It hurts when you finally realize... [I] will someday die and die alone
Last night was a doozey... I will admit it was one of the funnest times i have had in a really long time, with: Tiffany's lap-dance, hans... enough said..., euchre with tiffany...*sigh*..., neverending Super Mario/Yoshi's Island tournament, hiding in the closet, meeting new people (greg, hans, paul, rudy, kat, JJ, etc.), getting to know others better (Val, Tiffany, X, Tori, Courtney, etc.), and just being in the company of awsome people. I had an awsome time just getting wasted last night... i drank too much and puked my brains out tho. I'm so imberassed i think Paul hates me and i just want him to know i'm NOT in any way like that, he's so nice and i didn't want the first time we met for me to be stumbling drunk and him cleaning up my puke. after i woke up i went to jeremy's and he cleaned me up and took care of me, he's such a good friend... I'll never drink that much again... heavenly hill vodka i probablly drank about 1/3 of that 1/5th to myself... i was trashed! oh well it felt good till i puked. please anyone at that party that was my furst encounter with more that 2 shots of vodka and i never just drank it straight up with a chaser I AM NOT A PUKER!!!!! and don't hate me forever.
sadly last night i thought i was gonna die and liked it... i think i'm clinically depressed or something, i just know since he left me i haven't nearly been the same...
Away2TheSunset: zack...
Away2TheSunset: do you remeber laying in my bed listening to HIM... a really long time ago, i do... i remember looking into your eyes thinking you'd never leave me thinking i'd always have you... you'd look at me and smile and i'd see it in your eyes, i loved the way you used to hold me especially to that song... Gone With The Sin... do you remember that zack? i'd give everything to have that again, and i know it's wrong me saying these things but there is absolutley nothing more in the world i could ever want more than to be your baby, i'd be who i used to be for you i'd give up my life for you, even just another day
Away2TheSunset: i shouldn't say these things i know
Away2TheSunset: you say we can never go back you say i can never be the same and we're not together but i don't care i can't help feeling this way about you it'll never stop
Away2TheSunset: i'm losing my mind i can't hold anything together anymore
Away2TheSunset: i'm sorry zack i'm so sorry! i'm hurting so bad knowing your so close to me and i can't be yours... knowing your ready to move on and never go back, knowing all i want is to be held and honestly loved i wanna feel the way i do when you loved me
Away2TheSunset: i wanna be your only one and i can't i'm just gonna be faced with always sitting here pouring my broken heart out to youknowing your never coming back i love you i worship everything about you i'm dying inside
Away2TheSunset: i'm sorry
Away2TheSunset: i can never just keep my mouth shut i just need you
that was what i said to zack he responded in there but i don't wanna put it in here... i just am emotionally breaking down and mentally falling apart... i never dreamed anything could hurt this bad... i used to be sacred i'd die without him not i'm sacred i won't die at all... this hurts so bad...
"The 9th Circle"
Is it so hard to believe the hearts are made to be broken
Can't you see that the beauty of love lies in constant times
Don't you want our hearts to be torn wide open
Won't you feel the heaven in our endless cry
Oh at least you could try
Let me just to be closer
For this one last time
Let me fall into your arms
It could be alright
Don't let us grow any colder
For this one last time
Let me close to your heart
Ever amazed how bright are the flames we are burning in
Ever smiled of the tragedies we have locked deep inside
Aren't you obsessed by our hand was on the verge of beginning
Won't you cherish your fear of life that keeps us alive
Oh at least you could try
Let me just to be closer
For this one last time
Let me fall into your arms
It could be alright
Don't let us grow any colder
For this one last time
Let me close to your heart
Let me just to be closer
Won't you let me be closer
Just to let us be closer
oh, my Baby
oh
You gotta let it closer
Baby, let me closer
Won't you let it come closer
My Darling
Oh at least you could try
Let me just to be closer
For this one last time
Let me fall into your arms
Thats all for now....
--Emily
He says he needs time... time for me seems to be running out
sadly last night i thought i was gonna die and liked it... i think i'm clinically depressed or something, i just know since he left me i haven't nearly been the same...
Away2TheSunset: zack...
Away2TheSunset: do you remeber laying in my bed listening to HIM... a really long time ago, i do... i remember looking into your eyes thinking you'd never leave me thinking i'd always have you... you'd look at me and smile and i'd see it in your eyes, i loved the way you used to hold me especially to that song... Gone With The Sin... do you remember that zack? i'd give everything to have that again, and i know it's wrong me saying these things but there is absolutley nothing more in the world i could ever want more than to be your baby, i'd be who i used to be for you i'd give up my life for you, even just another day
Away2TheSunset: i shouldn't say these things i know
Away2TheSunset: you say we can never go back you say i can never be the same and we're not together but i don't care i can't help feeling this way about you it'll never stop
Away2TheSunset: i'm losing my mind i can't hold anything together anymore
Away2TheSunset: i'm sorry zack i'm so sorry! i'm hurting so bad knowing your so close to me and i can't be yours... knowing your ready to move on and never go back, knowing all i want is to be held and honestly loved i wanna feel the way i do when you loved me
Away2TheSunset: i wanna be your only one and i can't i'm just gonna be faced with always sitting here pouring my broken heart out to youknowing your never coming back i love you i worship everything about you i'm dying inside
Away2TheSunset: i'm sorry
Away2TheSunset: i can never just keep my mouth shut i just need you
that was what i said to zack he responded in there but i don't wanna put it in here... i just am emotionally breaking down and mentally falling apart... i never dreamed anything could hurt this bad... i used to be sacred i'd die without him not i'm sacred i won't die at all... this hurts so bad...
"The 9th Circle"
Is it so hard to believe the hearts are made to be broken
Can't you see that the beauty of love lies in constant times
Don't you want our hearts to be torn wide open
Won't you feel the heaven in our endless cry
Oh at least you could try
Let me just to be closer
For this one last time
Let me fall into your arms
It could be alright
Don't let us grow any colder
For this one last time
Let me close to your heart
Ever amazed how bright are the flames we are burning in
Ever smiled of the tragedies we have locked deep inside
Aren't you obsessed by our hand was on the verge of beginning
Won't you cherish your fear of life that keeps us alive
Oh at least you could try
Let me just to be closer
For this one last time
Let me fall into your arms
It could be alright
Don't let us grow any colder
For this one last time
Let me close to your heart
Let me just to be closer
Won't you let me be closer
Just to let us be closer
oh, my Baby
oh
You gotta let it closer
Baby, let me closer
Won't you let it come closer
My Darling
Oh at least you could try
Let me just to be closer
For this one last time
Let me fall into your arms
Thats all for now....
--Emily
He says he needs time... time for me seems to be running out