[Fic] Something Short of a Miracle
Title: Something Short of a Miracle
Author: 93rdfragment
Pairing: KaiSoo
Rating: PG (I’m not too sure what to rate this as…)
Warning: transgender Kyungsoo (transman or FTM)
Summary: Kyungsoo finds out he’s pregnant.
***
Pregnant. The device in Kyungsoo’s hand is flashing “pregnant” on the small screen. There’s a rush of euphoria that crashes over him and pulls his lips up into a wide grin. He’s pregnant! He’s pregnant with Jongin’s child!
…he’s pregnant with Jongin’s child.
And the happiness dissipates, to be consumed by worry. He knows it’s unfounded. Jongin has assured him multiple times that they both want this and that Jongin doesn’t see him as a freak. They both made this decision. And Jongin loves him.
He’s learned not to doubt that love after 3 years of being together. There are rare times though that his insecurities visit him. And surely, the visits will become even more frequent now that he’s pregnant and emotionally unstable. He stares forlornly at the pregnancy test on his hand.
How are they going to get through people prodding into their lives just because he’s a pregnant man, so to speak? They wouldn’t even consider him a man. They’d call him a freak of a woman, a hypocrite. First, trying to be a man. And then, getting pregnant. They’d see it as a clear sign he hadn’t been resolute. Even the LGBT community wouldn’t understand. Then what of their child? She or he would surely be ridiculed as well for a having a parent like him. He doesn’t want their child to grow up being shunned and bullied by everyone.
He shouldn’t have gone through with this. He should have just buried his desire of having his own biological kids 6 feet under. He should have thrown away his wish to give Jongin children of their own. They should have just adopted. Or maybe stuck with their 3 adorable dogs.
“Kyungsoo?”
He turns around to see Jongin’s worried face before he gets wrapped in a warm embrace. Arms grip him tight and a hand slides up and down his back in a soothing manner. He reciprocates by hugging Jongin around the waist and burying his face onto a shoulder. When Jongin tells him not to cry and that they could just continue trying, it’s then he realizes that his tears have soaked into Jongin’s shirt. And that the other had misunderstood his sorrow. He pulls away far enough to look at Jongin while still in the embrace.
“I’m-” His voice falters as another sob comes out of his lips. Jongin kisses him briefly.
“I love you, Kyungsoo. It’s okay. The doctor did say there’s a half chance you won’t get pregnant on our first try. Maybe a couple more months of being off T injections will help. We’re not rushing, remember? I won’t rush you.”
He shakes his head and grips Jongin’s shirt tighter. After clearing his throat, he looks straight into Jongin’s eyes. Concern is evident and it makes him smile a little. “Jongin. I’m pregnant.”
The change in Jongin’s demeanor is laughable. There’s the slow intake of information then the shock and ultimately the unadulterated joy. So joyous that he’s soon hugged even tighter than before then lifted off his feet as they turn in a circle. There’s also barely contained laughter making its way to his worried heart that has him smiling and laughing as well. Once he’s back on his feet, Jongin kisses him passionately and, as cliché as it is, he melts under it. His mind is a mess as Jongin continually murmurs “I love you” with each fervent kiss. Blame it on the hormones.
When the kisses finally end, they’re trying to get their breaths steady as their foreheads lean onto each other. “Kyungsoo, you’re amazing. The best that’s ever happened to me.”
“Stop being so cheesy.” He tries to glare but a smile is tugging at his lips. The way Jongin is looking at him, as if the greatest gift had been presented, brings back the tears in his eyes. Only Jongin. Only Jongin could think of him like that even under the current circumstances. Only Jongin would love him for everything that he is. And he cries.
He could feel Jongin looking at him intently, studying him. The words are carefully said as if Jongin feared he would break down even further. “Those aren’t tears of joy, are they? You were crying earlier too. What’s wrong, Kyungsoo? Aren’t you happy?”
“I am! I want this child.” His glare and firm voice crumble away as his eyes burn with tears. Then his voice becomes soft and his brows furrow in distress. “I want this child. Jongin, I love her already. Or him. But is that enough? Will that be enough for all the controversy and the problems she or he will have to face just because I’m their parent? Everyone will scorn our child because of me.”
“Kyungsoo.”
