trouble in paradise??
there has been so much drama here in staff house for the last little bit and its driving me crazy, making me stress and im sick with worry. its almost too much to handle and if anything else happens it will drive me over the edge and i dont want to know whats down there. i get headaches almost everyday because of all this stress. and its not the job thats stressing me out either. its the people and all the drama they create. earlier this week my roommate decided to have a party at staff house with some of the underage members who are also part-time employees at the club and of course there would be booze there. somehow the general manager caught wind of the plan and told our boss to call my roommate and tell her that if she had the party at staff house my roommate would get fired but if she wanted to still have the party that she was to take it somewhere else. so thats what she did. they decided to go to one of the part-timers cottage and one of the cooks ended up going. he had a lot to drink and was being an ass and called people fags and white trash and was screaming and yelling and telling people to fuck off and was taunting my roommate calling her names and she got ticked so she hit him and it only made him rage more. he ended up waking the members grandparents and parents so the dd drove him back to staff house where he proceeded to drink even more. and of course the yelling and screaming continued and was the loudest thing that ive ever heard in my life. he was stomping up and down the hall and banging on the walls with his fists. then he and the rest of the guys set off roman candles and ended up aiming them at the cars and then the cook aimed the last one at the other guys. and when that was all done the cook came storming into my room in a drunken rage scaring the shit out of me and making me sit up in bed with a start. i figured he was looking for my roommate who had hit him earlier and in his drunken state didnt know that she wasnt here which is a good thing because he would have hurt her. so the rest of the story is that he got fired and left the other day. but the good part of all this is that he told everyone that he realized that he acted way out of line and said he felt horrible and apologized to everyone.
now to the next part of drama which happened tonight. my roommate found out that her ex boyfriend has been dating one of her best friends for 2 months and then i got a text from kevin saying that he passed all his classes which is awesome and means that he'll graduate now and im so proud of him for it. then he also told me that he got the job working at a dealership in milton and we had been talking about it earlier in the week and he said that if he got the job he would be pulling late nights and saturdays until he's considered trained plus he still has an obligation to the farm which means he'll be crazy busy. and what make me worry and makes me really upset is will he even have time for me anymore? i feel like im being left behind since i have 2 years of school left and hes done and getting a job. the thought has been creeping in my head that he wont want to be with someone who still has 2 years of school left and hes starting the next part of his life. i worry that his feelings for me are going to change and i dont know when ill see him again. when he was in school these past few months and i was only an hour north it was easy to see him because our schedules worked easily together. it was a guarantee that i would go see him on my days off every 2 or 3 weeks. but now hes farther away. all this crap is killing me inside. i just want to go home. i want to talk to my friends. i have no one here to unload on and im just so upset and havent been myself in days. even my boss has noticed and has been asking me if im alright. i have a picture of the 2 of us taped to the wall beside my bed and everytime i turn my head its the first thing i see and when i do turn my head and see it, it only makes me cry harder. i dont want to feel like this anymore. im just so lonely right now and need a hug and have someone reassure me and tell me that everything is going to be okay and that it will work itself out for the better.
now to the next part of drama which happened tonight. my roommate found out that her ex boyfriend has been dating one of her best friends for 2 months and then i got a text from kevin saying that he passed all his classes which is awesome and means that he'll graduate now and im so proud of him for it. then he also told me that he got the job working at a dealership in milton and we had been talking about it earlier in the week and he said that if he got the job he would be pulling late nights and saturdays until he's considered trained plus he still has an obligation to the farm which means he'll be crazy busy. and what make me worry and makes me really upset is will he even have time for me anymore? i feel like im being left behind since i have 2 years of school left and hes done and getting a job. the thought has been creeping in my head that he wont want to be with someone who still has 2 years of school left and hes starting the next part of his life. i worry that his feelings for me are going to change and i dont know when ill see him again. when he was in school these past few months and i was only an hour north it was easy to see him because our schedules worked easily together. it was a guarantee that i would go see him on my days off every 2 or 3 weeks. but now hes farther away. all this crap is killing me inside. i just want to go home. i want to talk to my friends. i have no one here to unload on and im just so upset and havent been myself in days. even my boss has noticed and has been asking me if im alright. i have a picture of the 2 of us taped to the wall beside my bed and everytime i turn my head its the first thing i see and when i do turn my head and see it, it only makes me cry harder. i dont want to feel like this anymore. im just so lonely right now and need a hug and have someone reassure me and tell me that everything is going to be okay and that it will work itself out for the better.