If you could see me
Wow, I haven't updated in... months? I don't know what is compelling me to write a blog entry right now.
Hm. Tons of things have... changed. Or rather, my environment is changing and I am changing right along with it. First of all, I'm going to COLLEGE. Holy shit, college. Not just any college, but a UC. Which used to be one of my biggest fears, not getting a UC education... and everything worked out. I'm ridiculously (like, TRULY ridiculously) excited to move to Santa Barbara (I'm going to UCSB, by the way, haha). I think it has what I need. Strong academics and competitive enough to make me work hard but balanced with wonderful people and chill-ness. Funny how I got all that from orientation.
But it's a good feeling, you know? It's making the whole facing-the-fact-that-I'm-not-going-to-be-officially-living-at-the-house-I've-been-living-in-for-10-years a lot easier to bear. Knowing that... I'm heading off to something good. I met a bunch of people at orientation, and a few of them I already feel close with, if not just super friendly. And I think the change... I should embrace it. I've always felt like I've been in a rut in Sacramento, with the same people who don't give a shit and with all of the unbearable limits to the point where I can't really... be myself. I'll get to pursue the education I want now and just... learn how to be an adult. I'm so terribly excited for it all!
And to post an entry on this old journal... it seems obligatory to talk about my love life, haha. I guess I.. have a boyfriend? I don't know. We haven't talked in nearly two weeks. It was just a series of disagreements/arguments/etc. and he just told me, "I'll call you some other day," as opposed to calling me every single night. The dynamics changed. I think this was my first relationship where I haven't really felt any enmity or stomach-churning awkwardness after things ending, where I just understood that he is a good person, he's just not right for me, and that's okay. Granted, we haven't spoken. It's been nearly two months out of dating, and he hasn't spoken to me in two weeks. Sounds pretty accurate to say we're not together, right? I know I'll more than likely have to confront him about this sometime soon, but as of now, I'm perfectly content just letting it fall apart.
On another note... I have no job (was gonna work for the City again but due to budget cuts, my promised job fell through) so I've just been keeping busy by hanging out (mainly with Kelly), sewingsewingsewing, and both mentally and physically preparing to leave for school in a month and a half. I've been sewing a lot mainly because I got absolutely fixated on the idea of selling at Second Saturday (a cultural fair of sorts in the downtown area of my city, with boutiques and galleries opening up their doors all at once to the general public, if you didn't know). It was mainly inspired when Kelly and I were approached by this guy who was selling DIY'ed/customized clothes with his girlfriend. I bought a hoodie, which I knocked him down to $25... and imo, it wasn't even worth that much. (But you just kind of develop that mentality when you DIY a lot yourself... you just think, Oh I can make that.) Anywho, I figured that I could do that myself and set up a table willy-nilly like they did. I've made only a few items so far... for the first three days, I sewed constantly (not exaggerating -- I only stopped to eat or use the restroom and went on for... 10+ hours at a time) and kind of burned myself out. Having no patterns and limited supplies makes for really tiring work. I'm pretty proud, though. Now I'm just wondering if I should sell, because I'm starting to question my full use of creativity... and if I'm really just doing this to make a quick buck. But then again, what's the harm in setting up a table for a couple hours and just networking, eh?
On a last bit, I'm turning 18 this coming Saturday. I wanted to go out of town with a couple of good friends, but my father doesn't trust me driving to big cities without him. Oh, little does he know... well, that's another story, haha. Anyhow, I just invited a bunch of friends to go out to dinner and movies this weekend, so it should be fun! Sushi, froyo, and HPinIMAX... can't really get any better. I'm pretty dang strapped for cash (and anytime I DO get some cash, I save it or invest towards college/dorm-related supplies) but I figure, might as well go out with my friends and enjoy myself. :)
I don't think anyone reads this anymore, but I kind of want to start blogging again. I'm on a bunch of other places (facebook, twitter, etc.) but I feel like I can't really talk about anything unless it's here. Hahah. Anyhow, my scant eljay friends -- how are you all? :D
Hm. Tons of things have... changed. Or rather, my environment is changing and I am changing right along with it. First of all, I'm going to COLLEGE. Holy shit, college. Not just any college, but a UC. Which used to be one of my biggest fears, not getting a UC education... and everything worked out. I'm ridiculously (like, TRULY ridiculously) excited to move to Santa Barbara (I'm going to UCSB, by the way, haha). I think it has what I need. Strong academics and competitive enough to make me work hard but balanced with wonderful people and chill-ness. Funny how I got all that from orientation.