He cuts Jongin off before the other could speak further. “I know we’ve talked about this. I know. I just - I worry, Jongin. I’m the one who’s considered a freak in this relationship. And it’s going to affect our child whether we protect them or not.”
Hands immediately cup his cheeks and lips press a gentle kiss on his own. “You are not a freak, Do Kyungsoo. You are you. There’s nothing else to it. I’m worried too, you know. But I’m more happy than worried. We have the right to have a family of our own and no one can take that away from us. We’ll homeschool our child if we have to. And teach them self-respect. We’ll teach them that love is a beautiful thing and that they had been born out of such beauty. We’ll love our child more than any other parent does their own. And we’ll be happy. Despite the hardships we’ll face - together I should add - we will be happy, Kyungsoo. I promise.”
His hormones suck because by the time Jongin finishes speaking, he’s cried a bucketful of tears. And probably snot. Jongin just kisses him and brings him into an embrace again. He cries another wet patch on Jongin’s shirt. And when he’s done, a tissue carefully wipes away his tears and snot. The giggle from his lover makes him embarrassed enough to punch Jongin’s arm.
“Is that any way to treat me after you’ve ruined my shirt from crying?” Jongin’s pout has him laughing. The other smiles at the wondrous sound.
“I love you, Jongin.” This time, it’s him who initiates an avid kiss.
“I love you too, Kyungsoo.” Jongin leads them out of the bathroom and into their bedroom. He finds himself on top of their bed with a half-naked Jongin hovering over him. They share a heated kiss before Jongin whispers onto his lips. “Let me show you just how beautiful you are and how much I’m in love with every inch of you.”
***
Author’s Notes: For hearteulips! This is actually part of a bigger story. Not sure if some of you have read through hearteulips compilation of the trans!kaisoo I’ve sent her through SMS. If you have, this is around 3 years after that. To be clear, Kyungsoo was a woman who identifies as a man but is still sexually attracted only to men. He takes testosterone injections to make himself look more like a man but, at this point in time, has stopped injecting them to get pregnant. Yes, this is possible and has already happened. Regarding this AU, I’ll probably post one-shots/drabbles infrequently. Maybe. I’m not promising anything since I still have the abnormals!AU to write. With that, have a good day everyone!
Author: 93rdfragment
Pairing: KaiSoo
Rating: PG (I’m not too sure what to rate this as…)
Warning: transgender Kyungsoo (transman or FTM)
Summary: Kyungsoo finds out he’s pregnant.
***
Pregnant. The device in Kyungsoo’s hand is flashing “pregnant” on the small screen. There’s a rush of euphoria that crashes over him and pulls his lips up into a wide grin. He’s pregnant! He’s pregnant with Jongin’s child!
…he’s pregnant with Jongin’s child.
And the happiness dissipates, to be consumed by worry. He knows it’s unfounded. Jongin has assured him multiple times that they both want this and that Jongin doesn’t see him as a freak. They both made this decision. And Jongin loves him.
He’s learned not to doubt that love after 3 years of being together. There are rare times though that his insecurities visit him. And surely, the visits will become even more frequent now that he’s pregnant and emotionally unstable. He stares forlornly at the pregnancy test on his hand.
How are they going to get through people prodding into their lives just because he’s a pregnant man, so to speak? They wouldn’t even consider him a man. They’d call him a freak of a woman, a hypocrite. First, trying to be a man. And then, getting pregnant. They’d see it as a clear sign he hadn’t been resolute. Even the LGBT community wouldn’t understand. Then what of their child? She or he would surely be ridiculed as well for a having a parent like him. He doesn’t want their child to grow up being shunned and bullied by everyone.
He shouldn’t have gone through with this. He should have just buried his desire of having his own biological kids 6 feet under. He should have thrown away his wish to give Jongin children of their own. They should have just adopted. Or maybe stuck with their 3 adorable dogs.
“Kyungsoo?”
He turns around to see Jongin’s worried face before he gets wrapped in a warm embrace. Arms grip him tight and a hand slides up and down his back in a soothing manner. He reciprocates by hugging Jongin around the waist and burying his face onto a shoulder. When Jongin tells him not to cry and that they could just continue trying, it’s then he realizes that his tears have soaked into Jongin’s shirt. And that the other had misunderstood his sorrow. He pulls away far enough to look at Jongin while still in the embrace.
