=(
There's so many things on my mind right now. I don't know how to make an LJ cut, so this will probably be a long ass entry, so this is a warning!
Anyhow, a few weeks ago I felt like I was on top of the world - started college, met a lot of awesome new friends, stayed up all night having tons of fun. Then things seemed to change like the weather.
Now, I feel like I'm not doing well enough in school. My design professor makes me feel like an idiot. I can't stand her sometimes. She can make you feel sooooo fucking dumb. It's really frustrating. I don't even know if I want to go through with this whole thing because of her. Ugghh.
Then there's the boy. Ok, so I really like this guy a lot. He's going to the Mount, playing lacrosse. But, he's from New York. And he doesn't know if he's coming back to the Mount next year and I don't want to get too attached to him if he's not returning, ya know? And he is probably the most confusing guy in the history of EVER. I'm so used to going out with dudes that cry more than me and are so open about their feelings. Scott isn't. I have no clue what he's thinking or how he's feeling. And it's annoying. I can't deal with it anymore. I kinda wish that I'd just quit liking him so much.
It sucks being single in a couple's world. Everywhere I look there's a couple. Normally I'm an independant, fine-on-my-own type of person, but recently I'm just sad. I honestly don't think that I'm going to find someone that I can deal with for more than 5 minutes. I have a hard time trusting people. I'm tired of getting hurt. Sometimes I feel like there really aren't any good guys left. And then sometimes I jut want to be on my own. I'm hopeless.
I don't know what my problem has been lately. But I'm annoyed with life. What am I going to do with myself?
Anyhow, a few weeks ago I felt like I was on top of the world - started college, met a lot of awesome new friends, stayed up all night having tons of fun. Then things seemed to change like the weather.
Now, I feel like I'm not doing well enough in school. My design professor makes me feel like an idiot. I can't stand her sometimes. She can make you feel sooooo fucking dumb. It's really frustrating. I don't even know if I want to go through with this whole thing because of her. Ugghh.
Then there's the boy. Ok, so I really like this guy a lot. He's going to the Mount, playing lacrosse. But, he's from New York. And he doesn't know if he's coming back to the Mount next year and I don't want to get too attached to him if he's not returning, ya know? And he is probably the most confusing guy in the history of EVER. I'm so used to going out with dudes that cry more than me and are so open about their feelings. Scott isn't. I have no clue what he's thinking or how he's feeling. And it's annoying. I can't deal with it anymore. I kinda wish that I'd just quit liking him so much.
It sucks being single in a couple's world. Everywhere I look there's a couple. Normally I'm an independant, fine-on-my-own type of person, but recently I'm just sad. I honestly don't think that I'm going to find someone that I can deal with for more than 5 minutes. I have a hard time trusting people. I'm tired of getting hurt. Sometimes I feel like there really aren't any good guys left. And then sometimes I jut want to be on my own. I'm hopeless.
I don't know what my problem has been lately. But I'm annoyed with life. What am I going to do with myself?