[Fic] Under the Spotlight

[99linair]

Title: In The Spotlight
Pairing: Jongin/Kyungsoo
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Smut, Broadway!AU
Length: 3,463 w.
Warning(s): Slight exhibitionism
Summary: Jongin wants the perfomance to be real.
Note: Dumb pwmp basically??



When Kyungsoo decided to become an actor, he imagined himself doing a lot of things. He imagined himself spending long hours rehearsing lyrics for a musical, and equally long hours practicing regular lines. He imagined falling into bed late at night with his makeup still on, and drinking a bitter venti americano in the morning on his way back to the theatre. He imagined hanging out with his fellow actors after hours, and going to bars, and parties, and he should've imagined having a crush on some of them, but that's one thing he didn't.

Jongin is tall, and lanky, with a fat nose, and thick eyebrows, and cracked lips, and other unattractive aspects that somehow are pieced together in such a way that Kyungsoo can't help but be attracted to then, and consequently, Kim Jongin. Kim Jongin is a rookie actor, but then again, so is Kyungsoo, this only being his third play as an on stage actor. He was just an understudy in a couple others, and never actually got to perform. This is Jongin's first play with lines. Not many, but more than he had as part of the ensemble in The Wizard of Oz, and Newsies.

Kyungsoo thinks Jongin is interesting, and that's about it. He invites the younger to get five dollar coffee with him in the morning, and to lunch at the sketchy sushi place during breaks, but nothing ever comes of it. There may have been a look here or there, and some hand touches, but none of it makes Kyungsoo's heart flutter like such moments would make any of his characters do. Moments like that don't really exist, according to him. Looks are just looks, and hand touches are just the brushing of skin, and they don't mean anything underneath that. Some people enjoy drawing a deeper meaning out of things, but Kyungsoo doesn't. The characters he plays do, but it's easier if he himself, in his everyday life, is a blank slate, with limited interpretations of him, it makes it easier to mold himself into the characters he plays.

The play he is currently staring in is titled, "Let's Talk About Love". He's rather looking forward to it, as it is the first play he's starred in that he gets to portray a gay character. Kyungsoo doesn't enjoy putting labels on himself for his sexual orientation, but he wouldn't say he was into females all that much. Dicks were more his speed, he found vaginas rather complicated. He isn't attracted to people often, and he's only slept with a handful of human beings. Kyungsoo just found he could never really bring himself to be romantic enough for others. This play is full of so many cliches, sometimes it feels like the words he's rehearsing will suffocate him, but he gets through it. Kyungsoo plays a 'misunderstood' teenage boy who confesses to his parents that he is in love with the football team captain, and after they kick him out (not before throwing a chair at his head, which doesn't happen before his 'father' gives him a good knock to the face), he runs off to the athlete's house to have a sensual rendezvous in his unbelievably large bed. Since the play is being perfomed before a larger audience, and the director doesn't want to completely censor them just because the characters are gay, he's decided that there will be some heated kissing before they fall into bed, and maybe some touches, but the director doesn't want to turn on the entire audience. He just wants to give them a bit of a shock, and maybe make them rethink what keywords to type into their pornhub search that night.

Kyungsoo, as mentioned, is the teenage boy, and the football captain is Jongin. Kyungsoo likes making out with him, his lips are thick, and soft after he puts a couple coats of lip balm on them, which also makes them taste like a waxy cherry. He likes it, and he likes the little rush he gets when Jongin slides his hands down the curve of his ass, and the way he whipers the line, "I want you, too," into his ear. It doesn't mean anything though, and Kyungsoo knows that, but for some, stupid reason, what happens on stage feels more real to him that the things that happen otherwise, ever do.

The brush of Jongin's hand when he takes his coffee from him in the morning means nothing, and the look he gives him before he leaves his dressing room at night means nothing, and neither does the way he nibbles on his lip during the kiss just before he tugs him onto the bed.

It means nothing to Kyungsoo, as it means nothing to Jongin. He just hopes it'll mean everything to the people watching this show. Kyungsoo wants to wow them, he wants to be stunned because of his performance. He wants them to be angered that their ass will never look as good as his in skinny jeans, not because he is a man, kissing another man.

