[fanfic] Let it Mean Something 2
Fanfiction: Let it Mean Something
Author: 9mm_meg
Characters/Pairings: USUK, a smidge of Canada
Rating: T
Part 2 Word Count: 822
Total Word Count: 1682
Warnings: character death, serious angst, short chapters
Summary: The vehicular manslaughter charge has been wiped from his record, but Alfred can't get over what he's done. His last-ditch effort at closure is an attempt to get to know the man he never meant to kill. (Kink meme de-anon)
Disclaimer: Hetalia isn't mine, blah blah
Matthew gives him another worried look, and Alfred does his best to plaster on a smile. He should know better, though (this is Matthew-come on), so it comes as no surprise when his twin’s frown deepens.
Best head off the impending lecture.
“Mattie, look,” he says, giving up on the smile and gesturing helplessly. “What do you expect me to do? I can’t just-just deal with this. I need some closure or something. Anything. I mean… you have no idea what this is like.”
Matthew shakes his head. “Of course I don’t, Al. But I do know that at some point you’re going to have to let this go. It wasn’t your fault.”
“It wasn’t his fault either!”
“I never said it was! It was nobody’s fault, okay? I’ve told you this a million times.”
“Yeah. Believe me, I know…”
“Well, then listen to me for once in your life. I just don’t think going over there is a good idea. I think you should just… just…”
Alfred gives him a frustrated look. “I should just what?”
“You should just let him go. Let him rest. It’s over… It’s been over for months, and stirring up whatever’s left of his memory just seems wrong to me.”
The memory does quite enough stirring on its own, he thinks. He rarely has to help it.
“Please, let it mean something…”
He knows that Matthew is just worried about him, and with good reason. He hasn’t been the same, hasn’t been himself since-then-but he’s trying, damnit, and just letting time do its all-wounds-healing thing or whatever hasn’t done anything for him so far. He’s thought long and hard about this, and right now, it seems like the best option.
He has no reply for his brother. But he knows that nothing Matthew can say to him will change his mind about what he needs to do, so he doesn’t bother coming up with a response.
And because he’s Matthew, he understands, and closes the door softly behind him when he leaves.
=====
James Kirkland had not been pleasant.
It’s clear that he doesn’t share Matthew’s point of view when it comes to who is at fault in the situation, and the man had had no qualms about letting Alfred know that when he’d called.
The conversation had been brief and one-sided.
And deserved, Alfred feels.
However, not thirty minutes after he’d been verbally thrashed and hung up on, his phone had buzzed again, showing another foreign number, but different. He’d already been traumatized enough and felt a bit numb by that point, so he’d answered with less hesitation, thinking that this couldn’t be much worse.
The voice on the other end had been much calmer, much more polite, and just as difficult to understand.
Rhys Kirkland hadn’t blamed Alfred. He’d even gone so far as to assure him that, of the four of them, James was the only one who resented him for what had happened to their brother. He had been understanding, and that was more than Alfred had hoped for when he’d decided to contact them.
He had not, however, offered forgiveness. Only an address across town.
Alfred is standing in front of the townhouse now, wondering if Matthew had been right about not coming. He considers sending his brother a text to let him know where he is, in case of nervous meltdown and a need of emergency evacuation, but he shakes his head and slides his phone back into his pocket before he ever gets it all the way out.
“Hello handsome!”
The voice startles him, and he spots an elderly woman brushing soil off her hands, kneeling in the flowerbed at the front of the building. The pattern of her muumuu is bright enough that she’d blended in with the foliage.
Alfred makes a show of looking around and behind himself before turning back and pointing at his chest questioningly, and the woman smiles, mostly toothless.
“Yes, you,” she chuckles. “And don’t act like you don’t know it either. You here to rent my top floor?”
He’s a bit confused, until he sees the FOR RENT sign taped to the inside of a window directly above him.
The reason for its current state of availability hits him low in the gut, and he takes a deep breath.
Rhys had told him. He’d known what to expect before he’d ever gotten here, but it doesn’t make it any less real for him now that he’s staring up at the dead man’s apartment.
“No… actually I’m not,” he says, tearing his eyes away from the empty windows and offering the woman a hand up out of the dirt. “I was wondering if I could talk to you about… well…”
He suddenly realizes that he’s never once said the name, and now, he can’t seem to get it out.
Luckily, somehow, she understands.
“About Arthur. Of course. Come inside.”
A/N: I'm sorry to keep everyone waiting so long... I meant to post this last Friday, but I'm afraid my entire weekend was gobbled up by AnimeFest and lots of alcohol >_> Apologies! Updates will be much quicker from here on out.
