(Untitled)
'Cause someday maybe
Somebody will love me like I need
And someday I won't have to prove
'Cause somebody will see all my worth
So now randomly, all these guys either a.) sign off when I IM them or b.) ignore me completely. For a reason I am completely unaware of. The only boy I ever talk to online anymore is Jeremiah and he barely counts. WHAT THE HELL ( Read more... )
coz it turns out my best friend just got a boyfriend, and terrible as it sounds, I was jealous of her. Was. But we've talked a bit (I didn't tell her that I was jealous, just that I needed to get used to the idea).
And there's this kid that likes me in english class, but i'm just really emotionally against dating high school guys coz it seems all they wanna do is get in your pants.
Anyways, i've been mulling everything over, and I felt myself torn between "ok, do I start being interested in this english guy that I don't really like just so I can feel included in boyfriend-ness, OR, do I not?"
And it occured to me that:
a) I don't want to be the kind of person that just strings guys along to feel included. It's not fair to him or me.
b) If I just get a boyfriend for the heck of it, it'll lose all it's meaning. Like, instead of being with a guy that likes me completely just for who I am, I'm just with some run-of-the-mill guy that maybe makes me feel good about myself for now, but really isn't for me. (like, some of my friends are like, "my goal this year is to get a boyfriend" and I always think, "why rush it? It's just not something that you can make happen." y'know what I mean?)
c) I've started this thing, and I think it's a really cute idea that sort of helps make me feel better. I'm going to start writing a journal (originally it was a letter, but I like the journal more coz it's an on-going thing) to my future husband. I'm going to write about how much I think/ wonder about him, and about how I wonder if I've met him already, and what I hope we'll do together, and how I hope he'll propose, and fun stuff like that... and I plan to give it to him as a wedding gift. And (since we're married and all...) he has to read it, or I'll make him sleep on the couch. ;)
Anywas, I'd send this to you in an email but my email is down, and even though it's kinda personal, i'll run the risk of other people reading it because I really hope that it helps you even a little bit!
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& that journal thing is so cute! Thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it. :) :)
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Aww, thanx, I hope I can keep it up and remember it in a few years...
No prob!
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