Tonight is the night of the first preview. A select number of individuals, who for some absurd reason wanted to pay over five hundred dollars for a ticket, get to see the first ever showing. Some hiccups are expected, and no critics are allowed, but the pressure is still there. It settles like a thick cloud over the actors and crew alike. If they mess this performance up, it wikl still hurt their show. "If you fuck this up, it's like fucking me with a sharpest piece of kitchen wear imaginable," the director told them. Such a thing would not be enjoyable for any individuals involved, so all the actors and crew are highly encouraged to figure out what the best they can do is, and then multiple that by a hundred.

"Break a leg," Jongin laughs, the sound tinkling in Kyungsoo's ear. He looks over at the younger that snuck up behind him. He takes a moment to notice what the makeup artist did to conceal Jongin's crinkly lips. He seems to have done a decent job, the light from the stage that reflects off them, don't make them look like the surface of the moon. Kyungsoo probably won't be able to say the same for the feeling when their lips lock during scene six, but he'll try not to make a face.

"Thanks." He murmurs in response, and crosses his arms as he continues his wait in the wings until his cue. His stomach knots in anticipation of scene six, regardless of him telling himself not to feel this way. Kyungsoo can't help it. Still, it doesn't mean anything.

Kyungsoo comes off scene number five, panting somewhat from the nerves. He's congratulated on a flawless performance, and given a couple kisses on the cheeks which are then promptly dusted with powder. His lips are attacked with a minty chapstick, and he's handed a water bottle which he downs. He spills some on his shirt, and he hears a screech, and the designer makes herself feel better by reminding herself the fabric is black, and she smears balm on his mouth again.

"You're beautiful, and I love yo-"

"He's on again in less than five."

His designer huffs, and pats his back. "Go, go, go." She cries.

And Kyungsoo goes, running around the back of the stage until he gets to the curtain he's supposed to be in. Another designer wipes away a smudge of his liner, and then wishes him luck. He assumes his character, and steps out again, onto his beloved stage. He walks up to the door he's supposed to pass through, knocking rapidly on it, before bursting through it.

"Mark!" Jongin shouts his character's name, and sits up on the bed, dropping the latest issue of sports illustrated into his lap. "What are you doing here?" He asks, his tone turning angry. "I told, I fucking told you not to come here. My parents don't know, and I-"

"Shut up." Kyungsoo snaps. "Shut up, Thomas." Kyungsoo doesn't think their names suit them at all. They're two of the very few korean stage actors in the business, and somehow the director managed to find them, and white wash their names. He thinks Jongin looks more like a Andy or an Aidan anyways.

Jongin rises from the bed, and walks over to where Kyungsoo is standing with those eyes, that look that's too mature for a supposedly eighteen year old high schooler to have. The director had to make it eighteen. Underage sex is illegal in any form. Jongin is only nineteen in actuality, Kyungsoo is twenty one.

"Did you come all the way here to yell at me?" Jongin asks, lifting his finger to press the pad against Kyungsoo's chin. He can feel the audience's breath hitch.

"No." He whispers.

"Well then what did you come here for, Mark?"

Kyungsoo hates this play with all his guts, he realizes.

"You." He murmurs.

"I didn't hear you."

Fuck you, he thinks. "You, I said you, Thomas. I want you."

The audience tenses even more. That's when their lips connect, and Kyungsoo feels a spark in his stomach. Jongin's lips feel like they're home to every crevice on the entire earth, but Kyungsoo likes it. He likes how they make him feel like they're his home. He thinks he's a little too into his character, but he indulges the feeling so that he can finish the performance.

Kyungsoo ignores the audience, as he kisses Jongin in the ways the director instructed them to do, and he shudders as the younger's palms glide across his ass. "I want you, too." He gasps involuntarily at the unscripted squeeze.

Shit." He hisses.

"Please don't." Jongin chuckles as he brings their lips together again, almost forcefully. He slips his hands underneath Kyungsoo's thighs, and brings him over to the bed. He was never supposed to be carried, he was supposed to be gracefully tugged by his hand. What the fuck is Kim Jongin doing.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Kyungsoo asks, and his words are muffled as Jongin kisses him again, pulling the blankets over both of them. The sheets are white, with light from the bed coming through to show their silhouettes. They're just supposed to tumble around and make it look like they're having sex.

"I'm so hard right now."

"Shut the fuck up, and stick to the script."

Suddenly, Kyungsoo feels his fingers instinctively wrap around the object they've been guided to. He feels a tingle run up his spine.

"Fuck, you really are hard."

