"I wanna be a star tonight, dance with me until the morning light"
I think its been awhile since I last updated. I've been working out a lot. I'm really wanting to get into the Navy. At the rate I'm going, I should be able to get in next week. Things have been going really great with Carrie. I have this really wonderful feeling of belonging and healthiness about everything. I thank God and ask that his will be done. Below is another hillarious story.
Carrie Kender and Fender Bender
Carrie Kender lived in the magical land of happiness on butter cup lane deep in the forest of enchantment. No, this isn't an acid trip or an ecstasy hallucination. The forest was originally called "The Forest of Tainted Influence" but the inhabitants decided that the name had negative connotations and changed it to one that was more positive. Carrie Kender was cute. She had big pretty green eyes, pointy ears, a button nose and a big smile that could light up a room. She had recently been voted president of the welcoming comittee and felt it was her duty to make visitors feel welcome. Naturally, the teddy bears were jealous, so they convened a secret meeting to draw up plans against her. They made a dark pact and signed it with their own blood. One of the bears had a really long name and passed out shortly after.
"Something must be done" Fluffed a plump brown bear.
"Yes" a black one agreed, "But what?"
"We could lure her into the dark reaches of the forest where the witch lives so that she will be baked into a pie and eaten" suggested a polar bear
The others scoffed.
"The witch was recently diagnosed with Diabetes and no longer eats pies or Kenders"
Brown bear reminded him. The bears eventually decided to try to force her car off the road while she was driving. Carrie Kender liked her car. It was a Cooper Mini S with all the power and performance options. Her boyfriend, Huggy Panda, had decided that even the best model of Mini Cooper was slow, so he had it modified with Sport Compact MSD ignition, Racing seats, exhaust headers, shock tower bars, 17" Konig Toxin wheels, and the back seats had been removed to accomidate a reinforcing roll cage that increased rigidity of the car and made it more stable. All of this was unknown to the Bears of course and they thought little of the consequences as they piled into their bear car and drove toward Carrie Kender's tree. She lived in a tree, just like the Keebler Elves. But unlike the Keebler Elves, she didn't spend all her time baking cookies and crackers with "magic" in them. The bears staked out the place until Carrie left to go somewhere. Being a happy little kender, she was blissfully unaware of the bears' intentions. She didn't notice the car full of sinister teddies following her. She didn't notice when they sped up and tried to tail gate her. She didn't notice when they failed to negotiate a hairpin turn and careened down an embankment into a stream. After picking themselves up out of the stream, the bears decided on a different course of action.
At midnight on the 12th of August, Black bear snuck into Carrie Kender's yard and began to sabotage her car. Black Bear had been chosen because he was black and blended in with the darkness. He resented that sort of racist rhetoric, but it was true. He was also better suited for the job because he had broken into cars in his younger days. Just as he was about to wedge the window open, he was attacked by Carries dogs and torn to peices. The bears went back to the drawing board. They played pictionary and hangman before coming up with a new plan on how to malign Carrie Kender. They decided on a plan to pull a spike strip onto the road as she drove around a bend, pop her tires, bludgeon her to death, and make it look like a car accident by pushing the car into a tree and setting it on fire. It was the sort of plan that only sick twisted individuals would devise. Namely, people like the Author of this story and Wyle E. Coyote. They positioned themselves in a strategic location and waited until they heard the sound of what must be Carrie Kender's car. On the count of three, they pulled the spike strip onto the road and made the worst mistake of their lives. It wasn't Carrie Kender at all, but a police officer. The bears were taken into custody and a warrant was obtained to search their hideout. The dark pact was found and of course they denied writing it, but they're DNA was all over it so they were caught red handed as it were.
Carrie Kender continued her roll as president of the welcoming committee and was never again challenged by those sinister bears. The bears were banished from the enchanted forest, never return. The remains of black bear were discreetly burried where no one would ever find them.
Carrie Kender and Fender Bender
Carrie Kender lived in the magical land of happiness on butter cup lane deep in the forest of enchantment. No, this isn't an acid trip or an ecstasy hallucination. The forest was originally called "The Forest of Tainted Influence" but the inhabitants decided that the name had negative connotations and changed it to one that was more positive. Carrie Kender was cute. She had big pretty green eyes, pointy ears, a button nose and a big smile that could light up a room. She had recently been voted president of the welcoming comittee and felt it was her duty to make visitors feel welcome. Naturally, the teddy bears were jealous, so they convened a secret meeting to draw up plans against her. They made a dark pact and signed it with their own blood. One of the bears had a really long name and passed out shortly after.
"Something must be done" Fluffed a plump brown bear.
"Yes" a black one agreed, "But what?"
"We could lure her into the dark reaches of the forest where the witch lives so that she will be baked into a pie and eaten" suggested a polar bear
The others scoffed.
"The witch was recently diagnosed with Diabetes and no longer eats pies or Kenders"
Brown bear reminded him. The bears eventually decided to try to force her car off the road while she was driving. Carrie Kender liked her car. It was a Cooper Mini S with all the power and performance options. Her boyfriend, Huggy Panda, had decided that even the best model of Mini Cooper was slow, so he had it modified with Sport Compact MSD ignition, Racing seats, exhaust headers, shock tower bars, 17" Konig Toxin wheels, and the back seats had been removed to accomidate a reinforcing roll cage that increased rigidity of the car and made it more stable. All of this was unknown to the Bears of course and they thought little of the consequences as they piled into their bear car and drove toward Carrie Kender's tree. She lived in a tree, just like the Keebler Elves. But unlike the Keebler Elves, she didn't spend all her time baking cookies and crackers with "magic" in them. The bears staked out the place until Carrie left to go somewhere. Being a happy little kender, she was blissfully unaware of the bears' intentions. She didn't notice the car full of sinister teddies following her. She didn't notice when they sped up and tried to tail gate her. She didn't notice when they failed to negotiate a hairpin turn and careened down an embankment into a stream. After picking themselves up out of the stream, the bears decided on a different course of action.
At midnight on the 12th of August, Black bear snuck into Carrie Kender's yard and began to sabotage her car. Black Bear had been chosen because he was black and blended in with the darkness. He resented that sort of racist rhetoric, but it was true. He was also better suited for the job because he had broken into cars in his younger days. Just as he was about to wedge the window open, he was attacked by Carries dogs and torn to peices. The bears went back to the drawing board. They played pictionary and hangman before coming up with a new plan on how to malign Carrie Kender. They decided on a plan to pull a spike strip onto the road as she drove around a bend, pop her tires, bludgeon her to death, and make it look like a car accident by pushing the car into a tree and setting it on fire. It was the sort of plan that only sick twisted individuals would devise. Namely, people like the Author of this story and Wyle E. Coyote. They positioned themselves in a strategic location and waited until they heard the sound of what must be Carrie Kender's car. On the count of three, they pulled the spike strip onto the road and made the worst mistake of their lives. It wasn't Carrie Kender at all, but a police officer. The bears were taken into custody and a warrant was obtained to search their hideout. The dark pact was found and of course they denied writing it, but they're DNA was all over it so they were caught red handed as it were.
Carrie Kender continued her roll as president of the welcoming committee and was never again challenged by those sinister bears. The bears were banished from the enchanted forest, never return. The remains of black bear were discreetly burried where no one would ever find them.