reeead me.
so last year as a couple of you might know, my dad was really considering moving to colorado. this was when my mom's cancer started to get really bad again and the doctors said that she wouldn't be able to make the move. i was really upset, but it wasn't as bad since i hadn't formed the friendships that i have now. well tonight my dad got back from 'business' in colorado and took my sister and i out to dinner (which is a rare thing?). so we order and stuff and i'm sitting there coloring on the kids menu and he goes, "hey, i have a question for the both of you." i thought it was going to be some kind of stupid question that he always asks, but pretends it's serious. i was in the best mood and go, " OKKKK SHOOT!" then worst thing ever, "what do you guys think about moving to colorado." deja-vu? same as last year, same restaurant, same way he put it. i laughed and said you're kidding me. then he went into an in depth conversation about it.
he's always dreamed about living in colorado, who knows why? it's SO cold and he weighs 40 lbs. he's been talking back and forth with a bunch of people out there trying to arrange an interview and they're really interested in him. :[. he says that he needs a change, he needs things to be fresh again and he wants his happy family back. it's too hard for him to sleep in the same room that my mom died in, it's too hard for him to see his daughters moping around, and now that my mom has passed away there's nothing that's keeping him here.
i can't even imagine, i don't know what he's thinking. i was bawling at dinner and he still went on with his big plans and dreams. what about mine? i just started high school, i have some of the greatest friends with some of the greatest bonds and i'm not willing to give that stuff up. i don't mean to sound selfish, i know he's unhappy, but moving 800 miles away doesn't solve anything?
i was thinking about it in the car ride home and it makes me so sick to my stomach thinking about leaving everyone. this isn't even close to how england was, i knew i was coming home in two years when i left. and i only had one good friend, meghan. now i have so many people that i love to death, the only people that really helped me through the loss of my mom, my dad didn't even comfort me.
rio moncrief one of my absolute best friends ever, she puts up with so much crap from people, as well as people at home. she's so funny when she's mad, and the only girl that actually understands every single one of my moods, she knows when i've been crying, she knows when something good has happened to me. she knows the right times to bring things up. she's the only person that comes to my house EVERY SINGLE time i'm feeling bad, she's just a miracle friend and i wouldn't survive waking up every morning knowing that i'd actually get to school ON TIME. i'd miss my phone calls to her 4 minutes before school starts telling her to hurry up because we were going to be late. abby green dhfbshgbhgbdf my inner lipping british beauty. i wouldn't be able to survive without this girl. when i think my days can't get any worse she ALWAYS makes me smile. she's the best friend i could ever ask for. the way she gets freaked out whenever anyone touches her chin, the way we spoon haha. wjghfdherr i'll never spoon with anyone else in my life. i envy her family and how close they come off to be. sure there's off and on's but that's normal in families. just how she randomly texts me and tells me she loves me makes my day so much better. leanne daly wooww this woman, one of my first ever friends when i moved back. we used to pass notes in this little plastic dinosaur. i've created some of my fondest memories with her and i cherish every single minute. sure she really pisses me off in the mornings when she makes little noises with her nose at 7 o'clock just so i'll wake up ;]. we have a full on understanding of eachother that'll never go away. even when we haven't seen eachother in two weeks we still go out of the way to find out every single piece of what we missed. paige norrd this girl makes me laugh so hard it's crazy. just the thought of paige makes me smile. she's such an amazing friend and through the dullest of times when there's nothing to do she still makes it fun. how she handles things impresses me, and the fact that she can pull off all a's is amazing. she doesn't try hard for anyone, she wont go out of her way to impress people and that's what i love so much about her. i've learned so much from nordd. selyn elise hernandez she's probably the craziest girl i've ever met. she'd do anything for her friends and i respect her and her decisions so much, i love hanging out with her because we can be the dorkiest people and not even care. she brings out the fun side in me which has been hiding for the past couple months. she's not embarassed to make weird noises and fly