Grab Bag Round: Orbiting My Gravity (2/3)

[91daesmods]

“I'm here,” Yixing calls out to the empty hallway when he opens the door to Junmyeon’s apartment. He sees his boyfriend’s running shoes, right next to Kyungsoo’s unmistakable pair of black converses. There's also glossy Oxfords that have his brows furrowed in confusion as he drags his sore, socked feet across the wooden floor.

Before he enters the kitchen Junmyeon is already at its door waiting for him. There's a smile on his lips that never fails to lift the weight off of Yixing’s shoulders. He reaches out a hand for Yixing and Yixing takes it without hesitation. Lacing their fingers together, Yixing buries his face on the crock of Junmyeon’s neck, inhaling the strong scent of his boyfriend’s expensive perfume. All his concerns are washed away when Junmyeon wraps his arms around Yixing and squeeze him, his warm breath ghosting his ear. Yixing stays there for who knows how long, forgetting about his curiosity and the shoes at the entrance, about Jongdae and their weird fight. He forgets everything but Junmyeon’s scent and the feeling of his heart beating against Yixing’s skin.

He drags the moment until Junmyeon is pulling him away gently, like he wants to say something. Yixing doesn't let him though, capturing his lips in a passionate kiss and pushing his boyfriend against the wall, the way he knows will make Junmyeon’s legs feel like jelly. He muffles the gasp that escapes his boyfriend’s mouth, sucking at his tongue the way Junmyeon loves. There are steady hands on his neck, warming the skin that was being constantly hit by the wind until minutes ago.

Yixing squeezes his waist, lifting the shirt just a bit so he can drags his cold fingers across the hot skin, sending a shock down the other’s spine. When Junmyeon moans at the contact there's a loud cough, coming from behind him, that's makes Yixing let go of Junmyeon. They panting and already looking like a mess, but Yixing finds the source of the sound.

He is petrified at the sight of Kyungsoo sitting at the table, pretending to be as unfazed as always, though the redness spreading across his neck and ears tell Yixing otherwise. There's someone else too, sitting next to him, staring at them with an amused smile that makes Yixing feel weird.

Junmyeon clears his throat behind him, making Yixing turn to stare at the blush on his face, burning from embarrassment.

“That's a whole new level of PDA,” the unknown guy smiles and Junmyeon forces chuckle to ease the awkwardness in the air.

“It already crossed the line between PDA and Junmyeon’s voyeurism antics,” Kyungsoo jokes and he's smiling at Yixing. Yixing gives him a smile of his own, not having to turn around to know Junmyeon is getting redder and redder every time they speak. Junmyeon quickly jumps in, trying to stop their Tease the Junmeyon game.

“Yixing this is Sehun,” Junmyeon clears his throat, small hand touching Yixing’s low back. Yixing is not sure if it's to reassure him or stead Junmyeon after their semi-public making out.

“It's so nice to finally met the famous Yixing!” Sehun drops his resting face - Yixing finds out it's not intentional it's just how he looks -, smiling at Yixing. There's a glee in his eyes and he's being checked out like you do with competition, but Yixing refuses to let paranoia take over him. “Junmyeon-hyung talks a lot about you. Should I call you hyung?”

“If you want to. Nice to meet you too,” Yixing shakes his hand, feeling Sehun squeeze it more than would be normally acceptable. “I'm sorry I can't say the same though.” That's Yixing trying to sass this guy, and if everyone in the room knows that they prefer to ignore and move on.

“He is the son of my father’s best friend,” innocent and oblivious Junmyeon, smiles and sits down across the other two, pulling Yixing to do the same. “We’ve known each other since Sehun was born,” Junmyeon shrugs. It never fails to make Yixing internally squeal at the adorableness.

“He was overseas for a while,” Kyungsoo helps, but Yixing remains confuse.

“Why you never mentioned him?” He asks in confusion.

“I thought I did though,” Junmyeon stutters and makes Yixing sure he's not being paranoid and this guy is competition, as stupid as it sounds.

So by the end of the night Yixing is sure he doesn't like Sehun. He doesn't like Sehun's badly bleached hair, doesn't like his thick eyebrows. For everything that's sacred, he hates Sehun’s obnoxious laughs that he rarely attempts to hide behind his beer bottle. Yixing makes faces every time he cracks a joke and keeps himself from laughing, doesn't matter how funny it is. He also touches Junmyeon here and there when he thinks Yixing is not looking.

He doesn't say anything though, because they're childhood friends and Yixing doesn't have base for any kind of complaint. Junmyeon would just laugh it off anyways, especially if there is really something. Also Yixing hates to feel paranoid so he just sits there and doesn't laugh at Sehun’s terrible jokes, squeezing Junmyeon’s hand.

He sometimes slides his fingers between the other's thigh until Junmyeon is shyly pushing him away. Yixing focus on drawing invisible circles on Junmyeon’s thighs, sipping his juice to accompany Kyungsoo in his sobriety. Junmyeon and Sehun are far gone the more they enter the night and the conversation escalates.

Yixing finally can breathe when the time on the wall clock tells them it's no longer Friday. Kyungsoo decides he needs to go home and Sehun accepts his offer for a ride. Junmyeon also offers himself to take him but the three of them can see how tired he looks, with purple bags pooling below his eyes and lids barely capable of remaining open for more than a few seconds.

Kyungsoo also offers to take Yixing home but he denies, smile steady on his face as he holds the door open for them.

“I asked Minseok to pick me up here, tomorrow morning,” Yixing smiles and again something flash briefly on Sehun’s eyes.

“Alright, don't forget to use protection kids,” he jokes, heart-shaped smile lifting his cheeks. Sehun also grins as they watch Junmyeon’s face burn for the millionth time.

They wave their final goodbyes when the elevator arrives. Yixing and Junmyeon wait at the entrance until the doors are closed and they're finally alone.

