(no subject)
well, its not like anyone reads this shit much nowadays, and its not like i even use this much anymore except for when im bored and browsing, but i just have stuff that i feel like getting off my chest for my own good.
emo starts nnnnnnow...
I'm happy, but I'm not. I have everything i want, but one of the most important pieces is missing.
I've always been one to thrive on having friends around, and people to talk to and listen to and recently i feel like i havent had anyone. i feel so ditached from people. i feel like i dont have anyone anymore that really knows me, that will listen to my rants, that will listen to all the boring shit i did all day. i just dont have anyone to reaally talk to.
my best friend lives across the fucking ocean, and i havent seen her in 3 years. talk about ditached.
my other close friends are all gone, and as much as i wanted to stay connected...it seems often time that its not mutual at all, so why try?
knowing someones been in town, but having had no phone calls or anything, not having someone say "hey, i want to see you and talk" just hurts. and when it happens practically threefold, theres just nothing i can say.
the one person i grew to bond with and talk to, moved.
i still havent met anyone at school. going there everyday and going through the motions alone gets old and yet almost comfortable. but thats not the kind of comfort i want. i want the comfort of going and hanging out between classes with my bff. sharing gossip and secrets and feelings and just w.e.
i brought in the new year by being depressed at the sight of 30 people who dont know me and that will all probably turn against me if anything did happen between Devin and I, and by crying for my mother who brought in her new year by Alberto moving out.
theres someone that i think i could be really good friends with, but being that im so desperate for friendship, i just dont want to come off as that desperate freak. i just have to give it time, but ive just been lost for almost 6 months.
i want to be found.
emo starts nnnnnnow...
I'm happy, but I'm not. I have everything i want, but one of the most important pieces is missing.
I've always been one to thrive on having friends around, and people to talk to and listen to and recently i feel like i havent had anyone. i feel so ditached from people. i feel like i dont have anyone anymore that really knows me, that will listen to my rants, that will listen to all the boring shit i did all day. i just dont have anyone to reaally talk to.
my best friend lives across the fucking ocean, and i havent seen her in 3 years. talk about ditached.
my other close friends are all gone, and as much as i wanted to stay connected...it seems often time that its not mutual at all, so why try?
knowing someones been in town, but having had no phone calls or anything, not having someone say "hey, i want to see you and talk" just hurts. and when it happens practically threefold, theres just nothing i can say.
the one person i grew to bond with and talk to, moved.
i still havent met anyone at school. going there everyday and going through the motions alone gets old and yet almost comfortable. but thats not the kind of comfort i want. i want the comfort of going and hanging out between classes with my bff. sharing gossip and secrets and feelings and just w.e.
i brought in the new year by being depressed at the sight of 30 people who dont know me and that will all probably turn against me if anything did happen between Devin and I, and by crying for my mother who brought in her new year by Alberto moving out.
theres someone that i think i could be really good friends with, but being that im so desperate for friendship, i just dont want to come off as that desperate freak. i just have to give it time, but ive just been lost for almost 6 months.
i want to be found.