(no subject)
Really rough right now.
Want to cut so badly. I have a knife next to me. I put it up to my arm but pulled it away.
I've been having a really rough week--couple of weeks and I need a release. I don't have any alcohol, and it's Sunday night. I gave that shit up anyway. But cutting is worse. It never stops at once. But, God, I need something.
I took my pills a few minutes ago and I'm hoping if I just sit here and right that they will kick in and this urge will go.
I should call someone. But it 's late and they all have work or stuff in the morning. I think I'll just type.
I really want to cut. It's so strange that I can be addicted to this. But, it helps, really, it does.
I should call someone.
I really want a drink.
I want to cut.
I should call someone.
I should call someone.
I'm just really on edge. I see my therapist on Thursday but I don't know if I can make it to Thursday. Maybe I should call the nurse. Maybe there is an appointment earlier. But what if they want to send me to the hospital? I can't go to the hospital. Not now.
I should just call someone. They'll understand. They always tell me to call. But I feel so stupid. I feel, I don't know, like a baby. Like I need someone to talk stay up and talk me through it.
I really want to cut.
Just call someone. Just call someone.
I really, really want to cut. But why? I am already in enough pain with my back and wrist and shoulder, shouldn't that be enough?
But, GOD, this urge is so strong. I just AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Want to cut so badly. I have a knife next to me. I put it up to my arm but pulled it away.
I've been having a really rough week--couple of weeks and I need a release. I don't have any alcohol, and it's Sunday night. I gave that shit up anyway. But cutting is worse. It never stops at once. But, God, I need something.
I took my pills a few minutes ago and I'm hoping if I just sit here and right that they will kick in and this urge will go.
I should call someone. But it 's late and they all have work or stuff in the morning. I think I'll just type.
I really want to cut. It's so strange that I can be addicted to this. But, it helps, really, it does.
I should call someone.
I really want a drink.
I want to cut.
I should call someone.
I should call someone.
I'm just really on edge. I see my therapist on Thursday but I don't know if I can make it to Thursday. Maybe I should call the nurse. Maybe there is an appointment earlier. But what if they want to send me to the hospital? I can't go to the hospital. Not now.
I should just call someone. They'll understand. They always tell me to call. But I feel so stupid. I feel, I don't know, like a baby. Like I need someone to talk stay up and talk me through it.
I really want to cut.
Just call someone. Just call someone.
I really, really want to cut. But why? I am already in enough pain with my back and wrist and shoulder, shouldn't that be enough?
But, GOD, this urge is so strong. I just AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!