Questions, comments, concrit, or feedback of any sort is welcomed and much appreciated~
Thanks for reading <3
Author: 9mm_meg
Characters/Pairings: USUK, a smidge of Canada
Rating: T
Part 2 Word Count: 822
Total Word Count: 1682
Warnings: character death, serious angst, short chapters
Summary: The vehicular manslaughter charge has been wiped from his record, but Alfred can't get over what he's done. His last-ditch effort at closure is an attempt to get to know the man he never meant to kill. (Kink meme de-anon)
Disclaimer: Hetalia isn't mine, blah blah
Matthew gives him another worried look, and Alfred does his best to plaster on a smile. He should know better, though (this is Matthew-come on), so it comes as no surprise when his twin’s frown deepens.
Best head off the impending lecture.
“Mattie, look,” he says, giving up on the smile and gesturing helplessly. “What do you expect me to do? I can’t just-just deal with this. I need some closure or something. Anything. I mean… you have no idea what this is like.”
Matthew shakes his head. “Of course I don’t, Al. But I do know that at some point you’re going to have to let this go. It wasn’t your fault.”
“It wasn’t his fault either!”
“I never said it was! It was nobody’s fault, okay? I’ve told you this a million times.”
“Yeah. Believe me, I know…”
“Well, then listen to me for once in your life. I just don’t think going over there is a good idea. I think you should just… just…”
Alfred gives him a frustrated look. “I should just what?”
“You should just let him go. Let him rest. It’s over… It’s been over for months, and stirring up whatever’s left of his memory just seems wrong to me.”
The memory does quite enough stirring on its own, he thinks. He rarely has to help it.
“Please, let it mean something…”
He knows that Matthew is just worried about him, and with good reason. He hasn’t been the same, hasn’t been himself since-then-but he’s trying, damnit, and just letting time do its all-wounds-healing thing or whatever hasn’t done anything for him so far. He’s thought long and hard about this, and right now, it seems like the best option.
He has no reply for his brother. But he knows that nothing Matthew can say to him will change his mind about what he needs to do, so he doesn’t bother coming up with a response.
And because he’s Matthew, he understands, and closes the door softly behind him when he leaves.
=====
James Kirkland had not been pleasant.
It’s clear that he doesn’t share Matthew’s point of view when it comes to who is at fault in the situation, and the man had had no qualms about letting Alfred know that when he’d called.
The conversation had been brief and one-sided.
And deserved, Alfred feels.
However, not thirty minutes after he’d been verbally thrashed and hung up on, his phone had buzzed again, showing another foreign number, but different. He’d already been traumatized enough and felt a bit numb by that point, so he’d answered with less hesitation, thinking that this couldn’t be much worse.
The voice on the other end had been much calmer, much more polite, and just as difficult to understand.
Rhys Kirkland hadn’t blamed Alfred. He’d even gone so far as to assure him that, of the four of them, James was the only one who resented him for what had happened to their brother. He had been understanding, and that was more than Alfred had hoped for when he’d decided to contact them.
He had not, however, offered forgiveness. Only an address across town.
Alfred is standing in front of the townhouse now, wondering if Matthew had been right about not coming. He considers sending his brother a text to let him know where he is, in case of nervous meltdown and a need of emergency evacuation, but he shakes his head and slides his phone back into his pocket before he ever gets it all the way out.
“Hello handsome!”
The voice startles him, and he spots an elderly woman brushing soil off her hands, kneeling in the flowerbed at the front of the building. The pattern of her muumuu is bright enough that she’d blended in with the foliage.
Alfred makes a show of looking around and behind himself before turning back and pointing at his chest questioningly, and the woman smiles, mostly toothless.
“Yes, you,” she chuckles. “And don’t act like you don’t know it either. You here to rent my top floor?”
He’s a bit confused, until he sees the FOR RENT sign taped to the inside of a window directly above him.
The reason for its current state of availability hits him low in the gut, and he takes a deep breath.
Rhys had told him. He’d known what to expect before he’d ever gotten here, but it doesn’t make it any less real for him now that he’s staring up at the dead man’s apartment.
“No… actually I’m not,” he says, tearing his eyes away from the empty windows and offering the woman a hand up out of the dirt. “I was wondering if I could talk to you about… well…”
He suddenly realizes that he’s never once said the name, and now, he can’t seem to get it out.
Luckily, somehow, she understands.
“About Arthur. Of course. Come inside.”
A/N: I'm sorry to keep everyone waiting so long... I meant to post this last Friday, but I'm afraid my entire weekend was gobbled up by AnimeFest and lots of alcohol >_> Apologies! Updates will be much quicker from here on out.
Questions, comments, concrit, or feedback of any sort is welcomed and much appreciated~
Thanks for reading <3