I hope you find your will to follow through.
If only I could embrace my feelings, and emotions long enough to accept them, fully understand them, and comprehend why I have them.
Although, I don't think I want to understand.
Understanding would mean I'd have nothing to protect me.
And even letting somebody else understand would make me vulnerable.
Why am I scared of this?
maybe I'm just comfortable hiding behind my complexity.
Here, I dont have to explain.
I dont even have to know.
I have a reason.
A reason not to get close.
I have a reason not to let anybody in my life.
the only reason tho, is one I can't decipher.
If I could, I would. really.