dont bother reading this either...
so its 1am and im the only one awake on this side of the hall in BG...
it has been fun here i guess meeting new people and what not. but i dont know i dont really feel like im wanted here and its no ones fault directly. abbey is trying her best spend time with me and her friends but its not really working out very well. i spent 45 min in the room by myself when she said she was going to the bathroom i had to get up and find her. she is asleep right behind me and im nowhere near tired.
i guess im just being a selfish and wanting her for myself because im leaving tommorow. and i dont know when i will see her next and that sucks. i almost when home 2 hours ago because i didnt feel like i was wanted here but i wanted to see her for as long as i could so i stayed. i didnt stay for her i stayed for me. i will be a mess like i said in the last entry when i leave this place. she will be gone for a while because she doesnt take help from other people.
she is worried about gas money and wont let me help her with it. i have a job now and can help out with whatever i can and she wont let me she would rather not come to see me then take my money for help. i dont know maybe im just trying to make things bad so that it doesnt hurt us when i have to leave her here and go back to where we belong...
i feel really shitty i need to get back to school but i dont think i can do it. i have a very hard time doing things that will help me out in life. i know it sounds stupid but i think im afraid to be succsessfull in life. i let myself down so much and others but im afraid...
im a fool just like everyone else
just another torn page in a book
a bad scar that you cant get ride of
a cut that is just deep enouph to burn
what can i give people that will make me feel like im acutauly here for a reason instead of just a door mat for everyone to walk all over. i feel i will slump back in to the depression that fall brings with winter on its heels. i always get said when the seasons change for the worse. i hate being cold but hate being hot i belive im in the wrong state if i hate both these things i need to move to a place that is 75 year round nothing more nothing less. i would be in heaven.
but for now im stuck in hell and it sucks i wish i could just bring abbey back with me and just live with no cares in the world. but we all know that cant happen to any one of us so why even dream of something so stupid.
one good thing will happen to us and mine had already come so everything is down hill from here i guess. abbey is that only good thing that will ever happen to me.
i hate cowboybebop!!!
im done bitching for now but i will do it again soon im sure...
it has been fun here i guess meeting new people and what not. but i dont know i dont really feel like im wanted here and its no ones fault directly. abbey is trying her best spend time with me and her friends but its not really working out very well. i spent 45 min in the room by myself when she said she was going to the bathroom i had to get up and find her. she is asleep right behind me and im nowhere near tired.
i guess im just being a selfish and wanting her for myself because im leaving tommorow. and i dont know when i will see her next and that sucks. i almost when home 2 hours ago because i didnt feel like i was wanted here but i wanted to see her for as long as i could so i stayed. i didnt stay for her i stayed for me. i will be a mess like i said in the last entry when i leave this place. she will be gone for a while because she doesnt take help from other people.
she is worried about gas money and wont let me help her with it. i have a job now and can help out with whatever i can and she wont let me she would rather not come to see me then take my money for help. i dont know maybe im just trying to make things bad so that it doesnt hurt us when i have to leave her here and go back to where we belong...
i feel really shitty i need to get back to school but i dont think i can do it. i have a very hard time doing things that will help me out in life. i know it sounds stupid but i think im afraid to be succsessfull in life. i let myself down so much and others but im afraid...
im a fool just like everyone else
just another torn page in a book
a bad scar that you cant get ride of
a cut that is just deep enouph to burn
what can i give people that will make me feel like im acutauly here for a reason instead of just a door mat for everyone to walk all over. i feel i will slump back in to the depression that fall brings with winter on its heels. i always get said when the seasons change for the worse. i hate being cold but hate being hot i belive im in the wrong state if i hate both these things i need to move to a place that is 75 year round nothing more nothing less. i would be in heaven.
but for now im stuck in hell and it sucks i wish i could just bring abbey back with me and just live with no cares in the world. but we all know that cant happen to any one of us so why even dream of something so stupid.
one good thing will happen to us and mine had already come so everything is down hill from here i guess. abbey is that only good thing that will ever happen to me.
i hate cowboybebop!!!
im done bitching for now but i will do it again soon im sure...