(no subject)
today things are hurting me.
i think i would have felt better if peggie woke me up and asked me if she should go see mark.
i think i just need a really big hug from her.
or from christina.
im tired of the only thing inside my body being food
food that will never come out anymore.
it's soaking into the fat that's under my skin.
soaking like lard and tiny balls of oil.
i was glad about writing a little today,
but really not that glad about a lot of other things.
i'm glad tomorrow night is getting closer,
and that my mother got orchids, two beautiful big ones.
she said she wishes i would have them here,
i feel terrible for things that i do,
only sometimes,
and im rememembering when i was with micheal and i told him
how i would be at school.
and i am that way, and it's okay, i'm okay with it
but sometimes, only sometimes.
i think i would have felt better if peggie woke me up and asked me if she should go see mark.
i think i just need a really big hug from her.
or from christina.
im tired of the only thing inside my body being food
food that will never come out anymore.
it's soaking into the fat that's under my skin.
soaking like lard and tiny balls of oil.
i was glad about writing a little today,
but really not that glad about a lot of other things.
i'm glad tomorrow night is getting closer,
and that my mother got orchids, two beautiful big ones.
she said she wishes i would have them here,
i feel terrible for things that i do,
only sometimes,
and im rememembering when i was with micheal and i told him
how i would be at school.
and i am that way, and it's okay, i'm okay with it
but sometimes, only sometimes.