(no subject)
I feel kinda gross and girly. Someone wants to be naughty with me and was really overt about it.
I like tricking myself into believing that the situation is accidental- that works- but overt statements and offerings, there's something so unappealing and desperate about them. I've been flashing back as of late to when I would be really unhappy with Xoei and she would ask me over and over again 'just lie to me, please lie to me.' I really want the lies, yo. maybe that's why m is silent about my feelings. she knows that entertaining my own lies is healthier than disrupting me with the actuality.
I like tricking myself into believing that the situation is accidental- that works- but overt statements and offerings, there's something so unappealing and desperate about them. I've been flashing back as of late to when I would be really unhappy with Xoei and she would ask me over and over again 'just lie to me, please lie to me.' I really want the lies, yo. maybe that's why m is silent about my feelings. she knows that entertaining my own lies is healthier than disrupting me with the actuality.