(no subject)
you want to know what i just realized. your not worth this. your not worth any of this. sure i miss YOU. not the person you are acting like. who the fuck are you now. since when do you listen to the used and red hot chili pepers and watch the OC? your not the same. 3 months ago you would have laughed at me for any of that. and you know what, i'm not wrong for being upset with you. i have no reason to apoligize. i told you i believe you, and if you don't want to believe that, then you should be upset with yourself because you should know i wouldnt lie about that. yes, i lied to you about the other thing, but that was all so i wouldn't hurt you. you don't know how bad it hurt me when we ended. i never wanted to hurt you. never. i know how it feels and it sucks. you are the one who hurt me, why should i EVER forgive you for that? i shouldnt. you don't understand the way i've felt for the last three months. waking up in the middle of the night just wishing i could be with you again. it's the worst feeling in the world, because i know i can never feel the same way again. the memories were great and believe me i'll never forget them. but those memories are just an image in the past and now, being here, it's not worth it. it's not worth crying over. you don't care if you break promises to me anymore, and that just shows me how much you actually don't care. please don't tell me that you do if it's not true. if you actually care, prove it. not once have you apoligized to me for anything. i'm not going to say sorry because i didn't do anything wrong. if you want to throw away our friendship it's your choice. but i can't control it anymore. i've said all i can say and i've apoligized more than a million times. it's up to you to make things right, and if you don't want to. then i guess we just have to let go.