(no subject)
Dear Diary,
I'm not quite sure how to live life right now. Although I'm not quite sure anyone knows what their doing. I might practice self loathing too often. Or perhaps it's not often enough, which is why I feel as I do now. Everyone keeps telling me different things. It not that I'm persuaded easily, but it's hard to see the truth with all the noise. Maybe I just chose not to see and hear at the same time. Maybe I should open my eyes more. If it was what it's said by the two, I shouldn't feel this way. I shouldn't feel horrible about myself. I shouldn't feel like I owe anything. I feel I'm not an equal in this world. Why do I attract this? Is it me that makes it this way? & if so, someones really should let me know what I do. I feel like I could move anywhere, but still feel the same. Trapped in my mind. It's easy to feel home sick with no home. I'm out of luck. I'm out of touch. & I really just want to know if there's better things for me. Sometime. Somewhere. Somehow. This is dribble. I'm not even happy with my words. I need to stop being judged. I need myself. I'm not sure if I've ever had that though. It's a concept that always slips by me. My mind is turning my lungs black. & perhaps my heart. & perhaps my liver. But probably not. I never understand.