I can stare for days...
I feel so incredibly alone. The more people that surround me, the more meaningless words I speak to people who mean nothing to me- the more alone I feel.
I could talk about it for days, but it doesnt make me feel better.
The worst part is I'm not actually alone. I have 17,999 people around me every day. I live with someone, most of the week. I have the ability to call anyone in my cell.
But sometimes I don't want to talk and I couldnt fathom who'd want to listen. Who can understand? Do I think I'm just too complex, as though no one could comprehend what I feel or think?
And I look at myself in pictures, and see the memories captured forever. I just can't remember if I actually felt as genuinely happy as I look. Have I mastered fooling everyone so greatly that I've fooled myself? Is it bad to live under false happiness?
I'm pretty much good until the noise stops. When the noise stops, all I hear is my heart beat. It's surreal. All I think is how painful the silence is.
this is the real me though, I don't fake a smile for anyone here. I don't pass through life, I'm active. But I'm still unhappy all alone at night. Maybe I can't stand myself.
I could talk about it for days, but it doesnt make me feel better.
The worst part is I'm not actually alone. I have 17,999 people around me every day. I live with someone, most of the week. I have the ability to call anyone in my cell.
But sometimes I don't want to talk and I couldnt fathom who'd want to listen. Who can understand? Do I think I'm just too complex, as though no one could comprehend what I feel or think?
And I look at myself in pictures, and see the memories captured forever. I just can't remember if I actually felt as genuinely happy as I look. Have I mastered fooling everyone so greatly that I've fooled myself? Is it bad to live under false happiness?
I'm pretty much good until the noise stops. When the noise stops, all I hear is my heart beat. It's surreal. All I think is how painful the silence is.
this is the real me though, I don't fake a smile for anyone here. I don't pass through life, I'm active. But I'm still unhappy all alone at night. Maybe I can't stand myself.