(no subject)
ahhhh...long time, eh? yeah well life has been busy, that's always good. I have grown some definitely, i find that drinking isn't fun anymore unless there is a purpose. I don't know it actually frustrates me that I think that but its weird and hard to explain, it pretty much came naturally and I cant fight it. It is like growing big boobs and you want them to not grow if they are too big. There are so many annoying things to being drunk, for one, friends that are extremely drunk, you have to take care of them. Okay yeah that is always going to happen but seriously its a huge inconvenience when your trying to enjoy yourself. I used to think drinking was amazing, but now its fucking annoying and I'd rather do something else than get belligerent. Of course the crowd I am hanging out with isn't on the same page as I, they are all in the college stages of drinking< seriously I have drank so much that I felt like I have my PHD in drinking. Personally i am done....... it doesn't help that my boyfriend is in that stage when he drinks, he isn't a big drinker but he is immature. I am sitting on the bed in one of the three rooms of this vacation home by myself at 9:39 pm while everyone is outside in the pool drinking. Well one is passed out because she drank too much..... I ask myself " am I depressed?" I dont know how to explain how I am acting right now, it is pretty confusing to me, the things I once used to enjoy is so fun anymore. The growing up factor scares me to death, is this me growing up?? What the fuck is it? ..... I hope I figure it out because it is driving me crazy>>>>>>>