(no subject)
I cant sleep
I cant describe the ache. I wish I could. I wish I knew how to explain it, I wish I knew enough so that I could comprehend these feelings. I cant describe or explain the need that I get about 5 times every day where I just want to burst out crying. Almost every day I'll get to thinking about things and I'll feel the tears rush to my eyes and I force myself to hold them back. I wish I knew what to do, But most of all I just wish things were different. I just wish things were perfect and secure like they once were. I wish to be young again, a carefree, naive, child.
I often wonder.. If I was given the chance to go back again, would I still do things the same way? I like to think I wouldn't, but who knows.
Sometimes I wish that I could leave, I wish to move across the country and become a different person. I could leave everything and everyone behind and I could create a new person. A person with a spectacular life who had no baggage or drama of any kind.
From what i've observed thus far in life, I really hope that I dont live to be very old. I hate to be negative, but when I think about becoming old and I weigh all the hurt and sorrow that you have endured through your life by the time you reach old age, it just doesn't seem worth it anymore. Even at the age I am at, so many things seem to remind me of the struggles and sorrows that I have encountered so far in life.. it doesnt seem feasable for me deal with so many burdens and still maintain great happiness.
I feel as though my actions have tainted so much goodness... for this I am sorry.
They say,"Absence makes the heart grow fonder"
I feel as though,"Fondness that becomes absent makes the heart grow weaker"
I cant describe the ache. I wish I could. I wish I knew how to explain it, I wish I knew enough so that I could comprehend these feelings. I cant describe or explain the need that I get about 5 times every day where I just want to burst out crying. Almost every day I'll get to thinking about things and I'll feel the tears rush to my eyes and I force myself to hold them back. I wish I knew what to do, But most of all I just wish things were different. I just wish things were perfect and secure like they once were. I wish to be young again, a carefree, naive, child.
I often wonder.. If I was given the chance to go back again, would I still do things the same way? I like to think I wouldn't, but who knows.
Sometimes I wish that I could leave, I wish to move across the country and become a different person. I could leave everything and everyone behind and I could create a new person. A person with a spectacular life who had no baggage or drama of any kind.
From what i've observed thus far in life, I really hope that I dont live to be very old. I hate to be negative, but when I think about becoming old and I weigh all the hurt and sorrow that you have endured through your life by the time you reach old age, it just doesn't seem worth it anymore. Even at the age I am at, so many things seem to remind me of the struggles and sorrows that I have encountered so far in life.. it doesnt seem feasable for me deal with so many burdens and still maintain great happiness.
I feel as though my actions have tainted so much goodness... for this I am sorry.
They say,"Absence makes the heart grow fonder"
I feel as though,"Fondness that becomes absent makes the heart grow weaker"