart everywhere lmao. i wish i could live on the water, live it up you know. go out on the jet skii's all day w/ a buncha cool kidds.. it'd be relaxing & nice. my parentals are thinking about it when i'm done w/ highschool but like that does me any good right? came home & ordered jets & definitely had game night w/ the family. dominated in the first game w/ the parentals & then em&madre killed adam&dad in the second w/ my slick strategies, lmao. quite funny.
alright time to vent & if you don't like it don't read it.. it's my journal & i have the right to speak my mind. kthx =)
- after watching realworld i've realized so many different things. one being that i'm a total bitch towards my mom&dad =\ and really they do so much for me & they could both be gone before i know it. which is totally mind blowing. it's just i don't do much around here and i expect it all. how much more selfish can i get, literally. & i'm just realizing it now.. i ask for so much & in return give so little. i love them i really do even if i rarely show it. i wouldn't be where i am in this world if it wasn't for both of em - especially soccer. ergh, i have it so much better than a lot of people and i just treat it like some joke & ask for more. i just can't believe myself & i was told "parents are replacable" which is completly true and i really need to show that i care more often.
-- another thing.. i'm so incredibly mean to my brother. holyshit i guess i just wish he was normal like any other 18 yr. old. but he's not and i can't change it. my brother is mentally impaired.. so really he acts like a 10 yr. old mentally&physically or yet even younger. it's so hard to live w/ him. he's always nagging you & touching you constantly. he's weird - he walks around w/ a cape on w/ headphones & dances to michael jackson or some old girly music & sings like crazy outside, i'm so embarrased. but it's andrew, that's who he is & i really have to respect that. he's by far the most loving person you'll ever meet in your life which some of you may already know. he doesn't care what people think about him unlike me. he loves eating & his some tall stick boy w/ bones sticking out everywhere outta his body, damn him lol. he's an amazing person & really i just don't see it. i'd rather make fun of him & yell at him or say i hate you when he says "i love you allison" he's always there to look out for me "allison, make good choices" and will always love me no matter what. i just honestly wish i could be the lovable person he was and not treat him like i do. i try - so much & i know it's hard to see. but honestly if you lived w/ him you would know. he's not like an everyday bother, he's not like adam. but i love him, i truly do and really i just wish he would know that.
--- i miss my bestfriends. heck i don't even know if i can call them that anymore.. ever since mine&sammys little brawl it's been different. it's like i lost my favorite bestfriend in the world. she means so much to me & i hate it. because people can't seem to mind their own damn business. we never hang out anymore & i never hang out w/ the sa7 or any of us. it's not the same. me&sammy used to b such badasses it was insane[well we thought of ourselves like that, muhaha] & now it's entirely different. it's just like losing maddie all over again. although i know technically i've never lost it but it sure as hell seems like it. && holy fuck it's because of the same jackass who seems to think he can ruin my live, and ohgee he's pretty damn good at it. first maddie now sammy & next my whole soccer team. which will end up happening i'm sure of because i suck. but seriously i love sammy & i can't picture life w/out her. she's so amazing and is always there for me but it just seems like it's not there anymore. & maddie i fucking miss like no other =( ever since not being on the gators it's gone downhill & it sucks. i love those 2 girls w/ all my heart - they are my life. & it seems like i've lost a big part of em but i'll never forget them and they will always be in my heart.
okay seeing as all this makes me bawl i'm gonna stop & not let out anymore because all this does is make me bitchier+ even more sad.
i just suck @ life
K. thxgooodbye