(no subject)
i have felt so lost and so idle since my little brothers nintendo ds got sent away.
playing sudoku was the only thing keeping me from going insane and then dwelling, wallowing and eventually drowning in my insanity.
im on like that second last breath before your out of energy and you sink.
i had another attack last night.
amanda was getting sick and i was trying to be a good friend nd stay with her in the bathroom,
but i, as with most people, have a deep hatred and fear of vomit.
she just kept flushing the toilet without closing the lid and all i could think about were the thousands of little throw up particles i was ingesting.
today at work something happened with ryan and it made me so unbelievably angry that i actually could not speak to him for the rest of the day.
this kind of gangster group of men came in to my store and one was holding an empty red bull can.
he asked ryan if he could throw it in our garbage, which was about a foot from where ryan and i were standing,
and ryan said no.
actually he lied point blank, for absolutely no reason and told the man we didnt have a garbage.
when the man left i asked ryan why he hadnt let the man throw his can away,
and ryan told me that the man shouldnt assume that he can just use a stores garbage can.
it made absolutely no sense to me.
clearly there would be no trouble to us to just let him throw his can away.
what frustrated me more was that i know that had it been an attractive young lady ryan would have no problem offering up our garbage.
i wanted to apologize to the poor man for ryans ignorance.
i wanted to scream at ryan.
instead i just stopped speaking for the remainder of the afternoon.
playing sudoku was the only thing keeping me from going insane and then dwelling, wallowing and eventually drowning in my insanity.
im on like that second last breath before your out of energy and you sink.
i had another attack last night.
amanda was getting sick and i was trying to be a good friend nd stay with her in the bathroom,
but i, as with most people, have a deep hatred and fear of vomit.
she just kept flushing the toilet without closing the lid and all i could think about were the thousands of little throw up particles i was ingesting.
today at work something happened with ryan and it made me so unbelievably angry that i actually could not speak to him for the rest of the day.
this kind of gangster group of men came in to my store and one was holding an empty red bull can.
he asked ryan if he could throw it in our garbage, which was about a foot from where ryan and i were standing,
and ryan said no.
actually he lied point blank, for absolutely no reason and told the man we didnt have a garbage.
when the man left i asked ryan why he hadnt let the man throw his can away,
and ryan told me that the man shouldnt assume that he can just use a stores garbage can.
it made absolutely no sense to me.
clearly there would be no trouble to us to just let him throw his can away.
what frustrated me more was that i know that had it been an attractive young lady ryan would have no problem offering up our garbage.
i wanted to apologize to the poor man for ryans ignorance.
i wanted to scream at ryan.
instead i just stopped speaking for the remainder of the afternoon.