(no subject)
I've started noticing that I am becoming more and more distant from those who I care the most about. The best friend subject always makes my heart swell with emotion. Longing for what I thought I might have had once, for something I've never had. Maybe I expect too much out of my friends, maybe I just don't put enough energy into a friendship. Maybe I just throw around the word "friend" too loosely. I feel like I don't have the "best friend" bond with anyone. No, "Till death do us part." I want that one person who I can tell anything to, who I can be around and act with confidence, to know my every move isn't being judged. I want the kind of friend who will hold my hand while I get a tattoo, who will tell me if I'm gaining weight and then go on a diet with me. There will be moments when I think I've found it, but it never lasts. We always grow apart. The worst is when you feel you've found your best friend, but the same does not apply to them. I've learned, "Nothing is forever. All is metaphoric. All is conscious experience." Apparently 1/4 of the population also has no one to confide in. So I guess I'm not totally alone. Crying doesn't help any either.