i dont even know anymore man...
There are so many things for me to be excited about right now.
October 18th, Fiesta Texas
The weekend of Nov. 7th-9th, Houston with the girls/ Minus the Bear show!
Christmas vacation, New Mexico in Ruidoso with my family. Playing in the snow with Jonas!!
March, Las Vegas
May, Mexico City for my 22nd birthday. Spending it with my family from Mexico DF that I haven't seen in ages.
And possibly Salamanca, Spain for Summer I session.... (not for sure)
but I can't fully be excited because there are also a lot of things in the back of my mind that are bothering the hell out of me. Number one being, my health. I'm still completely worried about a lot of things that I'd rather not go into because I've heard some people call it-Karma? WTF, cancer is not karma. It's a disease involving the abnormal growth of cells.
But anyway, I have a small surgery on Monday at the hospital again. It's an outpatient procedure so it shouldn't be too bad, but I'm really starting to hate hospitals. They're so damn depressing. The last time I went to the hospital I saw a really old man on a stretcher and I knew in the back of my mind that he wasn't going to make it and my eyes just swelled with tears. Hospitals also remind me of when my mom had cancer for almost three years and my dad had broken his leg at the same time. Always being in either one of their hospital rooms. I remember having to drive to Houston where my mom was at MDAnderson Hospital at least twice a month for three years.
I don't want that. I really don't want that. I don't want to become a burden on my friends and family. I don't want Jonas to wonder what's going on.
Seriously, if you're reading this right now (even if you don't especially care for me) pray for me. Please.
Even if you don't believe in God or maybe we believe in different God's.... keep me in positive thoughts. I'm in a bad place. I can't think straight. I can't sleep. I try to pretend like everything is fine by trying to stay positive and laughing and such, but this is always on my mind....
(wow, this entry took a depressing turn real fast.)
October 18th, Fiesta Texas
The weekend of Nov. 7th-9th, Houston with the girls/ Minus the Bear show!
Christmas vacation, New Mexico in Ruidoso with my family. Playing in the snow with Jonas!!
March, Las Vegas
May, Mexico City for my 22nd birthday. Spending it with my family from Mexico DF that I haven't seen in ages.
And possibly Salamanca, Spain for Summer I session.... (not for sure)
but I can't fully be excited because there are also a lot of things in the back of my mind that are bothering the hell out of me. Number one being, my health. I'm still completely worried about a lot of things that I'd rather not go into because I've heard some people call it-Karma? WTF, cancer is not karma. It's a disease involving the abnormal growth of cells.
But anyway, I have a small surgery on Monday at the hospital again. It's an outpatient procedure so it shouldn't be too bad, but I'm really starting to hate hospitals. They're so damn depressing. The last time I went to the hospital I saw a really old man on a stretcher and I knew in the back of my mind that he wasn't going to make it and my eyes just swelled with tears. Hospitals also remind me of when my mom had cancer for almost three years and my dad had broken his leg at the same time. Always being in either one of their hospital rooms. I remember having to drive to Houston where my mom was at MDAnderson Hospital at least twice a month for three years.
I don't want that. I really don't want that. I don't want to become a burden on my friends and family. I don't want Jonas to wonder what's going on.
Seriously, if you're reading this right now (even if you don't especially care for me) pray for me. Please.
Even if you don't believe in God or maybe we believe in different God's.... keep me in positive thoughts. I'm in a bad place. I can't think straight. I can't sleep. I try to pretend like everything is fine by trying to stay positive and laughing and such, but this is always on my mind....
(wow, this entry took a depressing turn real fast.)