(no subject)
the point is,
everything is absolutely going to be just fine. i know who i am. i know what i'm worth. i know where i'm going. i'm making all the right decisions to get me to the places i want to go. and i'm going to be taken care of.
i prayed about loneliness. i asked god if he'd give me good friends when jacob left. immediately, an overwhelming impression came upon me that said if you're obedient you'll have the best friends in the world. three months later i have those friends. amazing friends. die for you lie for you kill for you friends. and we laugh and shoot nerf darts at each other and tell secrets and keep secrets. i've never had so many good friends in my life.
i asked god if i would forget about how much i love jacob in three years. i prayed because i was worried that maybe he wouldn't love me then, maybe i wouldn't love him. the answer came as quickly and purely all the others if not jacob, then someone better. and i'm okay with that. because if i don't get jacob i can't imagine how awesome the other guy is going to be ;)
i prayed about whether i should quit my job, i asked if it was the right thing or if i should just work harder to make everything work. the answer came just the same: quit it, and focus on what's important.
so i did and here i am. happy and carefree. making enough money for everything and spending time with the people that are important to me.
i may go to church for three hours every sunday, i may wake up at seven in the morning to take mission prep classes, i may pray before every meal and every morning and night. it may take a lot of time to be considerate of every single person. it may take a lot of energy to do everything i should, but i'm happy. i'm absolutely glowing. i have every answer to every single one of my questions, there's not a doubt in my mind.
and if it's all a lie
if god doesn't exist
I'M STILL HAPPIER
but he does exist.
and how blessed i am to know him.
everything is absolutely going to be just fine. i know who i am. i know what i'm worth. i know where i'm going. i'm making all the right decisions to get me to the places i want to go. and i'm going to be taken care of.
i prayed about loneliness. i asked god if he'd give me good friends when jacob left. immediately, an overwhelming impression came upon me that said if you're obedient you'll have the best friends in the world. three months later i have those friends. amazing friends. die for you lie for you kill for you friends. and we laugh and shoot nerf darts at each other and tell secrets and keep secrets. i've never had so many good friends in my life.
i asked god if i would forget about how much i love jacob in three years. i prayed because i was worried that maybe he wouldn't love me then, maybe i wouldn't love him. the answer came as quickly and purely all the others if not jacob, then someone better. and i'm okay with that. because if i don't get jacob i can't imagine how awesome the other guy is going to be ;)
i prayed about whether i should quit my job, i asked if it was the right thing or if i should just work harder to make everything work. the answer came just the same: quit it, and focus on what's important.
so i did and here i am. happy and carefree. making enough money for everything and spending time with the people that are important to me.
i may go to church for three hours every sunday, i may wake up at seven in the morning to take mission prep classes, i may pray before every meal and every morning and night. it may take a lot of time to be considerate of every single person. it may take a lot of energy to do everything i should, but i'm happy. i'm absolutely glowing. i have every answer to every single one of my questions, there's not a doubt in my mind.
and if it's all a lie
if god doesn't exist
I'M STILL HAPPIER
but he does exist.
and how blessed i am to know him.