It doesn't last more than a breath, Junmyeon pushing Yixing inside the apartment closing the door behind him with his foot. He almost falls by doing so and Yixing laughs, filling the room with a sound Junmyeon was longing for. Junmyeon himself smiles before approaching Yixing, this time back to his normal clumsy and shy self.

“I really want to kiss you right now,” Junmyeon whisper echoes inside the apartment and through Yixing’s body. He can smells the alcohol in his boyfriend’s breath knowing it the cause of his clumsiness. He also has a bold look in his eyes and his voice is full of second and third intentions, sending a heat down to Yixing's stomach. There's a bit of hesitation from both parts, anticipating thickening the air and making every breath they take harder than the last. Then Yixing is crossing the short distance between them, pulling Junmyeon up and holding him close by the back of his thighs. He's light and Yixing is strong, so he manage to move them to the closest surface, the table in the living room. They don't waste time, clasping their mouths against one another right away.

Junmyeon touches every inch of Yixing’s skin, following the instructions of a map he already traced a long time ago as the other makes sure he's sitting still and secure at the table.

There's no surprise, the familiar feeling of the warmth of their hand, fingers digging in the curves that they know as well as their own. The movement of their mouths together coming as easy as breathing or blinking.

Yixing squeeze Junmyeon’s thighs with full strength this time, teasing with hands close to where he wants. He delights himself with the moans that he takes from Junmyeon’s lips, swallowing every single one with hunger. Everything is so familiar, just the same for whenever they're as intimate as right now.

“Yixing,” Junmyeon half moans, half breaths his name out and Yixing let it get to his head, pulling him closer with his hands on his ass.

“Having a problem breathing, darling?” and Yixing being insanely stable after getting Junmyeon at this deplorable state actually makes him feel hot on the inside.

“Fuck,” Junmyeon gasps, clutching his hands to Yixing’s white shirt and his hair as Yixing visits the soft skin of Junmyeon’s neck. He's nibbling and sucking hard enough to leave the feeling longing but prevent an unwanted spot later.

“We're getting there,” Yixing leaves his neck for after to pull the shirt off of Junmyeon’s body, coming down as soon as it is discarded on the floor. He bites at Junmyeon collar bones, pushing him back to lean on his elbows against the table. Then bites at one of his nipples, earning an encouraging gasp that leads him to lick the other nipple, sucking at the skin around it.

Yixing can't drag this out, with how tired both of them are and having to be up early the next morning. He doesn't think he will anyway, if the way Junmyeon is easily coming apart under him is anything to go by.

His hands keep wandering, tracing the hard lines of Junmyeon’s stomach and squeezing at his soft sides. Junmyeon has his legs wrapped around Yixing’s torso, pulling him and silently begging for some friction Yixing will keep denying until the last moment.

Yixing gets rid of the pants now that they're nothing but a nuisance. He occupies himself with the skin of his stomach, sucking with more strength than before so he could mark his way down.

Just because they have done it countless times before doesn't mean the warm feeling spreading inside Junmyeon is less intense. When his underwear is discarded to the floor or his moans are less when Yixing finally puts his mouth to good use. Licking and sucking around the head of Junmyeon flushed member, Yixing stares into Junmyeon eyes.

“Yixing,” Junmyeon chokes his name out, struggling to keep going, “Condom.”

“It's okay,” Yixing takes his mouth away from the tip, making Junmyeon cry out. He attempts to push him back by the fingers in his hair locks before stopping midway. “That is more than okay, too.” Yixing smiles and Junmyeon can't keep himself from saying his name when Yixing takes him in his mouth again, sinking further than before in one single motion. Junmyeon’s body jerks when the head hits Yixing’s throat. He can't help but think about the raw sensation of his boyfriend’s mouth without the coating layer between them. It intensifies Junmyeon’s reactions, being buried deep inside the velvet-like flesh of Yixing’s mouth. He moans louder than he ever did when Yixing hollow his cheeks, coming up to give the tip small licks. The hand that's not helping with the blowjob, stroking Junmyeon’s shaft at the same rhythm as his mouth sucks, reaches down for his tighs. Yixing strokes Junmyeon's sensitive skin without losing concentration.

Junmyeon sighs, circling his nipples between the tip of his fingers, pinching when he feels a tug on his low stomach and let go of another sinful moan. He forgot how good Yixing is at this, combined with the bare feeling of his mouth and hand Junmyeon doesn't think he's going to last long.

“Yixing please stop, I'm going to come like this,” Junmyeon groans and pulls Yixing up when the other chokes on his cock as a retaliation. Yixing refuses to let go of his cock, tasting the bitter skin for the first time, taking everything he can and even more. It's so good and Yixing regrets not dismissing the condom before, if any of Junmyeon’s reactions are to go by he's loving it too, more than the usual. He regrets not being able to try Junmyeon’s real taste before. He wants more, as much as he can get, but he knows Junmyeon is too tired to keep prolonging it so he speeds up, hand working on his boyfriend’s dick and licking and sucking at the head until Junmyeon’s stomach is clenching and his breath is far from steady. It takes no longer than a minute before Junmyeon is crying out, pulling hard at Yixing's hair and making his moans tremble against his cock.

Junmyeon finally comes inside Yixing’s mouth when Yixing hollow his cheeks, working him through his orgasm. He swallow everything before Junmyeon can even protest. Junmyeon allows his body to collapse against the table, still shaking somehow.

His boyfriend’s taste is bitter but makes Yixing sighs in satisfaction like he is the one who just came, like his painfully hard erection isn't pressing against his jeans, begging to come out and to be touched.

Junmyeon manages to catch his breath after a while, Yixing stroking the inside of his thighs and kissing his hips in the meanwhile. The first things he does is sit up and bring Yixing in by the collar of his shirt, pressing their lips together in a hot mess of a kiss.

