first draft of absolutly nothing
she woke up in her bed shaking violently from the cold. she looked over at her window & it was open. it was december. why the hell was her window open. & then she remember the night before & how she had left her keys at home before she left for dinner. she had gone to a 'fancy' dinner which she hopes would allow her 19 year old self to feel sophisticated for once. she wore a pretty dress she got for $9 in harvard square & she brushed her hair straight & out of it's usual tangled mess. she had even put on makeup. she stared into her bathroom mirror. it was covered in some kind of build up. she had never washed it. washing it would mean she cared. caring about the mirror meant caring about the apartment which meant caring about her future which she simply did not believe she did care about. she put her hand under the faucet & could feel the cold instantly rushing through her veins. she turned the water to hot...well warm, it wasn't a classy apartment. she cleared the mirror with her hand. her makeup was ruined & her hair a mess. she brushed her teeth & left the bathroom. she felt only slightly hung over. a fancy party means fancy wines which means, or so she convinced herself, less of a pain in the morning. she threw on dirty jeans & the tee shirt she had worn before she had 'prettied up'. she sprayed herself with knock off perfume from CVS or Target or something of the sorts. her room was bright. she opened her curtains. her room was okay & the only place she liked in the city. only...she didn't like it because liking it would mean caring about it & such & such & such. it was a robin egg blue with white trim & all the paint was peeling, 86% at least, but she thought it gave it character. she liked the way the hardwood floors creaked under her feet. it made her feel grown up. she would close her eyes & pretend she had a fancy house & a loving husband...or at least a loving cat. cat, husband, they were both the same to her.
she walked to her door & grabbed her purse. she heard a buzz & unlocked the buildings door so that he could come up.
'hello'
'hello'
'are you ready?'
'i guess'
'ready as you'll ever be? your hair's a mess.'
'it always is. look past the hair. look into me.'
they both laughed. it wasn't even a joke. their conversations never made sense but they didn't have to. because when you find that person that just understood you without words you don't need words. obviously. they both smiled & looked away because they had the minds of five year olds when it came to love. not sex just love. sex was just sex. but nevermind that.
they walked out the door. & she remembered to take her keys.
she walked to her door & grabbed her purse. she heard a buzz & unlocked the buildings door so that he could come up.
'hello'
'hello'
'are you ready?'
'i guess'
'ready as you'll ever be? your hair's a mess.'
'it always is. look past the hair. look into me.'
they both laughed. it wasn't even a joke. their conversations never made sense but they didn't have to. because when you find that person that just understood you without words you don't need words. obviously. they both smiled & looked away because they had the minds of five year olds when it came to love. not sex just love. sex was just sex. but nevermind that.
they walked out the door. & she remembered to take her keys.