(no subject)
i haven't talked to this boy in about.. ahh.. let's see.
FOUR DAYS.
my heart is broken because i'm not so much sure if he still wants to know me. and that sucks. yea? it sure does. its like, the first time you try on a shirt, like one that makes you feel absolutely amazing. you don't get to buy it, but your mom promises it to you for christmas. then you have to wait. so you still feel it, under your belt that you like it alot. then, you finally get it, christmas morning. and you say WHOA. and you wear it for a while. then it gets dirty and you put it at the bottom of your hamper.
and it never sees the light of day again.
that seems like such a loose analogy for the way that i feel about this boy, but i think thats how he feels about me. i dont think he really wants me anymore. and that makes me kinda sad. actually, extremely sad.
like... chest-racking sobbing sad, sitting in the dark and feeling sorry for myself sad.
i don't so much like this feeling. not being really wanted hurts me so bad. i thouhgt he was really into me, and i suppose he is on principle, i mean, just cause we have so much in common, and like now.. he knows what i'm like, and he just is like.. ahhhm no. no thanks. its a nice place to visit but i wouldnt want to live there.
sigh.
well.. on a lighter note, i am watching The Year Without A Santa, and it's my absolute favorite christmas silly movie.
fucking heat meiser and freeze meiser. they rule.
"I'm Mr. White Christmas, I'm Mr. Snow. I'm Mr. 100 Below."
Jeez Oh Pete. Even this isn't working.