I'll sing along the whole day through,
MOTHERFUCKER.
i just wrote a really great entry and deleted it, and its too frustrating to rewrite.
Basically, I dont want this year to end, i'm going to miss a hundred and one things about bridgewater and all of the amazing people i've met.
I dont know what im going to do this summer without my quadpod and burnout nation and the drunk dream team.
I'm going to miss lindsey and jelly and erica and bonfils and shanon and sarah and steele and cici like no other.
Who's going to tell lindsey and i how adorable we are and call us sugar and pony and take us for milkshakes and get us free tshirts?
Who's going to take us on rides and almost hit a parked car and a mailbox and then turn around and look for the chickens?
Who's going to make bullfrog and insist that we play power hour?
Who's going to be my buddy that can relate to all the DR bullshit?
Who's going to take the best drunk pictures ever with me?
Who's going to be my American Idol and talk to me about all of our troubles?
Who's going to stumble around Geisert 317 yelling fuck you and making sound effects?
I'm usually one who is apt to initiate and embrace change, but for some reason i just want to pause this year and put it on repeat. I don't know but I never imagined it would be this difficult to say goodbye, even to the ones who i know i'll see next year, but especially everyone whos leaving and i feel like i'm never going to see again.
I think im just stressed and nervous about the next couple of weeks. I leave tomorrow afternoon and then tuesday i need to unpack and do laundry and then pack for the next week and on wednesday leave for Garden State horseshow and work until Saturday and then leave and go straight to Old Salem until Wednesday and then unpack and laundry and pack a million and one things for ireland and then thursday is my going away party and then sunday i am leaving for 3 and a half months and then i come home for 5 days, unpack, laundry and repack and its back to virginia i go. i just don't know if i am strong enough mentally, physically and emotionally to do all of it. i doubt myself a hundred times over and i hate it. but i think i can do it, i have to. i feel like everything that ive been doing is exactly what i need to do and if i dont things arent going to work out right. i just need to dig in and i can accomplish everything i want to. sometimes it just feels like sleeping is a waste of time and that theres never enough time so i should just skip it and do as much as possible. I'm ready for life and sometimes i don't think that it's ready for me.
i just wrote a really great entry and deleted it, and its too frustrating to rewrite.
Basically, I dont want this year to end, i'm going to miss a hundred and one things about bridgewater and all of the amazing people i've met.
I dont know what im going to do this summer without my quadpod and burnout nation and the drunk dream team.
I'm going to miss lindsey and jelly and erica and bonfils and shanon and sarah and steele and cici like no other.
Who's going to tell lindsey and i how adorable we are and call us sugar and pony and take us for milkshakes and get us free tshirts?
Who's going to take us on rides and almost hit a parked car and a mailbox and then turn around and look for the chickens?
Who's going to make bullfrog and insist that we play power hour?
Who's going to be my buddy that can relate to all the DR bullshit?
Who's going to take the best drunk pictures ever with me?
Who's going to be my American Idol and talk to me about all of our troubles?
Who's going to stumble around Geisert 317 yelling fuck you and making sound effects?
I'm usually one who is apt to initiate and embrace change, but for some reason i just want to pause this year and put it on repeat. I don't know but I never imagined it would be this difficult to say goodbye, even to the ones who i know i'll see next year, but especially everyone whos leaving and i feel like i'm never going to see again.
I think im just stressed and nervous about the next couple of weeks. I leave tomorrow afternoon and then tuesday i need to unpack and do laundry and then pack for the next week and on wednesday leave for Garden State horseshow and work until Saturday and then leave and go straight to Old Salem until Wednesday and then unpack and laundry and pack a million and one things for ireland and then thursday is my going away party and then sunday i am leaving for 3 and a half months and then i come home for 5 days, unpack, laundry and repack and its back to virginia i go. i just don't know if i am strong enough mentally, physically and emotionally to do all of it. i doubt myself a hundred times over and i hate it. but i think i can do it, i have to. i feel like everything that ive been doing is exactly what i need to do and if i dont things arent going to work out right. i just need to dig in and i can accomplish everything i want to. sometimes it just feels like sleeping is a waste of time and that theres never enough time so i should just skip it and do as much as possible. I'm ready for life and sometimes i don't think that it's ready for me.