He can see the gleam of Jongin's stupid grin even under the sheets.

Kyungsoo scrambles to get out, call it off, but it's still their scene, and he rather not make the director feel like he's being fucked in the ass by a sharp kitchen utensil. Besides, Jongin pins him down by his waist before he can escape.

"I want this to be real. It's a preview. Let's give them what they came here for." Jongin whispers as he dips his head and begins sucking gently on Kyungsoo's neck.

His head is spinning. This isn't happening. Maybe it's the lack of air under these blankets, or maybe it's that he's anxious about how much concealer he'll have to use to hide the hickeys tomorrow.

Jongin stops, and looks down at him. Kyungsoo meets his eyes, darts his gaze away, and then slowly draws it back.

"Do you want this?"

Kyungsoo emits a soft whine.

"Even just a little bit."

Kyungsoo bites his lip, and shifts his hips.

"Answer me." Jongin grinds down, brushing their clothed cocks together.

Kyungsoo moans. "Y-yes, I want this."

He might regret it tomorrow, or even later tonight. It can't possibly mean anything. They're actors on stage, and Jongin is a teenager with a boner and a dumb idea.

And Kyungsoo is a homosexual male who hasn't been laid in a couple months, and this is why he doesn't like labels.

Jongin makes out with him so heatedly, their lips brushing against each other's, and those little seductives bites to his lower lip that Kyungsoo likes so much, almost distract from the younger actor's hand diving into his tight pants.

Kyungsoo is not expecting the soft, gentle strokes. The ones that make his toes curl, and his knees shoot for the ceiling. The ones that makes his throat allow a "Dammit, Jongin!" to rip out. He wasn't expecting that.

"It's Thomas."

"Shut up, Thomas, and fuck me."

Jongin chuckles, and continues to stroke Kyungsoo's length with his calloused dancer fingertips in fluid movements that reduce the older to a panting mess. His sweaty bangs stuck to his forehead, and his liner dripping into an even more dramatic cat eye.

"Pl-please." Kyungsoo can't believe himself. "It feels so good."

"I could touch you for hours, but can you handle it, baby?"

Baby.

"I want you inside of me." Kyungsoo moans, hands gripping at Jongin's t-shirt, wishing he could feel up the abdomen underneath, but if he strips him down too far, it'll be even worse coming out from under these sheets.

"Do you think we have time for that?"

Since it's a preview, they can be onstage for as long as they want, as well, this is the last scene, and the director can shut it down at any moment. Kyungsoo doesn't know why he hasn't already, and it makes him nervous.

"Yes. Do it. You brought me this far, finish it."

Jongin doesn't protest much after that, as he unbuckles his pants, and slides them down his thighs. Kyungsoo wishes he could see the full visual, but sadly, he cannot. He feels his own jeans being tugged off, along with his briefs, and two not nearly wet enough fingers sliding into his hole.

"Fuck," Jongin hisses. "You're already so wet, baby."

Kyungsoo slaps his shoulder. "Never say that to a boy. Ever."

Jongin works him open with his fingers, and Kyungsoo lays back and enjoys the pleasureful pain, and the small whispers of, 'you're so tight', 'such a good boy, just a little more'. He pumps Jongin's cock at the same time, and the more he does, the more massive it feels, and the more his entrance twitches and aches to be filled by it.

Jongin doesn't warn him before pushing in.

Kyungsoo curses out in an embarrassing jumble of his mother tongue and the language of his home, New York City, as he stretches around Jongin's length, feeling it pulse inside of him, and press deep to his prostate. Then pulling out, and slamming back in. Jongin rocks himself back, pulling all of the way out, and then slamming all the way in, again. Kyungsoo moans, and he can't help it, gasping, and gripping at the younger's shoulders. Jongin pulls out, and pushes in, and pulls out, and pushes in until Kyungsoo feels like he's going to tip over the edge and into orgasm. He just needs Jongin to do it one more time.

He doesn't.

Kyungsoo feels himself being flipped over.

"Ride me."

He looks down and spots Jongin's wrecked features, that fat nose, and thick eyebrows, and swollen, red, crackled lips. He leans down and kisses him softly, as he presses down on his cock again. Jongin's mouth falls open, and Kyungsoo rides him. He rolls his hips, gyrating them to give himself an overdose of well earned pleasure, his hands pressed flat on the younger's chest. He rides Jongin until he reaches his climax, cumming over the other's stomach, and pulling off before Jongin can do the same inside of him.