Junmyeon hums as he tastes himself in Yixing’s tongue, swallowing every tentative for air of Yixing's between their clasping mouths. Junmyeon mouth still taste like beer, bitter and cold, but Yixing doesn't find it in him to care when Junmyeon’s hands are grabbing him by his ass and pressing their crotches together. That's when Junmyeon realizes Yixing is still fully clothed and hard.

“Let me...” Junmyeon starts coming down from the table but Yixing is faster, pushing him back.

“Don't worry about me. You're tired, we should go to bed,” Yixing says, butting at his own lips.

“No way I'm leaving you hanging after that,” Junmyeon is smiling, popping the button of Yixing’s pants. He finds it hard to say no when Junmyeon looks like a wreck, whispering those words like a secret. “I'll be quick,” he says and Yixing doesn't doubt his promise, with the way he's hard and aching for it.

Junmyeon doesn't waste time, only putting Yixing’s pants down enough so he can pull his pulsing member out. He doesn't wait for Yixing to react, stroking his shaft while he bites at Yixing collarbones, careful enough not to stain the sensitive skin. The harsh brush of Junmyeon’s skin is dry without the help of some lube or his boyfriend saliva, but Yixing still sighs at the touch. He's relieved about getting any kind of friction for his throbbing cock, sending little electric shocks through his body.

Yixing lets his head hang low, nose buried into the crown of hair on Junmyeon’s head and breathing in the scent of his natural shampoo. He knows it's the only part of his boyfriend that smells fresh, body covered in sweat and long dipped in the scent of sex that's makes Junmyeon even more irresistible to Yixing. He moans at the thought, squeezing Junmyeon’s neck when the hand on his cock does the same, tightening its grip and going on a faster pace than before.

Yixing fills himself with images of Junmyeon spreading himself for Yixing to take, crying out Yixing’s name.

He’s more delighted with the view of Junmyeon here, sitting on this table and moaning along with Yixing.

They exchange looks through half closed eyelids, feeling deep pleasure in the sounds he's managing to get out of Yixing. Yixing wonders if he's also thinking about Yixing burying himself inside him, letting him clench around Yixing as he pleases. Either that or Junmyeon really likes the weight of Yixing’s cock on his hands, the skin sliding against skin as the sound of their fast breaths fill the room, along with Yixing’s and Junmyeon's moans.

“Junmyeon I- Shit!” Yixing feels a familiar warmth spreading from his bellybutton to his legs and chest. It makes him lightheaded, before he's sucking in his stomach and curving towards Junmyeon’s body, head on his shoulder as he comes all over his hand and bare stomach.

The muscles of his stomach burn and his legs feel worn out but Yixing remains still, standing next to the table, trying to breath normally again. Junmyeon pampers him with kisses on the shoulder and whispers in his ears and Yixing can't find it in himself to move anyway.

Somehow they find their way into Junmyeon’s room, after they catch their breaths and cleaned the table. Managing to grab the discarded clothes from the floor and clean themselves properly, they stumble their way to the bed without sparing a single glance at the clock on the nightstand.

Maybe they should've because the next morning the sound from the phone comes way too soon for any of them to like. When the alarm goes off it draws despair groans from both of them.

Yixing rolls to his side, voicing his complaints about Junmyeon being too far. He hated that large bed from the moment he laid eyes on it, knowing it’s length is the reason why he would wake up to empty arms more than once in awhile.

He rest his head on Junmyeon’s chest, breathing in the fresh smell of his boyfriend’s soft skin. Junmyeon groans at Yixing’s sudden weight on top of him, muttering something about Kyungsoo before swiping his legs off the bed and onto the floor.

He send a smile Yixing’s way, warm and fresh and so Junmyeon-like, before grabbing a shirt from a pile of clothes that Yixing suspected was accumulating on the floor longer than it should.

Yixing watches the autumn sunlight reflects through the window, slipping inside the room and bathing Junmyeon’s pale complexion.

Yixing always thought of Junmyeon as the Sun. He couldn't help really, when the warmth of his touch was so endearing and his smile could brighten up any dark corner of the room. Junmyeon was his own, bright light and no one dared to question that. It's part of the reason why Yixing loves him so much, but was something he thought about way too much in the past. For how long he would be able to stand next to the Sun, exposed to its light, before he went blind?

But there's not a single drop of hesitation left in Yixing when it comes to Junmyeon. Maybe that's why they're so good together, Yixing never compiling because he has to, but rather because he had wanted to.

He doesn't tear his eyes away from Junmyeon, embracing the light that could incapacitate him. When Junmyeon’s weight dips the end of the mattress, and he's asking what is wrong, Yixing responds silently by grabbing him by the thighs and dropping his weight on top of Yixing’s naked body. Junmyeon gasp dies inside his throat when Yixing’s mouth finds his.

There's nothing sexy or sweet about it, bad morning breaths mixed with the still present taste of sex and each other, but neither of them care enough to pull away, busy with trembling fingers and certain thoughts.

The phone buzzes on the nightstand, loud enough for them to break apart, groaning in unisense. Junmyeon

“It's Minseok-hyung,” Yixing groans again, throwing his arm over his eyes. He wants to melt into Junmyeon’s expensive mattress and die.

“Come on, you need to eat before you leave,” Junmyeon is pushing him away. Yixing laughs at him, rolling over Junmyeon, who groans in complaint, before

“I’m up, I’m up,” Yixing drags himself across the bedroom, going for the closet. He grabs a shirt he knows is large enough, since Junmyeon is much smaller than him with the intent of showering. As Yixing walks by the bed, he slaps Junmyeon’s ass, laughing at how his boyfriend lets out a high pitched scream.

“Asshole,” he hears Junmyeon screaming but he’s already turning on the shower, water muffling the sound.

When Yixing comes out ten minutes later he can smell the coffee scent filling the apartment. His hair is dripping water on Junmyeon’s shirt, but Yixing ignores it, dragging his old jeans across the floor, walking to the kitchen with no time to spare. He finds Junmyeon sitting on the counter, next to the coffee machine, and can't control the urge to roll his eyes at him.

