Famous last words..
Baby, I said FIGHT FIGHT, and I meant it.
Actions speak louder than words.
This year sucks. Junior year- the most important of all years, and I'm doing terrible. I can't help it. I try in one class, and do terrible in the other. I can't do anything. There is so much drama, and miserable-ness. I can't seem to settle on one boy, I can't find a relationship that will last. What is wrong with me? Ryan and I had a good 2 weeks or so, but where did that end up? We're barely friends anymore. Connor is honestly the biggest douchebag I've ever met in my life. No, I'm not just saying that because I hate him, or because he bitches at me atleast twice a month. He always gets high. He said "I won't ever be like those guys.. getting high all the time." Right. That promise went down the drain. I can't control what he does in his life, or how he fucks it up, but I can control what he says and does to me. You've done it, stupid, you've hurt me. Get over it. You spend so much time telling me how much you hate me.. I understand, there's no need to tell me over and over again. I hate you. I love you. I care about you. I don't. Just leave me alone.
Amanda's party. I talked to two new people. Kyle Grant, finally. And Chris Cox. Chris and I have been talking alot lately and I think I'm interested.. I hope he is too. I think we might hang out next week, cause there's no school. I want things to go well. Nothing with Adam is ever going to work out. Hello, you live in Albany. Hello, I'm never going to see you. I'm always excited to be talking to you, which is basically every minute, but then again I think of how many pretty girls you could have and I give up hope. I like you so much, but I hate sitting and thinking about it. I just want to find someone, and soon. I'm horny as hell. I need sex soon. I can't deal anymore. Fuck me. :/
Right at this very moment, I've been listening to Saving Litchfield for the past hour. 7 songs on repeat. They're absolutely incredible. I can't get enough. All time low, Mayday, Just surrender, Mandy k & Every avenue played at Xtreme last night. I was supposed to go, but 3 people bailed on me. It was probably an amazing show, and because of my shitty friends, I couldn't be there. Whatever. Scary kids next Saturday, third time seeing them. They're just.. great. Connor will probably be there, he better leave me the fuck alone. I want revenge on him, but I'm going to be good, and stick with not doing anything. If he wants to get his little friends to gang up and bitch at me, so be it. He's so immature.
I need to find a new friend.
Someone I can tell everything to.
Someone who will be there for me no matter what.
Someone who will hang out with me on Friday nights
and watch lame shows on tv.
Someone who will let me cry on their shoulder
and wipe my tears away.
Whether it's a boy or a girl,
I want to find someone.
To all my best friends,
I love you with everything I have, and am.
Thank you.
<3