“I’m-” His voice falters as another sob comes out of his lips. Jongin kisses him briefly.
“I love you, Kyungsoo. It’s okay. The doctor did say there’s a half chance you won’t get pregnant on our first try. Maybe a couple more months of being off T injections will help. We’re not rushing, remember? I won’t rush you.”
He shakes his head and grips Jongin’s shirt tighter. After clearing his throat, he looks straight into Jongin’s eyes. Concern is evident and it makes him smile a little. “Jongin. I’m pregnant.”
The change in Jongin’s demeanor is laughable. There’s the slow intake of information then the shock and ultimately the unadulterated joy. So joyous that he’s soon hugged even tighter than before then lifted off his feet as they turn in a circle. There’s also barely contained laughter making its way to his worried heart that has him smiling and laughing as well. Once he’s back on his feet, Jongin kisses him passionately and, as cliché as it is, he melts under it. His mind is a mess as Jongin continually murmurs “I love you” with each fervent kiss. Blame it on the hormones.
When the kisses finally end, they’re trying to get their breaths steady as their foreheads lean onto each other. “Kyungsoo, you’re amazing. The best that’s ever happened to me.”
“Stop being so cheesy.” He tries to glare but a smile is tugging at his lips. The way Jongin is looking at him, as if the greatest gift had been presented, brings back the tears in his eyes. Only Jongin. Only Jongin could think of him like that even under the current circumstances. Only Jongin would love him for everything that he is. And he cries.
He could feel Jongin looking at him intently, studying him. The words are carefully said as if Jongin feared he would break down even further. “Those aren’t tears of joy, are they? You were crying earlier too. What’s wrong, Kyungsoo? Aren’t you happy?”
“I am! I want this child.” His glare and firm voice crumble away as his eyes burn with tears. Then his voice becomes soft and his brows furrow in distress. “I want this child. Jongin, I love her already. Or him. But is that enough? Will that be enough for all the controversy and the problems she or he will have to face just because I’m their parent? Everyone will scorn our child because of me.”
“Kyungsoo.”
He cuts Jongin off before the other could speak further. “I know we’ve talked about this. I know. I just - I worry, Jongin. I’m the one who’s considered a freak in this relationship. And it’s going to affect our child whether we protect them or not.”
Hands immediately cup his cheeks and lips press a gentle kiss on his own. “You are not a freak, Do Kyungsoo. You are you. There’s nothing else to it. I’m worried too, you know. But I’m more happy than worried. We have the right to have a family of our own and no one can take that away from us. We’ll homeschool our child if we have to. And teach them self-respect. We’ll teach them that love is a beautiful thing and that they had been born out of such beauty. We’ll love our child more than any other parent does their own. And we’ll be happy. Despite the hardships we’ll face - together I should add - we will be happy, Kyungsoo. I promise.”
His hormones suck because by the time Jongin finishes speaking, he’s cried a bucketful of tears. And probably snot. Jongin just kisses him and brings him into an embrace again. He cries another wet patch on Jongin’s shirt. And when he’s done, a tissue carefully wipes away his tears and snot. The giggle from his lover makes him embarrassed enough to punch Jongin’s arm.
“Is that any way to treat me after you’ve ruined my shirt from crying?” Jongin’s pout has him laughing. The other smiles at the wondrous sound.
“I love you, Jongin.” This time, it’s him who initiates an avid kiss.
“I love you too, Kyungsoo.” Jongin leads them out of the bathroom and into their bedroom. He finds himself on top of their bed with a half-naked Jongin hovering over him. They share a heated kiss before Jongin whispers onto his lips. “Let me show you just how beautiful you are and how much I’m in love with every inch of you.”
***
Author’s Notes: For hearteulips! This is actually part of a bigger story. Not sure if some of you have read through hearteulips compilation of the trans!kaisoo I’ve sent her through SMS. If you have, this is around 3 years after that. To be clear, Kyungsoo was a woman who identifies as a man but is still sexually attracted only to men. He takes testosterone injections to make himself look more like a man but, at this point in time, has stopped injecting them to get pregnant. Yes, this is possible and has already happened. Regarding this AU, I’ll probably post one-shots/drabbles infrequently. Maybe. I’m not promising anything since I still have the abnormals!AU to write. With that, have a good day everyone!