“Seriously why do you have to sit there,” Yixing complains but he’s smiling, tugging at his boyfriend’s pants to get his full attention. Junmyeon tears his eyes away from his phone, taking a sip of his coffee as he gives Yixing a look. Junmyeon chokes on the drink though, almost spilling it all over himself. Yixing pats his back until he can breath properly. “What’s wrong? Am I too handsome?”

Junmyeon doesn’t answer for a while, he just stares like Yixing is a ghost and not his boyfriend who slept over last night. He only speaks when Yixing starts to panic, “Yeah, something like that,” Junmyeon plays along, smiling. Yixing can tell in a heartbeat that’s it’s fake, but he doesn't push.

“I found this in your closet, do you mind?” Yixing grabs his mug on the counter, filling it with coffee until he can't anymore.

Junmyeon shakes his head, his eyes stuck on the floor. Yixing rests his hips on the counter,next to where he's sitting, and tries to take a look at Junmyeon.

“Is everything okay?” He asks, in a low tone, afraid he would scare Junmyeon away.

“I'm fine,” Junmyeon cleans his throat, making Yixing furrow his brows silently. “Are you meeting Jongdae today?”

“I'm not sure,” Yixing sighs. “We had a fight…”

“You always fight,” Junmyeon reasons, interrupting Yixing.

“Yeah I know, but I crossed the line this time,” Junmyeon only stares at him, eyebrows shooting up in his forehead. Yixing never admits he's wrong when it comes to Jongdae. Somehow whatever reaction he could have with any other human being changed when the matter it's Kim Jongdae.

“That's okay,” Junmyeon opens his legs as an invitation for Yixing to step between, lacing his fingers on the back of his neck when he does. “Jongdae will understand.”

“I'm not sure,” Yixing argues back. Junmyeon just lift his eyebrows, shooting him a silent look Yixing knows well.

“Maybe you could apologize,” Junmyeon offers then. Yixing jumps, surprised by Junmyeon’s words. Could Yixing do it?

“Maybe. Whatever,” Yixing mumbles against the rim of his mug. But both of them know It's half hearted, making Junmyeon laugh at him, pulling Yixing closer to his body.

“What time are you leaving?” he asks, lips brushing against Yixing’s as he whispers. While Yixing was showering Junmyeon must have brushed his teeth, since now his breath smells like fresh mint, hitting Yixing’s cheek.

“Soon,” Yixing says in a warning tone, hearing Junmyeon laugh in return.

“We can still have fun,” he whispers again, voice blowing in Yixing’s ear. Yixing flinches, away from the fresh air hitting his bare skin.

Saying no to Junmyeon is like lecturing a puppy. He will have a look with big, teary eyes and make heartbreaking noises that haunt anyone for the rest of their lives. Yixing knows better than to do it, unless he wants Junmyeon to bring it up for the rest of the month as an excuse for Yixing to agree with everything he comes up with. But if he gives in and leaves Junmyeon to do as he pleases he won't leave this apartment today. Yixing feels like he’s inside the lion’s cage. The most reasonable thing to do then is avoid it at any cost until he's free from Junmyeon’s deathly grip.

“How's your mom?” Junmyeon asks, shifting the mood completely. Yixing has to control himself so he doesn't go on his knees and thanks.

“She's good,” Yixing smiles. He didn't expect to have that answer, he also didn't remember to tell Junmyeon about their conversation. “I told her about us.”

“Really? What did she say?” Junmyeon asks.

“She wants to meet you.”

“How did that happen?” Junmyeon sounds surprised and Yixing wants to rolls his eyes. As if any mother in the world wouldn't like to have him as a son-in-law. Yixing laughs him off, pulling Junmyeon down for a kiss.

“They canceled today’s photoshoot,” It's the first thing Minseok tells him when Yixing jumps in the car. He usually comes and pick Yixing up all by himself, but today's he’s in the passenger seat. Yixing smiles at the driver anyways, almost unbothered by the change of planes.

“Good morning to you too, hyung,” he says, handing him and the driver coffee. The driver smiles at him, mouthing a thank you while Minsek continues to speak.

“Did you hear me? You're going to the studios, start working on your season’s album,” Yixing wants Minseok to chill, just for once in his life.

“I knew it would happen,” Yixing shrugs, “The shoot, I mean. I knew someone would turn me down eventually.” Yixing knew it would happen, that doesn't mean it makes the situation any better. But Minseok is always complaining he has more white hairs than a person at his age should and Yixing doesn't want to drive him off for the second time this month. So Yixing do the thing he does best, smile and lie. For someone who doesn't like to be fake he seems to be doing that quite a lot these days.

Minseok sighs, running a hand through his hair, blueish green this time. “That happened before already, it's not because you're gay.”

“It's going to happen more and more now,” Yixing smiles, trying to convince Minseok it's okay. “Don't worry though, I knew this would happen,” he repeats his words, hoping Minseok will listen this time.

“I thought it would be bad too, okay? We knew this was a side effect. They took a long shot with this and honestly it's been good for you, Xing.”

“I know, it isn't that bad. I thought my career would be over,” he fixes the collar of his shirt, pulling it away from his neck. “I can handle a canceled Magazine shoot.”

“That's good,” Minseok turns around to smile at him, “Now let's get you to Seungwan before she kills us,” he tries to hold his laugh when Yixing groans. Any other time he would have loved the chance to get into a studio, but with the holidays around the corner and being too soon for them to even discuss next year’s album, Yixing knows what it means.

“There is a special place in hell for people that attempt to plot about Christmas songs before December,” Yixing cries out, sliding down on his seat. He really can't run away from his life.

The studios are unforgivably cold today. Seungwan did mention something about the heater being broken before leaving him alone in the room, looking for some tea and muffins. Yixing let her because Seungwan does not function without muffins, something he had to learn the hard way.