Kyungsoo pulls himself back into his jeans, and wipes under his eyes, and although he's breathing like he just ran a 10k triathlon, he manages to tug the sheets off, and climb out of the bed.

"Where are you going?" Jongin asks, sounding almost perplexed.

Kyungsoo zips up his fly. "For a shower." He says, lips void of any curl.

Jongin looks a little stunned. "Don't you want to cuddle?"

Kyungsoo turns around and looks at the view of the crimson stage curtains. The lights are dimmed, and from the lack of any sound, but his own disappointment in himself, the theatre must be empty. The audience must've gone home to bed with their lovers, or to their favorite coffee houses with their friends. The director must've ended the show not soon after Jongin shoved his hand down his pants.

He looks back at the younger. "No." He says. "The show is over. Your part is done."

Kyungsoo walks off the stage, and decides he'll let himself wear his shame long enough for a trip to the Square to get a tea, and call the director. He leaves the theatre, and thinks about white versus green at this hour as he finds the director's number in his phone.

"It was great, you did an outstanding job, minus the explicit scene you wrote in for yourself at the end." The director doesn't sound angry, or upset, more like he's stifling a laugh behind his words.

Kyungsoo crosses the street, and tries to protest, tries to explain, but the director doesn't care.

"I closed the curtain to spare you. I let you finish to spare myself."

Kyungsoo feels as if he might cry. He's not supposed to feel like this. He's not supposed to care what others think of him, but there's something, something about that goddamn stage making everything and anything feel so real. It's his character's problems that keep him awake at night, not his own, and even the time he hired a hooker to indulge him in his paraphilic fantasies, isn't as humiliating as this. No one even saw this.

"I hope his dick didn't feel like a whisk."

Kyungsoo hangs up. He also decides on some korean sejak tea.

Kyungsoo goes into the theatre the next day wearing cheap sunglasses and a hangover brought to him by the bottle of smirnoff he drank from last night to help him fall asleep. No one says anything about scene six of last night. No one says much, but Kyungsoo only goes down two hallways to get to the rooftop to take a smoke.

He's been saving his 'black devils' for a special occasion. Kyungsoo doesn't have special occasions though, so he takes one out anyways, and lights it. He places it between his lips and pushes the door open. His tired eyes are met with Jongin sitting on edge. He looks over, with that stupid fucking grin from last night.

"Hey." He pats the space beside him.

Alright, if he's not going to say anything about it, it doesn't hurt to stay. Kyungsoo walks over to him, taking the cigarette out of his mouth, and blowing out the smoke. He leans against the concrete barrier.

"Does your ass hurt?" Jongin asks.

Kyungsoo was wrong.

"No, Thomas, it doesn't. I barely felt a thing."

"That's not what it sounded like."

Kyungsoo takes another drag. He doesn't like talking to people like this. He absolutely hates it.

"When I first met you, I didn't think you were that type of person." He thinks of people in concepts, not in stereotypes, and it's hard for him not to. It's also hard for him to explain.

There's a small, hesitant silence.

"What type of person am I?"

Kyungsoo doesn't answer, he doesn't plan to. He finishes his cigarette, and drops it off the side of the building, watching it fall into the street in front of an oncoming cab.

The silence continues into a seemingly awkward one. For Jongin, maybe, although not for Kyungsoo. He's enjoying this silence.

Jongin reaches over and brushes his hand against Kyungsoo's rather deliberately. It makes his heart beat a couple beats faster, and then it slows again. Nothing else.

"Would you ever want to do...what we did, again?" The younger asks, sheepishly. "Maybe in my real bed?"

Kyungsoo pulls his hand away. "No."

He doesn't need to look over to see that Jongin is shocked by his response.

"Why not?"

"Why?"

Pause.

"...because I liked it, and I want to do it again."

Kyungsoo shakes his bangs. "No. It was a performance, on a stage, during a show. Maybe your character liked it, while you were in your character, but you didn't."

"Maybe I like you."

"Your character likes my character."

"You're making no sense." Jongin accuses.

Kyungsoo doesn't respond to that either. Instead, he leans over the concrete edge long enough to get a rush, far enough to feel like the slightest push would send him over the edge.

Then he leans back, and walks away, returning to the theatre.

- idk i like the plot?
- i want to write more of this au
- i rly like this ksoo