A spiritual revival.
So, today, er, I mean, yesterday, I went to church. No surprise there, eh?? haha, but at church, several things happened. For one, me and about a thousand other people witnessed a possessed lady go crazy in the middle of the service, that was eventful. You all watch those exorcist movies and laugh (or scream), but seriously, you guys, it can actually happen!!!!! I've seen it with my own eyes on sunday. It was quite scary, but it opened up a lot. I mean, she didn't do super duper crazy stuff, but I mean, she could've.
And then our sunday school teacher talked to us about how Satan is all around us. How he puts us into these pacts (I think that's the right word, I mean, it sounds like the one in Portuguese.) Anyway, she told us of how he puts us into these pacts and sometimes you're consciounce about it and other times, you're not. You don't realize what you're saying. And she went on to talk about how once we're saved by Jesus, Satan can't control us and even before we're saved by Jesus, he can't! He can't control us! He has to go up to God and ask if he can do certain things (but he can't take away our lives) and sometimes God will let him do certain things because He wants to teach us a lesson and help us mature in life and have our faith grow. Make us stronger. Like when our parents allow us to do stupid things and know we did it, but won't interfere because they want you to learn. Kinda like that. Kinda like tough love, but I found it really interesting.....
I mean, lately, things have been crappy and I know this is all because of one stupid mistake that I knew I shouldn't have done, but I'm going to not say it because I'm gonna put this on public so my stalker, Gabe, and the rest of the world can read this because it's another declaration! Lately, I've been delcaraing a lot of things, no?? haha. You see, all this mess, all this that I'm feeling are the consquences of one itty bitty mistake that I didn't rush over to God and ask Him for help and guidance and advice. Now He's like, "Are you finally gonna start obeying me, my dear??" haha. Imagine God saying that. Anyway, anyway, anyway, I am finally going to start listening to God and actually obeying Him. Not saying that I will and don't.
And on sunday, I was praying (because my church has this praying session thing where eveyrone prays) and you know, I just gave everything up to God. I'm like, "You know, I can't handle this anymore. I'm sick of feeling like this. I'm sick of crying everyday. I'm sick of wanting to get on a plane and fly away to somewhere beyond. I'm sick of all this depression and anger. So, God, I give it all up to You and You take care of it all because I'm tired. I can't do this. I can't. I'm tired of being part of this world because all it does is brings me down. It makes me cry. It makes me so depressed and I don't want to feel like this anymore." And then when I finished praying, it was, literally, I'm not joking, like someone took off this massive boulder off of my back and I suddenly felt calm. I did. I felt so relieved. So, calm. That's the word. I wasn't happy, but I wasn't depressed nor was I angry. I was calm. Very calm. Very still. Very relaxed. It was amazing.
Then on the way home, my parents stopped at Publix to get some chicken and I stayed in the car and I was listening to this song and I'll put it up on myspace because it describes everything. And as I was listening to this song, everything seemed to be brighter, happier. And I smiled. Not one of those "yeah-that-was-funny-hahaha-smiles" or "Oh-it's-you!" smiles, but a genuine smile. One that really described myself deep, deep, deep down. It was wonderful. I wanted to live in that moment forever. Forever. And ever. And ever. And ever.
But I couldn't. And I'm not that bummed out about it, but you know, things are getting better now. I feel happy for once. For once, I'm laughing deep down inside and you know, it feels good. It really does. Where'd I be without God?? And where'd I be if I couldn't throw all these stupid teenage problems upon Him??
And then our sunday school teacher talked to us about how Satan is all around us. How he puts us into these pacts (I think that's the right word, I mean, it sounds like the one in Portuguese.) Anyway, she told us of how he puts us into these pacts and sometimes you're consciounce about it and other times, you're not. You don't realize what you're saying. And she went on to talk about how once we're saved by Jesus, Satan can't control us and even before we're saved by Jesus, he can't! He can't control us! He has to go up to God and ask if he can do certain things (but he can't take away our lives) and sometimes God will let him do certain things because He wants to teach us a lesson and help us mature in life and have our faith grow. Make us stronger. Like when our parents allow us to do stupid things and know we did it, but won't interfere because they want you to learn. Kinda like that. Kinda like tough love, but I found it really interesting.....
I mean, lately, things have been crappy and I know this is all because of one stupid mistake that I knew I shouldn't have done, but I'm going to not say it because I'm gonna put this on public so my stalker, Gabe, and the rest of the world can read this because it's another declaration! Lately, I've been delcaraing a lot of things, no?? haha. You see, all this mess, all this that I'm feeling are the consquences of one itty bitty mistake that I didn't rush over to God and ask Him for help and guidance and advice. Now He's like, "Are you finally gonna start obeying me, my dear??" haha. Imagine God saying that. Anyway, anyway, anyway, I am finally going to start listening to God and actually obeying Him. Not saying that I will and don't.
And on sunday, I was praying (because my church has this praying session thing where eveyrone prays) and you know, I just gave everything up to God. I'm like, "You know, I can't handle this anymore. I'm sick of feeling like this. I'm sick of crying everyday. I'm sick of wanting to get on a plane and fly away to somewhere beyond. I'm sick of all this depression and anger. So, God, I give it all up to You and You take care of it all because I'm tired. I can't do this. I can't. I'm tired of being part of this world because all it does is brings me down. It makes me cry. It makes me so depressed and I don't want to feel like this anymore." And then when I finished praying, it was, literally, I'm not joking, like someone took off this massive boulder off of my back and I suddenly felt calm. I did. I felt so relieved. So, calm. That's the word. I wasn't happy, but I wasn't depressed nor was I angry. I was calm. Very calm. Very still. Very relaxed. It was amazing.
Then on the way home, my parents stopped at Publix to get some chicken and I stayed in the car and I was listening to this song and I'll put it up on myspace because it describes everything. And as I was listening to this song, everything seemed to be brighter, happier. And I smiled. Not one of those "yeah-that-was-funny-hahaha-smiles" or "Oh-it's-you!" smiles, but a genuine smile. One that really described myself deep, deep, deep down. It was wonderful. I wanted to live in that moment forever. Forever. And ever. And ever. And ever.
But I couldn't. And I'm not that bummed out about it, but you know, things are getting better now. I feel happy for once. For once, I'm laughing deep down inside and you know, it feels good. It really does. Where'd I be without God?? And where'd I be if I couldn't throw all these stupid teenage problems upon Him??