Yixing pushed his feet against the floor, spinning in the chair. He laughs at his own silliness, leaning back on the leather chair and allowing his body to sink in it. He tries to ignore the shivers, running his hands up and down his arm once in awhile. Despite the temperature, Yixing feels at ease inside the recording studio. Each producer has one for them, to do whatever they want and helps with creativity. Seungwan has black fury carpet and a leather couch on hers. Save from a few pink cushions and the red walls everything here is black. The yellow lights never fail to electrify his skin, making the hairs of his arm lift. The buzz of it makes him jump on his seat, expectation getting the better of him out.

Yixing loves composing, second to being on stage. There's something about laying out his feelings on a paper, so he can sing them out of his heart later on. That's something he's been doing ever since he first met Seungwan, the nice aspiring songwriter that he met at the company. She used to look through the small windows in each door, searching for some inspiration.

They have been working together since day one and anytime Yixing needs new songs this is the place he wants to be. This room brings the best of his creativity, and everytime he's steps inside it something magical happens, his fingers start itching right away.

That's why Yixing can't wait for Seungwan come back, reaching for the notebook on the table, scribbling down some things he's been thinking about lately. Perhaps they're not Christmas enough but he knows Seungwan can work her magic later.

“Started without me?” Yixing tears his eyes from the paper he filled with words, looking up at Seungwan by the door. She didn't grow much since Yixing met her a decade ago. Her face did change, from that childish mischievous look she used to carry around that did wonders in charming everyone. Yixing thought he could be in love with her some day and, had he not figured out he likes men, he probably would have dated her. They seemed like the perfect couple for a lot of people, the innocent and polite boy with the exciting and playful girl. She liked her hair pitch black and cross her heart that she'd never ever do something to damage it. Seven years later and now her long strands were burning red, falling like a cascade over her narrow shoulders. Her smile is something too, Yixing can't put his finger on it, but somehow it can make you feel comfortable, that makes you exposed. Well, not in a bad way,But still really intimate. He did go around asking once and he's certainly not the only one that feels this way around Seungwan, but probably the first that was able to explain it.

He realizes he's ignoring her question when starts pouting but Yixing promptly ignore that too.

“Just writing down some ideas,” he reaches for the cup Seungwan hands him, blowing at the overheated liquid before taking a small sip.

“You're going to burn your tongue,” Seungwan says amused, at the same time Yixing puts his tongue out, extremely red at the tip and throbbing in pain. She laughs at him, dropping her body on the other chair by the control table. Just like Yixing she spins it, with her feet barely touching the ground for the necessary impulse.

The reason why they work so well together is probably because their personalities are similar. Seungwan is just as positive minded as Yixing, smiling at every encounter with difficulties. She calls procrastination “time out” and thinks her blocks are actually the universe telling her she needs to slow down. Her interior kid always play well with Yixing’s, both forming a great team worth of many awards. And also Yixing simply likes her.

“Let me see,” she reaches for the notebook slipping from Yixing’s hand, grabbing it before he can protest. “This is different,” she runs her eyes through the page, sipping at her drink. The smoke from the hot beverage scapes the rim of the cup, covering Yixing’s clear view of her face, but he can see her eyebrow furrowing.

“What do you mean different ?” Yixing snorts, trying to play it cool. If Seungwan looked up from the notebook though, she would see Yixing shifting nervously in his seat.

“Your lyrics are always honest, oppa,” Seungwan hands him the notebook back and the corners other lips curl up. “We've known each other for such a long time but you never open yourself up to me. But your lyrics do.”

Yixing looks down at the words he scribbled on the yellow page, running his fingers through the crumbled corner. The words, no matter how real they sound, just come to him. He doesn't think about them, he probably never will, but they're still there, in every song he sings and every note he plays.

“What about these?” He looks up to meet her eyes. “What they tell you?”

“That you're sad and confused,” she looks at him, apologetically. Yixing feels like screaming his lungs out, but he knows that would be rude to do near Seungwan, so he just settles with another snort.

“Confused is just an understatement,” he ignores the look she sends him, pretending to read the words he wrote once again.

“Is it because of Jongdae?” She stares blankly at Yixing, taking him by surprise at the sudden question. Seungwan doesn't know about Junmyeon. Or his relationship with Jongdae is fake. Yixing didn't think this situation through, like he always seem to do these days.

“I'm-,” Yixing tries to speak but she's cutting him off again.

“I wish you had told me,” she's pouting again except now she sounds really hurt. It makes Yixing’s heart squeeze inside his chest.

“I'm sorry Seung,” he tries to smile, blowing away the uneasiness in the air.

“That's okay oppa, I'm happy for you. Honestly you really tricked me,” she laughs and Yixing feels better instantaneously but only for a bit. “Acting like you hated him while you were actually pining over each other.”

“I never pinned over him,” Yixing is quick to say, almost hitting himself after because he sounded so desperate.

“Well, maybe you didn’t,” she agrees, making Yixing confused with her words. “Anyway, I would've supported you, oppa. A hundred percent Team Yixing,” she throws her fist up, punching the air before going back to her serious facade.

“Thank you,” Yixing whispers, hand resting over her when she comes for the notebook in his hands. He wishes he could say I'm sorry, for deceiving her too. But Minseok warned him about leaving people out of it, just to be sure. Yixing wonders how many people he still has to hurt for the sake of this horror show.

“I'm not going to be invasive, at least not yet,” she laughs and Yixing can help but follow, “But I feel like you need to write down your feelings. Let's write some songs for Jongdae,” she sounds excited to Yixing and he wants to feel the same way, but he can't.

He looks down, at the things he wrote on the paper and maybe, just maybe, that song will be about Jongdae. He doesn't think too much about it anyways, letting go of any hesitation and just letting this go with the flow.

