(no subject)
I'm soooooo stupid.
I had a great time on Friday. It was mine and my friends birthday party and I got... really, no really really, trashed. I go online, around 2am, and I IM 'him' who I haven't talked to in a year and I'm sure I said something really stupid but I blocked him afterwards. So at least I was somewhat smart.
So I check on another screen name because I'm a stalker and he use to have the "block everyone except on your buddy list" (i know this because he has 324324 screen names) and he showed up on my main one, but not on the secret one. BUT now he does show. And he hasn't signed off since i left the message which is really weird for him. But he didn't e-mail me like i asked. I know I asked. That's about all I know about what I said.
And I'm sooo scared to unblock him. I'm happy that I IMed him though. I just wish I was sober. Because now I'll know once and for all and I can finally let go if he doesn't do anything. Because then I know nothing is there for him any more. No friendship, anything.
That's if... I unblock him.
I'm soooooooo stupid.
[[edit: see, i don't even remember the entry I made before this one... thats how bad i was... i just saw it now when i went to 'recent'. i'm sooooooo stupid]]
I had a great time on Friday. It was mine and my friends birthday party and I got... really, no really really, trashed. I go online, around 2am, and I IM 'him' who I haven't talked to in a year and I'm sure I said something really stupid but I blocked him afterwards. So at least I was somewhat smart.
So I check on another screen name because I'm a stalker and he use to have the "block everyone except on your buddy list" (i know this because he has 324324 screen names) and he showed up on my main one, but not on the secret one. BUT now he does show. And he hasn't signed off since i left the message which is really weird for him. But he didn't e-mail me like i asked. I know I asked. That's about all I know about what I said.
And I'm sooo scared to unblock him. I'm happy that I IMed him though. I just wish I was sober. Because now I'll know once and for all and I can finally let go if he doesn't do anything. Because then I know nothing is there for him any more. No friendship, anything.
That's if... I unblock him.
I'm soooooooo stupid.
[[edit: see, i don't even remember the entry I made before this one... thats how bad i was... i just saw it now when i went to 'recent'. i'm sooooooo stupid]]