attention males

May 05, 2005 12:15

this is going to sound conceited no matter which way i put it, so bear in mind that I AM NOT IN THE SLIGHTEST. anyway, i seriously need help with letting members of the opposite sex know that i am not interested in them. i can't do it! i can't turn guys down. i like to keep feelings intact, what can i say. example: this guy keeps calling and ( Read more... )

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Comments 20

pablo_number_2 May 5 2005, 17:32:48 UTC
say hey, i dont want dick

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______blackout May 5 2005, 18:37:30 UTC
good idea; however that wouldn't be entirely true

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pablo_number_2 May 5 2005, 23:29:36 UTC
sorry, "hey I dont want YOUR NASTY ASS SMALL TENNIE WEENIE CHODE LOAD OF A PENIS"

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______blackout May 6 2005, 15:20:23 UTC
hahaha. i've never said the word "chode" and i don't think i ever could; secretly i'm kind of shy.

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szasz May 5 2005, 17:39:21 UTC
If someone's interested in you and you can't reciprocate, they're going to be disappointed and let down no matter what. You should just recognize that fact and then try to minimize it without trying to keep them from those feelings.

The biggest favor you can do someone who's pursuing you is to, as soon as you figure out what's going on, just tell them very practically and politely. "Look, it seems like you keep calling me because you're interested in a relationship with me. I'm sorry, but I'm really not interested in a relationship with you." Encouraging them that you're sure they'll find someone because they're nice/attractive/hot/whatever is always nice, too, if you can say that without lying to them.

Remember that getting a shot is a good thing even though it stings for a second.

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______blackout May 6 2005, 15:21:59 UTC
yeah, i know, but at the same time, i'm imagining a guy saying that to me: "look, i know you're interested, but i'm just not"...that seems like the worst possible thing a guy could say to me - i feel my face getting warm from embarassment just thinking about it. i think i'd rather just be confused whether he's into me or not than face THE ULTIMATE REJECTION.

anyway, thank you, i know this advice is probably the best. xo.

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szasz May 6 2005, 16:56:36 UTC
Sure it's probably embarrassing but you can minimize that by being as kind as you can about the message. And I at least would infinitely prefer that to weeks or months of not getting a response from you, wondering what I'm doing wrong, and assuming it's that I'm awkward or ugly or smell bad or something.

Besides, it's not the ULTIMATE REJECTION... it's just one girl saying look, you seem really nice and attractive, but I really am not looking for a relationship with you.

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szasz May 6 2005, 16:58:43 UTC
oh and...

Remember, as the girl, "traditionally" you get pursued, not the other way around. Confusion about whether or not a guy is interested is a lot easier to handle when you can do it passively, just lying around wondering what's going on in his mind blah blah blah. The guy has to be actively trying to romance you, get your attention, whatever. Being confused about what to do next and why what he's doing isn't working is a LOT more difficult.

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old_school_blue May 5 2005, 19:34:56 UTC
If the guy appreciates blunt honesty like me, tell him straight up "Sorry, but I don't like you." It beats the hell out of being lead on, which has happened to me 3 times in the past 6 months.

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______blackout May 5 2005, 19:49:53 UTC
i'm definitely not leading this dude on, i'm just being nice. i've led guys on too (accidently)...not a good idea.

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pancakerobot May 5 2005, 23:12:44 UTC
szasz has your answer already

if you don't just tell him honestly, then you're just like EVERY OTHER FUCKING GIRL ON THE PLANET, which is only true to the extent of my poor experience

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______blackout May 6 2005, 15:24:02 UTC
it's because we're SENSITIVE and don't like hurting feelings. this is both a great thing and a horrible thing. the curses of more estrogen!!!

( was that dramatic enough? :] )

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ajoyfulgirl_ May 6 2005, 00:48:00 UTC
i just ignore my phone calls all the time which is probably mean and cruel.

i'm going to be living in chicago this summer! ! !

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______blackout May 6 2005, 15:19:32 UTC
i do too, mostly. i think it's a good hint.

if i'm here we should hang out!

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