Yixing is quick after so many years and with the way his skills improved. Seungwan points his mistakes, helping with the words that never fail to slip from his mind.

Three hours go by fast and, by then, they have half of the songs ready to the next step.

That's when Yixing finds himself laying on the couch, a notebook with crumbled pages on his lap as he tries to keep his eyes open. It's really hard, especially after Seungwan left for an appointment, dropping the silence like a bomb in the room. He certainly doesn't like when it's this quiet, allowing himself to hear his own haunting thoughts, bordering madness as he tries to not overthink so damn much. But that's just who he is, a concentrated mass of constant stress and worry. He is being contradictory to himself, sleep creeping under his skin and relaxing his limbs on the leather, but mind never more awake like now.

He thinks. About Junmyeon and his mom, about this mess he's in right now. He thinks about Kim Jongdae and how confusing he can be to Yixing, how frustrating and tiring the thought of him has made Yixing feel. He also thinks about Sehun, Junmyeon’s childhood friend who feels way too friendly. It's just another topic on the list of things Yixing throws at the ‘Give a Fuck’ pile when actually the thought shouldn't even be crossing his mind.

Yixing is so worn out he could sleep right there, on Seungwan’s cold couch but his mind won't relax and allow him to drown in the land of dreams. It only keeps his alert, eyes traveling across the ceiling, which he finds not as interesting as the darkness of his closed eyelids. If Yixing actually could keep his mind in check, if he had a great control of it he wouldn't be in this situation in first place. But he could keep if from wandering too far, away from the images of Junmyeon smiling and panting, covered in sweat. He could keep it from emptying itself from all his worries in life just to fill in with the sounds Junmyeon made whenever Yixing touched him inappropriately, the way his muscles tightening under Yixing’s calloused fingers and relaxed at the touch of his wet tongue. He certainly wasn't thinking about last night, how Junmyeon came so fast and hard because Yixing ditched the condom. No, Yixing couldn't think about that and he isn't thinking about that right now. He certainly isn't feeling bothered by the heat surrounding him. No, because that's the heater that someone finally fixed, and not the way his body is warming up with the sexual thoughts of his boyfriend. Yixing definitely isn't starting to get hard and tight inside his pants.

Yixing needs to call Minseok so he can leave and take care of his problem , but Minseok will only laugh at him, drag him to the practice rooms and lock him there. Yixing can't touch himself either, at least not here, inside Seungwan’s recording studio. He has to settle with the third option, thinking about fluffy little things, his grandmother pinching his cheeks and his grandfather eating rice. But it isn't working, not even by one bit, and Yixing wants to die, running a hand through his face and groaning really loud. He wants to stump his feet out of frustration but that would be too childish of him.

Yixing runs his hand through his hair, trying to fix it the best he can as he gets up from the couch. He need to calm himself down, he decides.

Pulling his sweater down to cover his bulge the best he can, Yixing walks out of the studio and towards the bathrooms. He prays for the hallway to be empty as he walks past the many many doors and tries to ignore the possibility of someone stumbling on him.

But the odds are, as always, against Yixing and in the first corner he bumps into someone. Amber stands in front of Yixing staring at him with amusement in her eyes, as Yixing bows down many times and apologizes nonstop. She's quite something, this one. Amber is intimidating at first, with her tattoos and foreign manners that give in she's not from here, the way she speaks loudly and have no boundaries whatsoever. Yixing had been afraid to shake her hand the first time they met for God’s sake, but then she played him the demo of a ballad she wrote. It's one of Yixing’s favourites to this day, and he instantly felt bad at the time. She's the reason he once realized is not good to make assumptions, or to judge anyone before you really get to know them. Yixing sometimes forget about that though, so it's good to meet with her like this, walking around the corridors and exchanging small talk. But right now Yixing would've preferred if they didn't.

“Hey oppa, what are you doing?” Amber is a extremely touchy person and Yixing has to fight the urge to flinch when she puts a small hand on his back, smiling brightly. It's not because he doesn't like it, but considering he has a problem down there the situation is not ideal.

“I was writing Jongdae and decided to look for songs,” Yixing stutters, saying the name of the first person he could think off, making Amber laugh. “I mean-,” He quickly tries to correct his second mistake but she interrupts him.

“Don't worry, I got you,” she smiles and runs a hand through her short hair cut, fixing the hazel locks the best she can.

“So,” Yixing clears his throat and Amber flinches at the harshness of his act but Yixing can't think about trivial things when he's panicking. “I'm going to… Keep looking,” Yixing tries to give her a genuine smile, hoping that Jongdae could be useful for once in his life.

“Don't worry, brave knight, your search is over. Your prince is in my studio,” she flash her brows up and down, looking even more entertained than before. Yixing grimaces, wanting to throw himself against the wall and cry because of fucking course Jongdae is with her right now. Out of all times and all people, he's with Amber and Yixing stumbled on her. “Come on, I'll take you there.”

“Oh, that's okay then, I can reach out for him later,” Yixing tries to argue but her hand is still on his back, holding him still as if she's expecting Yixing to run away.

“Nonsense,” Amber doesn't let Yixing say anything else, pushing him in the direction of her studio. Yixing stumbles at first, letting himself be dragged by Amber while he mentally curses his damn mouth once again.

“Not, but seriously I don't want to be a nuisance or something,” Yixing gives it one last try, when they are standing at the red door of Amber’s studio. Amber rolls her eyes and give him a look like she's questioning him.

“Jongdae is probably on his phone or doing something equally useless,” Amber opens the door and urges him in. “You're not interrupting any work, right Jongdae?”

As promised Jongdae has his eyes glued to his phone, slumped down on his stomach, all over the leather couch. He lifts his cheek on the armrest to see what the hell Amber is talking about, when he finally notices Yixing standing at the door. There's surprise written all over his face, body jumping up and off the couch. He seems nervous at first but a few seconds in Yixing thinks he finally remembers last time they met. His face is twisting into something more angry, fists curling in next to his body. So Yixing stays at the door, not daring to flinch a single muscle and holding his breath, afraid that if he moves Jongdae is going to punch him right on the spot.

