Day Seven: Monkey Gone to Heaven

[8percentchance]

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[valentineluke]

*smirking*

[pitfallen]

Kinda funny you know the victim's name if you've never met her.

Kinda suspicious if you ask me.

But I'm hard up for paying work, so if you've got money, I'll look into it.

[8percentchance]

Hey, she had an ID, like, from the hospital. I figure--you know, even if I don't know her at all, I should maybe find out her name. Seems like the polite thing to do. Who knows, maybe it's a fake. Or a plant. No, not like a house plant, I mean a set up.

I don't...maybe it is, a little. But I figure, you know, least I can do is find out her name.

Oh, see, now there's the problem. I can barely afford a Value Meal right about now, but...

If you can help figure this creepy stuff out, what with the hooded murderers? Sure, I'll pay you, whatever I got.

[pitfallen]

Why am I getting the feeling there's an echo here...?

Good enough for me! Not like I'll be fined if I can't solve it either way. What's the worst that could happen?

[8percentchance]

Harry Lockhart. I used to be a magician. Thanks a lot, seriously.

I never was a detective. I mean, sure I work for one, and maybe I help solve cases, but my god, it's really hard to do by myself. I know, I know, mental disabilities, idiot, etc, but come on, I really thought I had something here. I mean, I know I can do this stuff, but it's very hard when they're pulling this mysterious hoods and cloaks and dozens of murders in one day. It's like fucking Sin City here.

[blackeyedskank]

Do you ever stop talking?

[8percentchance]

I don't know, do you ever stop dying your hair, Barbie?--

Whatever, no time for this, want to skip to the end, where you leave in a huff and I go back to trying to, I don't know, solve a crime? Important shit like that?

[blackeyedskank]

Nice try, but this bitch was born with it. Although I do appreciate you not wasting my time.

[8percentchance]

Hey, you're the one who showed up here. It's called the scroll bar. Use it.

((OOC: Aww, I wanna keep threading this, but I think it's pretty much over here. Same time next post?))

[8percentchance]

So that right there? Means there's no motive. Well, maybe money or some shit, but really? That's old news, there. But what I mean is--there's no real good, well, bad reason for this--this entire thing. Which is all sorts of fucked up, and means that I'm so far out of my league it's like I'm playing baseball.

Oh. I'm sorry, man. I didn't know. I don't really know how to solve this...but I'll do my best, or you can help from here, I mean, medical diagnoses has to have something in common with detectiving? Maybe? I don't know.

I-well, you know, no enemies is a good thing. At least there's that.

[8percentchance]

Until five months ago, I boosted X-boxes. Trust me, I'm sure you'd be much more upstanding and whole lot of other words that mean "don't have any priors".

A curse? Oh, I guess that...doesn't make it at all okay, but at least- Wait, she might be fine at midnight? Seriously? That happens here? What--any zombies here, or something? Oh, god.

[lastpunchline]

Everyone dies.

[8percentchance]

Yeah, but I'd rather not have someone do it for me. Nothing personal.

((OOC: ohgodohgodohgod ffffff *so out of my league here omg*))

[lastpunchline]

Do it for you? What, were you planning on having a murder spree?

[ooc: lol breatheeeeeeeeee]

[8percentchance]

Oh, great, here it comes. Harry, come on, stop sounding like a thug and pull yourself together. Come on, man, you can do it. Believe in the me who believes in you, or something like that.

No, I mean, I'd rather not be murdered any time soon. You know, not have someone else punch my metaphorical ticket.

((OOC: *breatheees*))