Sep 12, 2008 02:19
i barely knew you but you've opened my eyes to so many wonderful and beautiful things. you've brought people together. you're sitting up high watching us all fall so low. i've shared tears with your closest friends, i've recalled every instance that i remembered being with you;
i met you the night i met the love of my life, and you looked so bored and so in thought. you plopped down next to us, or perhaps in a near booth, and thus began my diner days. i thought your hair was really nice and you were the first one to wave goodbye to me.
on new years eve i remember you sitting at that table at the party. i was still so unsure about everything and everyone around me. but you were there to celebrate and everyone was all smiles.
when we were in gettysburg at that pizza shop, lou reed came on the radio and you started singing and i didn't take you for a fan. i didn't sit next to you, but i wish i would've.
the last time i saw you was at ross' for your birthday campfire. all the boys followed you inside when you had to pee because they thought you were getting sick. you had wine and called it an early night.
you'll never really know how much you've touched me. i know you're watching us, and everyone misses you. they more-than-miss-you. you've made us all pay attention to everything a little more, breathe a little deeper, sleep a little uneasier. tonight i thought you were the one with the power behind the shuffle on my ipod, and i imagined you sitting next to me, getting to know each other like i desperately wish we could have. you're everything to me, and i know it sounds weird because we're mostly strangers. but you're part of that piece in my life, which is part of something bigger, something stronger. you were a character in this story i couldn't wait to live out, which is inside this little town, inside my tiny little heart.
walking into the foyer, behind him, waiting for you, lips trembling, tears, tissues, mascara, cold air, shaky hands, grieving, cigarettes, sweat
we helped her with the little red album. you had the best smile and the longest legs!
i turned this night between that boy i love and the biggest heartache he's ever felt into a dramatization about me. i'm so embarrassed. i even asked him why he loved me because i am so crazy, and he said he loved me because i'm crazy. god, i hope you liked me. i'll never truly know, and you'll never ever know how much i liked you.
rest in peace,
tell the angels i say hello