“I found this one lost in the hallway. He was calling for you,” at the sound of Amber’s voice Jongdae relaxes his fists, making Yixing release his breath.

“For me?” His eyebrows furrow in confusion. Amber nods, pushing Yixing further inside to close the door behind her. Yixing watches, without leaving his spot, as she settles down on her chair and spin around just like he and Seungwan did earlier. He wants to laugh at it but the weight of Jongdae’s searching eyes are still on him, scaring away any easiness in him.

“Sit down,” Amber urges him with her hands, rolling the chair to him and pushing him into the center of the room. Yixing guesses that this situation couldn't get any worse, so he takes a seat on the other chair, right in front of Jongdae. He's still standing, looking at Yixing like he's deciding if he can stay or not.

“What do you want with me?” His voice is low and Yixing blinks a few times, trying to make out what he said. He doesn't look that much angry, Yixing notices as Jongdae slumps down on the couch, phone forgotten on the space next to him.

“I- Do you want to... I don't know, grab a coffee or something,” Yixing doesn't want to stutter, because that's ridiculous and would make them think he's nervous. He really can't help how the words come out though.

“Why should I?” Jongdae’s voice is bitter and Yixing gives his a look and tilts his head at Amber. Jongdae rolls his eyes, staring at Yixing like he's ridiculous. “She knows,” he simply says.

One, two heartbeats and Yixing finally understands. “Oh,” He whispers and Amber starts laughing, watching their interaction like it's the best show she'd ever seen.

“Stop having fun out of my misery,” Jongdae says to her and it Yixing’s chest stings.

“I'm sorry lover boy, I can't,” she's still laughing and Jongdae gives Amber the nastiest look. Then he's turning to Yixing, ignoring his friend’s laugh.

“I can't tonight,” he's professional, just like Yixing expected. It makes him realize that apologizing it's going to be even harder than he expected.

“Rain check?” Amber jumps into the conversation in Yixing's favor, making Jongdae give her another eyebrows-up look. Yixing gives her a thankful look instead, wondering how desperate he must look right now for her to take his side instead.

Jongdae meet Yixing’s eyes, holding the stare for a moment. Yixing almost falls off his chair, leaning forward, expectation flooding his mind. Jongdae groans, throwing his head back. “Okay,” he spits out like the words are his cherry medicine, but it doesn't kill Amber’s excitement scream. Yixing allows a smile to spread across his face, meeting Jongdae’s eyes for a moment, before the later tears his gaze away quickly. Yixing doesn't think much of the blush settling itself on Jongdae’s face.

When October's Fall hits the city and the end of the year gets near is hard not to find Yixing inside a practice room, dancing with the lights off or sliding his fingers across the piano tiles. If you're looking for Yixing, that's the first place you have to go for. And he had recurred to this particular one for the past few weeks, which means Jongdae had obligatorily been here too once or twice.

That's why when Jongdae shows up tonight, throwing his bag on the floor and laying down on the couch, Yixing knows something is up. He is sure they don't have any schedule together today, he asked Minseok earlier about it, hoping for a chance to meet with Jongdae.

“Don't ask,” Jongdae says, sensing Yixing’s confusion. He's covering his eyes with his forearm but somehow he knows Yixing is tense, “Just keep doing whatever.”

Yixing watches as he sighs and then turns around to keep practicing, deciding to ignore Jongdae at all cost. But maybe something is wrong because Yixing tries and tries the same step over and over, not seeming to get it right. He takes a deep breath, wondering if the lights are the problem.

“Can I turn the lights off?” Yixing asks and Jongdae nods, still covering his eyes. It's not like it would make a difference for him.

Yixing likes to dance with the lights off. It helps him follow the rhythm and only that, allowing his body to perform along with the song without any visual distractions. But tonight, even after the lights are off, only the lantern of his phone lighting up the room, Yixing can't find in himself to focus. Instead he finds himself paying attention to Jongdae’s presence. He doesn't tear his eyes away, focusing on the way the other toss and turn on the couch, until he sits so suddenly at some point, giving up on whatever and pulling his knees to his chest. He pays attention to the other's loud breath, how it fills the room between songs, accompanying Yixing’s unsteady ones. Once in awhile he even ventures with letting their eyes met, pretending it didn't happen at all a second later.

“I'm here to run away from them,” Jongdae finally speaks. Yixing jerks awake from his thoughts, staring at the younger through the mirror. He looking at the floor, biting at his lower lip before bringing himself to keep talking, “This is the last place they would look for me so…”

“You're running away from Joohyun?” Yixing asks, realizing how raw he sounds with his dry throat, and his voice makes Jongdae cringe, probably for sympathy. Yixing gets a low ‘sort of’ from Jongdae as an answer.

But he's still looking at Jongdae, still waiting for him to lift his head, to see Yixing. It isn't until he realizes how mad it sounds that he snaps his head away, fully invested in getting that one step properly done.

He feels when those brown eyes set themselves on him again, but he ignores. He ignores it as much as he can't, along with the weird feeling in his stomach and the dangerous thoughts about an angel’s voice singing for him to dance. He ignores whatever that is and blames everything on his exhaustion.

“When was the last time you slept?” Jongdae makes him stop dancing again. Yixing pretends he was going to grab water anyways.

He goes for the mini fridge, grabbing two bottles and then settles himself on the couch next to Jongdae, handing him one. Jongdae stares at it for a while, brows jumping up on his forehead.

“It's not poisoned,” Yixing says, but his tone is not accusatory or bitter.

Jongdae shrugs, twisting the cap and taking a tentative sip. Yixing rolls his eyes, taking a long sip from his own bottle.

