(no subject)
he hates me now for telling him that he's the one that ruined his life and what he's doing wrong. i guess i never really wanted it to end up this way, but looking on the bright side, at least he can't blame me anymore for not doing enough, and say that im just sitting back and watching him fuck up his life. well actually i am as of now, but thats okay. i'd like to see where he is in 5 years and laugh hysterically at him. all the times before, i just got on his back about things and left it alone when he got pissed at me for it. but this time i completely went off on him, it was very vulgar and to the point, and once again he didnt listen and told me "dont ever fucking talk to me again" and "i hope youre miserable and feel like a waste of a person you piece of shit" . . .thats right, love, now everyone can read it, even mommy. lol... but all i can say is that i am so glad that i am not being dragged into a dysfunctional life anymore. honestly, if i stayed with him, i'd probably end up killing myself for lack of a better thing to do. i always said that when we broke up i'd commit suicide..but now that it happened, its like...why would i ever do that? i dont even know what i was thinking the whole time i was with him. im going to find someone who's really worth being with, i'm going to keep getting straight A's and staying away from drugs and alcohol, i'm going to finish school and go to davenport and get a masters degree in network security, im going to get a starting salary of between $60,000 and $90,000. . .and i'm going to live a life that he will never have the option of living. and i can thank myself for that, for starting early and forgetting his ass. fuck yeah. i hate stoners and they can die. how's that for mutual immaturity? ahahah. i love me. i'm so glad i'm happier now. i don't really even feel depressed anymore, just kind of in shock because i never thought he could be so cold. but i accept that, because i figured he'd be cold toward me someday, since thats how he is with the vast majority of every other human being. i hope he gets help and gets his life back on track someday. anyway, i'm going to school soon..so im going to get dressed. kaythanksbye