around in front of all the upperclass kids, she's just real and i wish i could be half the person she is. jess myers i'm so glad i've gotten close to her. when my mom passed away she wrote me the longest/nicest letter i've ever received from a person. it was beautiful, and the way she could get her words out like that blew me away. she has so many goals in her life and i admire everything she does. the fact that she's in a band that's actually going somewhere is amazing, and the fact that she still gets straight a's behind it is even more amazing. she's so sarcastic, but so unbelievably caring at the same time. annsley pennell shoooott! this girl! seriously, my first ever friend when i move back. i remember when we both kinda liked blake johnson, but he called us porks and completely rejected us. but that didn't bother us haha. the next day we wore our socks with pigs on them in honor of our porkiness. she's such a beautiful person, inside and out. you can just tell from seeing her face that she is. she puts out all her energy on her friends and makes the friendships so much better. she doesn't care what the fashion is, she'll wear her uggz one day, then her band shirt the next. i have SO MUCH fun with her, she's just perfffectt. britney calcavecchia my absolute best friend on the earth. even though she lives in utah right now for freshman year, everytime i see her it's like nothing's changed. everytime she visits we're the same old people. she's dealt with so much but still remains the fantastic beautiul girl that she is. i remember i thought she was the student teacher on her first day of school, she looked like it. then as soon as i met her i knew that we'd be close. she's such a good listener and i really hope that i've been able to give back all the emotional gifts she's blessed me with. matthew thomas kingery my best guy friend in the universe, when i'm having the shittiest of days he knows exactly what to say to make me laugh. i don't think i've shared as many laughs with anyone else. his dorky little characteristics are what make me like him so much. how we can make fun of eachother and completely blow it off later. how he'd be right by my side at the drop of a dime if he knew i needed him. jon marquez wow, my first real love. the only guy that probably knows everything about me, and the only guy that i can actually hold aa six hour phone conversation with without getting bored. he's such an amazing person and knows how to make someone feel 100% better. our lonngg talks and him talking me through tears when my mom died are what makes him so special to me. i'm surprised he still deals with me, but it really means so much. i should have never taken him for granted in the first place. michael tEhAwTy since he goes to brophy now it really sucks, i miss seeing him everyday and laughing with him and matt. if i ever left i'd take all the shoes that i've stolen from him and tack them on my wall.:] he's such a wonderful littlee man and so funny. stephan holly AHH WHO'S LUNCH WOULD I EAT? WHO WOULD SHARE THEIR UGLY STARBURSTS WITH ME? geeze the world would be over with stephanie holly in my life. michael patrick curry this kid's amazing, purely amazing. only word that can describe him basically; amazing. he's so respectful to girls and the goals that he's set up for himself blow me away. i'm so impressed with the choices he's made and wish that i could be as smart. so maybe his talent isn't singing? hahaha just kidding michael, PoiNt BlAnK RoXxXx HEheHEe. :] he's taught me so much and i admire him in everything that he does. brian patrick anderson yes brian, you. i miss this kid so much. believe it or not brian. we used to be so close and i really miss that. from monsters under your bed to turtle in your lamp, there's so many things that i should thank you for. though we don't talk half as much this year you'll always be so imporant to me. kaylee thronson sweeett! the only girl i can dance with at shows looking like a racoon with rabies, no. . rabies with also minor seizures. ahha she's so funny and i'm so glad we finally met. PoiNt BLaNk AnD Tr00p 1oh1 some of the nicest boys+ jess i've ever met. i love all you guys and missing out on all the troop shows would be heartttt breaking. :[ ALL MY ECG'S<333 honestly; girls you make my life worth living. i don't believe we've EVER actually faught. we get along so well and all our personalities fit perfectly together to make some of the best friends. words can't even explain how many thank you's i owe all of you. i love you guys SO MUCH<3
there's so many other people that mean the world to me and you all know who you are, i'm really tired and still have math homework. everyone say a prayer that this somehow magically doesn't work out. i lOVE YOU ALL SO BLOODY MUCH<3 thanks for dealing with me and my patheticness. OH AND LOVE TO ALL MY LJ FRIENDZZ<3!!!++