“Why are you running away from your manager team?” Yixing keeps his eyes on the mirror and he does not stare when Jongdae runs his hands through his hair, doesn't matter what his mind tries to accuse him later.

“This and that,” Jongdae shrugs again, “Why are you dancing in the dark?” He finally looks at Yixing in the eye and the latter finds himself incapable of looking away, looking for something he's not sure yet.

“Easier to feel the beat,” Yixing answers. Somehow he can't shut down the curiosity in him, so he pushes further. “Does it have to do with our...?” Yixing lets the question die, unlike the other time the words ‘fake dating’ get stuck on his throat, clogging his air.

Jongdae’s snorts at Yixing’s hesitation, staring at the label of his bottle. “Nothing serious,” he says, barely in a whisper that gets Yixing into full focus mode to understand. Yixing’s still trying to make sense out of this situation, wondering if Jongdae is silently calling for a truce or if he's just letting his weak side take over for a moment.

Yixing eyes remain on Jongdae for as long as the other doesn't notice, watching his features from close. He’s thankful for the darkness swallowing the room that keeps Jongdae from noticing as Yixing tries to make out the outline of his profile. His eyes longing on it, all the way from his jawline to his cheekbones and up to the depression of his tempers. Yixing craves in his mind the curl of his lips, the most significant feature from far. It makes him gulp down hard, now aware of how dry his throat is, when Jongdae takes a sip from his water, lips curling around the bottle’s rim. He always thought Jongdae was good looking, but only now he's really getting the chance to see it from close.

Jongdae keeps himself lost in thoughts, occupied with his own mind while Yixing indulges himself with the false idea that everything remains the same, even though he knows now, looking at the curve of Jongdae’s lashes, everything has changed.

Yixing thinks this is room is too small for both his conscience and Jongdae’s smile and comes up with an excuse to leave. He doesn't understand how something that once drove him up the wall now feels so warm.

“Can I ask for that rain check now?” His voice is barely a whisper, but still manages to startle Jongdae. Jongdae is confused for a moment, tilting his head at Yixing.

“Oh, that,” his voice is loud and Yixing is still trying to figure it out if it's just the usual Jongdae or if Yixing is an exception to everything he does.

“Yes, that,” Yixing looks down at his shoes, away from magnetic pull of Jongdae’s eyes. He can still feel them following him though, as he picks on his loose shoelaces.

He forces his eyes closed, just waiting for rejection he knows is coming - but hey, he had to try, right? - when he feels Jongdae shifting next to him. Yixing opens his eyes, surprised to see Jongdae on his feet, extending his hand to Yixing.

“Let's go,” he doesn't look at Yixing while he helps him up, he doesn't say anything else either, busy gathering his stuff and watching as Yixing, still awed by his answer, walks to his backpack and fetches for his clean shirt. Not that he's clean, but it's better than to use his wet, stinky tank top. He takes it off, throwing it inside his bag and, using a towel to dry his sweat, puts on the shirt.

They're out of the door and into the elevator in a minute, silence unfazed between them. It isn't before they reach the garage that Yixing decides to speak.

“I need to say something.”

“My car is over there,” Jongdae speaks at the same time, “I'm sorry,” he looks at him, fetching his car keys inside his jacket’s pocket.

Yixing gets in with awkward, contained movements, sighing at the cold seat and doing his best not to touch it.

“What do you need to say?” Jongdae turns on the car and the heat, watching as Yixing shivers. “Want a jacket?” He asks rhetorically, reaching the back seat and throwing some dark sweatshirt on Yixing’s lap.

“Where are we going?” Yixing asks, eyeing the sweatshirt. It looks too big for Jongdae, making him question the ownership.

“You are the one who invented me,” Jongdae is raising an eyebrow at him and it's a good look, Yixing decides. But Jongdae is handsome - Yixing always thought that even when he used to hate his attitude - so every look must be a good one, Yixing concludes.

“I didn't really think about it…” Yixing hesitates, scratching the back of his head. Jongdae tries to keep in a chuckle, dragging Yixing’s eyes to him. Forget what he said about smug Jongdae, happy Jongdae is a hundred times more attractive, with his long fringe falling over closed eyes as he leans forward, laughing. Yixing makes a mental note to make him laugh more next time. Well, if he gets to have a next time.

“I have something in mind,” Jongdae smiles at him.

“Nothing too crazy I hope?” Yixing asks, uncertain.

“You're gonna have to see for yourself,” Jongdae winks at him and Yixing can't help but feel uncomfortable under his stare. “This shirt,” Yixing looks at Jongdae, but the other’s eyes are on the road so Yixing hums acknowledging him, “Is it yours? You were wearing it the other day too,” Jongdae tries to sound casual but Yixing can hear his voice cracking. He looks down at the shirt he's wearing, Junmyeon’s shirt, then looks at Jongdae again, furrowing his eyebrows.

“No, it's… Junmyeon’s shirt,” Yixing doesn't know why, but he hesitates too, incapable of saying Junmyeon’s name without choking. It feels weird, to have the weight of his name like that on his tongue.

“Is that why you had a boner last time? You were with him?” The red light allows Jongdae to look at him, watching as Yixing’s cheeks are quickly filled with rouge.

“I'm- I don't- How did you-,” and there he goes again, useless and grasping for words, but Yixing can't really for a sentence under Jongdae’s mister opus stare.

“It was hard not to notice,” Jongdae sounds apologetic, but he doesn't give Yixing time to decide, turning back to driving. “Put on the sweatshirt, you can't get sick.” Jongdae ends the conversation, but Yixing wants to keep going. He wants to argue that no, he wasn't with Junmyeon, and that he can't get sick from a bad weather, that only viruses and germs can really make him sick. But he doesn't. All he does is get inside the sweatshirt and lean into the window. It's better to keep his eyes turned to the other direction, Yixing realizes, away from Jongdae’s distracting face.

Part 3