(no subject)

[________chris]

So as of right now
I couldnt feel more
shity if I tried
"I feel as empty as
the lungs of those,
still waiting to
come into this world."
That pretty much explains it

I must say these past
few weeks are
freakin the HELL
out of me!!
I just see so many
couples now and
damnit I'm all sad
Because its been so long
sense I have actually been
with someone

I do like this one girl
She sooooo beautiful
I dont think she even
knows I exist. I am
waaaay to afraid to talk to
her though. And the
really suckie part is
She is this thing called
a a"mormen" I dont think
thats how you spell it
well anyways it is a
religion that doesnt
allow you to date
till you are 16
and is all about
pre-material sex being
evil...But I dont think
I want to date her right
now. Ijust really really
really really really really
really really really really
want to meet her and get
to know her.
But....damnit I am to afraid
But on a better...
Well no actually not better ha

Um... I am a dumbass

I'm sorry forget everything I say
to you, because no matter what
I say how hard I try nothing
I do will make a diffrence
I would do anything ANYTHING for you
know that..because thats just
how much of a fucking loser I am
just....UGH I am glad you are happy
But here is a hint incase we ever
talk again
Whenever I say I am "happy" or
"happy for you", I'm lying.
I am truly happy for you
But it fucking kills me.
I'm sorry your the one it had to be
I wish I didnt think about you so
much either.
But like I've said to so many
people somany times before "you
can NOT control your feelings"