The Hardest Decision
I had a really great weekend. School had been out for 5 days because of snow and then I had to be in Savannah for an event. It was great to go from the snow to the warm weather. It was also cool to get out of town on my own for a change. I rarely get to do that. Hell, I rarely get a chance to go out of town.
The only problem with going out of town alone, is all of the eating alone. I have never liked eating alone, but now that I am not drinking, it is even harder. Before, I could go sit at the bar and chat, and at least I wouldn't feel like I was eating alone. But now I get a booth or a table and order my Coke or Diet Coke. It just feels so much worse.
One night this weekend was really hard. I had been out all day; at the event and walking around taking pictures for class. I wanted to unwind and watch the football games. So, I went to the pub across from the hotel and got a table in the corner in view of the TVs. Well, of course, there was the beer and wine list on the table (I usually push it to the side). For some reason, it was taking a really long time to be greeted and asked for my drink order. With each passing moment I was drawn more and more to the drink menu. And with each moment I would get closer and closer to making that choice. I kept telling myself, "It'll be fine. You'll just have one." Then I started thinking, "No one will know, so it doesn't matter."
That final thought it is what did it. I patiently waited and as soon as the server came I firmly ordered a Coke and put it behind me. That was one of the hardest fought decisions I've had this year. Honestly. I thought less about dropping $700 on a new computer than I did about whether Saturday was going to be the day I drank again.
The only problem with going out of town alone, is all of the eating alone. I have never liked eating alone, but now that I am not drinking, it is even harder. Before, I could go sit at the bar and chat, and at least I wouldn't feel like I was eating alone. But now I get a booth or a table and order my Coke or Diet Coke. It just feels so much worse.
One night this weekend was really hard. I had been out all day; at the event and walking around taking pictures for class. I wanted to unwind and watch the football games. So, I went to the pub across from the hotel and got a table in the corner in view of the TVs. Well, of course, there was the beer and wine list on the table (I usually push it to the side). For some reason, it was taking a really long time to be greeted and asked for my drink order. With each passing moment I was drawn more and more to the drink menu. And with each moment I would get closer and closer to making that choice. I kept telling myself, "It'll be fine. You'll just have one." Then I started thinking, "No one will know, so it doesn't matter."
That final thought it is what did it. I patiently waited and as soon as the server came I firmly ordered a Coke and put it behind me. That was one of the hardest fought decisions I've had this year. Honestly. I thought less about dropping $700 on a new computer than I did about whether Saturday was going to be the day I drank again.