i was the one worth leaving.
it tears me apart, but i can’t keep myself away. i don’t know what i’m looking for; i’m looking for something, and i suppose i’ll know when i find it. it’s at this point where i would give anything for the ability to hate. i’ve torn his personality apart in my mind and looked for something i can’t stand, something that would make me livid enough to turn my back and leave everything cold. most likely being for the best, but i wouldn’t know. i don't know what i'm worth to him anymore.
i know everything has been mandatory, said to fill the voids that everything left in his life. i’ve been lied to, i’ve been cheated out of so much. i'm the shoulder to lean on when things get intense, when he wants peace.
and then again, maybe we do both want the same thing.
fate doesn't exist. love doesn't exist. i'm back to believing in not believing.
i want someone to stop me only because i know nobody will.
i wont pretend i will see you sitting out there anymore.
my hand has none other to hold but yours.
good night darling.