But it's a good feeling, you know? It's making the whole facing-the-fact-that-I'm-not-going-to-be-officially-living-at-the-house-I've-been-living-in-for-10-years a lot easier to bear. Knowing that... I'm heading off to something good. I met a bunch of people at orientation, and a few of them I already feel close with, if not just super friendly. And I think the change... I should embrace it. I've always felt like I've been in a rut in Sacramento, with the same people who don't give a shit and with all of the unbearable limits to the point where I can't really... be myself. I'll get to pursue the education I want now and just... learn how to be an adult. I'm so terribly excited for it all!
And to post an entry on this old journal... it seems obligatory to talk about my love life, haha. I guess I.. have a boyfriend? I don't know. We haven't talked in nearly two weeks. It was just a series of disagreements/arguments/etc. and he just told me, "I'll call you some other day," as opposed to calling me every single night. The dynamics changed. I think this was my first relationship where I haven't really felt any enmity or stomach-churning awkwardness after things ending, where I just understood that he is a good person, he's just not right for me, and that's okay. Granted, we haven't spoken. It's been nearly two months out of dating, and he hasn't spoken to me in two weeks. Sounds pretty accurate to say we're not together, right? I know I'll more than likely have to confront him about this sometime soon, but as of now, I'm perfectly content just letting it fall apart.
On another note... I have no job (was gonna work for the City again but due to budget cuts, my promised job fell through) so I've just been keeping busy by hanging out (mainly with Kelly), sewingsewingsewing, and both mentally and physically preparing to leave for school in a month and a half. I've been sewing a lot mainly because I got absolutely fixated on the idea of selling at Second Saturday (a cultural fair of sorts in the downtown area of my city, with boutiques and galleries opening up their doors all at once to the general public, if you didn't know). It was mainly inspired when Kelly and I were approached by this guy who was selling DIY'ed/customized clothes with his girlfriend. I bought a hoodie, which I knocked him down to $25... and imo, it wasn't even worth that much. (But you just kind of develop that mentality when you DIY a lot yourself... you just think, Oh I can make that.) Anywho, I figured that I could do that myself and set up a table willy-nilly like they did. I've made only a few items so far... for the first three days, I sewed constantly (not exaggerating -- I only stopped to eat or use the restroom and went on for... 10+ hours at a time) and kind of burned myself out. Having no patterns and limited supplies makes for really tiring work. I'm pretty proud, though. Now I'm just wondering if I should sell, because I'm starting to question my full use of creativity... and if I'm really just doing this to make a quick buck. But then again, what's the harm in setting up a table for a couple hours and just networking, eh?
On a last bit, I'm turning 18 this coming Saturday. I wanted to go out of town with a couple of good friends, but my father doesn't trust me driving to big cities without him. Oh, little does he know... well, that's another story, haha. Anyhow, I just invited a bunch of friends to go out to dinner and movies this weekend, so it should be fun! Sushi, froyo, and HPinIMAX... can't really get any better. I'm pretty dang strapped for cash (and anytime I DO get some cash, I save it or invest towards college/dorm-related supplies) but I figure, might as well go out with my friends and enjoy myself. :)
I don't think anyone reads this anymore, but I kind of want to start blogging again. I'm on a bunch of other places (facebook, twitter, etc.) but I feel like I can't really talk about anything unless it's here. Hahah. Anyhow, my scant eljay friends -- how are you all? :D